Couch 83: In a world where...

School starts back today. Stayed up doing lesson plans last night (depression makes me procrastinaaaaaaate). Bigger spawn is getting dressed and soon we shall begin!

Things I like about homeschooling: I can wear PJs, I don't have to get up at o'dark early, I do not have to go outside into the tundra.

Yup. Back at school this morning. Trying to get my brain to wrap around Samuel Johnson on a Monday morning after a two week holiday is a challenge. Here I go!

Grrrr... The room check nazis just got on me for some dust in the corner of my shower. Argh! Reason #5137 I need to get out of this place. Which incidentally is not going to happen if I spend all day scrubbing the damn room with a toothbrush. I'm only still here today because I'm doing laundry. And the shower IS clean tyvm. I'm just not obsessive about it. I save that for therapy... Now feck off with yourself, nitpicking housekeeping lady... grumble grumble grumble...

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I swear my kotex used to freeze up on the walk to school. 5 miles in the snow uphill both ways! Well okay i do remember my thighs getting almost frostbitten. Girls had to wear skirts to school in the olden days ya know.

Js - holy carp - who DUSTS their shower???!!! Are they insane???

That's what I said!
It doesn't help that the shower has one of those crappy cheapo non-removable showerheads that make it difficult to wash children, particularly small wriggly boys who like to turn on and off the water at random intervals, and impossible to spray water into the far corner.

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LOL... Dust the shower? Really...? That is odd.

Wish we had a wider range of avatar as being a visual person I read a post and think that doen't sound like Mast or MKAC or FKM just a thought. or anynumber of members.

Agreed. I wanted to add my own, but couldn't.

BPA - yes, I saw a post by myself that I really didn't recognise, because it was written by someone else with the same avatar. I could change I guess, but I have had this avatar since 2011...

You can upload your own I did but cabnwuite remember how to.

I found the spot to do it, but couldn't figure out how. Silly thing.

having a hugely panicked night tonight

You should just be able to click "browse" and add your own.

Go to My Profile along the top, and then on the left hand side select "Edit Avatar" then scroll all the way to the bottom, past the ones PC has, and then under the URL space (where you can enter the URL for one you might have loaded somewhere else, like photobucket), there's a button that says, "Choose File". Click it and it should let you browse your computer for an appropriate image. I do think you have to have it at the appropriate size though (85 pixels by 85 pixels) - I don't know if it'll resize it for you.

I'll try again later from my work computer... It uses Windows. I tried from my laptop which is a Mac and I was not able to get the browse button to bring anything up.

Rant ahead, sorry!!

Dear boss,

Respectfully speaking you are the most self-centered and uncaring person I've ever had the displeasure to work for.

On November 20 (happy birthday to me) I had the MRI and visit with the surgeon, who wanted to operate the next week. You and I discussed this in detail and I postponed the surgery so our office would have adequate holiday coverage. This should come as no surprise to you.

However why did you strongly advise me to work the rest of the week because going into LWOP status is "frowned upon" by upper management?

I have sufficient hours of leave to cover my absence. I am cognizant of our unwritten policy and frankly I'll be glad to come to work forked-up on pain meds if that would suit upper management.

I did compromise and will attempt to return Thursday but if I can't they will have to get over themselves.

Why can't I just walk away from this crap?

I'm sorry granite. Sending good thoughts your way.

thanks art I hope your night is going ok

Hey Granite... You still worried about T tomorrow?

I don't know in reference to the white wash abuse thing seems like an okay answer... I mean just because at certain times it may be easier for us to have things be a certain way even if it's not logical doesn't mean our minds don't think it... If I remember what you wrote about last appt... I think one way to interpret that question is that she wants you to think about it...not that there is a right answer...

Remember sometimes when people would talk about their T saying what would you say to a friend in that situation (or whatever we talk about) would you tell your friend what you tell yourself... I would always say I have different rules for myself but I knew the intent was to really make myself think logically about some of the terribly illogical stuff I tell myself... Maybe that's what she is doing?

I just don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. a lot of times she has no idea what we talked about the session before and it has been 2 weeks .maybe she wont remember

A good therapist has a good memory.

Sigh. Got triggered bad. Ended up on the phone with the 24/7 help line.

I'm constantly amazed at things my t pulls out of our past sessions. Just recently she said "use that stubbornness that you had when you were learning how to ride a bike and refused to stop until you did it." It had been ages since I told her that story, and she remembered it. I have a great memory too the only problem is that it works against me instead of for me - I remember crap I wish I didn't, and can't remember stuff I need to remember. Oh, and song lyrics. I remember song lyrics. I am very off track now. Can't remember what I was... oh yeah... therapists need to have a good memory.

Off to work now couchies, hope everyone has a good day. And sending extra good thoughts to those with t today.

Yeah, my T has a pretty good memory as well - he's forgotten important things I've told thim, a couple of times, but most of the time he keeps very good track of what I tell him. He sometimes reminds me of things I've forgotten, even. But I know that he devotes a lot of time to going through his notes every week. He puts in at least two hours' work, including reading up on new research related to our work, for every hour I'm there... and he does the inbetween work even when I have to cancel (which is one reason why I don't find it unreasonable that I have to pay for cancelled sessions.)

I sometimes think what you remember happening and what she remembers happening are not quite the same thing. You perceive events in your therapy often under a great deal of projection and stress related to how you interacted with your family, and it seems to skew your perception somewhat. So, what you may see as her not remembering what went on in the last session may be more about her not having experienced the discussion or session through that same emotional lense as you rather than her actually forgetting.

What you may need to do is say this is what I heard and experienced in our session last time. Is what I remember/experienced accurate or is what I am remembering a bit off because I was upset/angry/scared/dissociated (whatever goes in that blank)? Personally, I found that many times when I left a session really upset in some way, how I remembered things emotionally and how my T recalled things objectively were very different perceptions of the same events. Neither is necessarily "wrong", but a T isn't inside our bodies and minds and emotions; they are seeing things as an outside observer and making evaluations through their professional/therapeutic eye.

It's also true that sometimes what we focus in on as important to us (probably because it somehow triggered us) may not have been nearly as "important" or significant to the therapist, particularly if they are unaware that we were triggered by what they said in some way. That is why it is so important when we can to let them know in the moment what our reactions are to what they say. They may not at all be thinking what they think they are thinking or even meaning what we think they are meaning. Asking for clarification and communicating our responses to what is going on in the moment can mimimize undue stress that way.