Couch 79: Spend some time on Couch 79 (snap, snap)

What, you didnt like my explanation?? Sd was being subtle, as usual, and i was being inarticulate, as usual. I really should practice writing more. Seriously. I do feel my voice is now more sincere, more authentic, but my sentence construction, word selection sucks - , editing especially is nonexistent.

Bouncing on the couchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m getting upset with the “Heal your own inner child” idea that's going around so much. Sounds great, but... Am I supposed to have a transference relationship with my own self? I thought transference is the inner child transfering early feelings onto a therapist who represents the good/bad parent in early life. It is a relationship problem, not just a do-it-yourself project. Yes, we need to be helpful and loving to our own inner child, but having self-transference? That might make me a very good hermit. Maybe even attractive to someone avoidant. Something's drastically missing.

((Hankster))
I did not understand that sd was more subtle than anybody else. And I feel like a fool for asking about things that every normal person understands. That's all.

Crikey.
Just v funny. Everyone makes lovely, usual baby comments...gorgeous, so cute, beautiful...
Sd says seems like a nice baby. As baby's go. Was v funny.
Maybe it's a British thing.

You didn't seem like a fool to me. It was a genuine question and it's always valid and ok to ask for clarification. Also I don't think anybody meant to make you feel that way.
What made me laugh about sd's comment (and often does) is her deadpan delivery and the way she understates everything. It's just her style I guess, and makes me laugh and think 'typical stopdog'

I realized that it has been days sense I have showered .not usually me but I must say this evenings shower felt amazing . oops

Frankly it had to be pointed out for me to get it this time. It slightly tweaked my ear when i first read it - like the proverbial red herring in mystery books

i feel like i really need my t i want her to be my mother. i want her to hug me. to hold my hand. i want someone. i need someone. and at the same time i'm always fighting all of this arhreiguhefnasdjaseiogj489efhqnwiup

Nope, just lost in translation methinks.

Spill my coffee and I will hunt. you. down. !

So y'all know that homework I assigned myself the other day? Well I did a pretty insightful piece of work with my overblown sense of guilt yesterday. I feel like I had a session with t! Good heavens, I hope I'm not expecting me to pay myself for it!

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Yeah, me too. I want my T so bad today, but I'm not sure for what. I feel like a little kid who just wants to be near her mommy.

I would if I were you. Treat yourself, you deserve it

Better not. That would be taxable income but not a deductible expense.

Heehee !

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One of my favorite movies, Drop Dead Gorgeous is on tonight. I love mockumentaries.

Im making a crustless sweet potato pie with tofu. I thought it would be a good way to increase the protein content of a relatively good carb.

Is it useful or reassuring at all to have someone who cannot possibly know, say they know for sure or guarantee a therapist will or will not do something?

Sometimes, yes. When I'm catastrophizing and maybe fear my T might terminate me, for example, for... I dunno, let's say.... telling her she sucks, it's helpful to know if the majority thinks I'm catastrophizing.

That's not to say the crowd's always right or worth listening to, certainly they can't predict the future, but it's sometimes easier to see from outside of an emotionally intense situation when things are very likely or very unlikely to occur.

Of course, one wants to be careful.... if my therapist then defies popular opinion and terminates me tomorrow, I would be furious, ha. Not justifiably, though, because I should know as a grown woman to take the opinion of any random peanut gallery with a grain of salt.

Peanuts are really always best with salt anyway.

Well, good to know. My reaction to such a thing is how the hell would you be able to guarantee anything.
The therapist tried saying she guaranteed something once. It went horribly awry, because I know more about me and my family than she does. I don't let her say it to me anymore. I do find it an odd thing for people to say when they have no ability to control the situation. I do not find it reassuring at all.

There's a fine line... sometimes I read the "don't worry, they won't be mad" type responses to other posters and find them reasonable and reassuring. Then again, sometimes I read the "a therapist would never do that" responses and find them arrogant and even misleading....

I think for me it depends on how well I know the person and how typical or atypical the situation is.

I mean, I'd feel reassured to see someone write that feeling angry and telling the therapist was acceptable, and upset to see someone write that a therapist would never, I dunno, yell at a client or something else that I know for a fact could happen.

P.S. I just saw your addition- I agree that having a therapist try to guarantee anything about my life is inappropriate and unhelpful. I like generic reassurances sometimes like 'it'll be alright' just as a comforting phrase, but I definitely don't trust a therapist to predict my future! No one's better equipped than me to determine how things might play out in my family. However, I do sometimes find it helpful to work on my being less anxious about potential outcomes so I don't fuel my fears of things going badly, I suppose just the difference between thinking calmly about something vs. being in a panic. My T helps w/the panic sometimes.

Where's the beef?

I usually hedge and say "I hope your T won't do that" or "a good T wouldn't do that" or "none of my Ts ever did that".