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  #651  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 05:16 PM
Anonymous37844
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5 days to go, 5 days to go. Can I wait? yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, .......um no.
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  #652  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 05:27 PM
Anonymous200320
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Thanks, all. I appreciate your support, very much. It has been a weird day, and now it's bedtime. Fortunately I never had to go into work (I could do stuff from home, not that I got much done) and H came home very late.
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unaluna
  #653  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 05:35 PM
Anonymous37844
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I have done the back to school shopping for the ;last 9 years, why can't he do it? Now I have go to him like a serf with cap in had tugging my forelock, just for the money for stationery supplies. I so hate him...
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  #654  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 06:54 PM
JustShakey's Avatar
JustShakey JustShakey is offline
WON'T!!!
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,576
That sucks BPA.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
  #655  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 07:00 PM
JustShakey's Avatar
JustShakey JustShakey is offline
WON'T!!!
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,576
So I emailed my T because therapy made me feel like I had the flu today and I felt like complaining about it. Waaay out of character. I never email my T without a good reason... I've been feeling downright strange since Christmas. 2015 is setting up to be a weird year...

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__________________
'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
  #656  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 07:46 PM
Anonymous100300
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So proud of myself... Conquered my phone fear... Okay so it was just leaving a voice mail but that's still something...

I called my T to tell her I quit therapy in addition to the letter I sent. Just in case she doesn't get the letter 24 hours prior to the next appointment. Now I don't have to worry whether she received it in time.
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Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #657  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 08:28 PM
Anonymous43207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Readytostop View Post
So proud of myself... Conquered my phone fear... Okay so it was just leaving a voice mail but that's still something...

I called my T to tell her I quit therapy in addition to the letter I sent. Just in case she doesn't get the letter 24 hours prior to the next appointment. Now I don't have to worry whether she received it in time.
Well done conquering the phone fear. I've been doing phone sessions with my t for over 2 years, and I still to this day chant in my head "Please be voice mail, please be voice mail" when I have to call her between sessions for scheduling or something. Like yesterday. And she answered, so I was all deer-in-the-headlights for a couple seconds!
  #658  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 08:40 PM
Anonymous37917
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RTS, you have come such a long way since I first met you on here! You rock.
Thanks for this!
granite1
  #659  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 08:44 PM
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catonyx catonyx is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,780
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustShakey View Post
So I emailed my T because therapy made me feel like I had the flu today and I felt like complaining about it. Waaay out of character. I never email my T without a good reason... I've been feeling downright strange since Christmas. 2015 is setting up to be a weird year...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sorry you were feeling lousy. Are you feeling better now?

This year is shaping up to be messed up for me too. Sigh.
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Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore.
  #660  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 08:49 PM
Anonymous37917
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T asked for permission today to push me a bit. I have been having some wicked flashbacks, and cannot remember some of them right after they happen. But I am left shaking uncontrollably and covered in sweat. Anyway, he asked for permission at one point to push and when I semi-nodded, semi-shrugged, he told me what he thought the logical conclusion was of the flashbacks I can remember. I promptly pulled my knees up to my chest, buried my face in my arms and a pillow and chanted NONONONO at him. sigh. I remember when I actually had some dignity. Then there is a big blank spot in my memory followed by an awareness that T was touching me and talking really earnestly to me about ... something. We had talked in the past about what helps me when I am dissociating so he was aware that him touching me is helpful to me when I am dissociating. I am just ... disgusted/embarrassed/frustrated with myself. I really thought I had things more under control than this.
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  #661  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 08:58 PM
Anonymous37917
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It does seem like there has been a pattern of her just not quite hitting the mark.
  #662  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 09:00 PM
Anonymous100300
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MKAC.

Sorry you felt so out of control... Doubt anyone else would see it that way...think your T knew it would happen but introducing their interpretations is a one time "smack in the face" sort of thing... Now you can process it slowly at your speed..maybe?
  #663  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 09:09 PM
Anonymous37917
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It is a pretty obvious conclusion but one I am resistant to. I am pretty convinced that not even my mother is that horrible and the flashbacks are just weird lies or some attention whoring thing my brain has invented.
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  #664  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 09:14 PM
Anonymous100300
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Perhaps talking about what it would mean if it were true would be a helpful conversation... YT used that line of conversation to help me look at a conclusion I was resistant to.
  #665  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 09:37 PM
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pbutton pbutton is offline
Oh noes!
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: in a house
Posts: 4,485
Ready, I miss YT. He was awesome. Let's find YT2.
  #666  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 09:43 PM
Anonymous37917
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton View Post
Ready, I miss YT. He was awesome. Let's find YT2.
ditto. Is it weird to miss other people's T's? I bet Stopdog will say it is. lol.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, pbutton, unaluna
  #667  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 09:50 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 42,209
Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
ditto. Is it weird to miss other people's T's? I bet Stopdog will say it is. lol.
Can i miss fake ts? Tonight i saw the rerun of Law and Order Criminal Intent where F Murray Abraham plays Jeff Goldblum's t-dad. It was great.

I want cookies.

Last edited by unaluna; Jan 13, 2015 at 11:22 PM.
  #668  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 11:33 PM
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catonyx catonyx is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,780
Oreos are tasty.

I feel so all over the place. My moods are just back and forth. One day I'm hitting rock bottom and the next I am feeling pretty content... Then the next I might be sad or anxious... Then maybe feeling optimistic... Then scared and at rock bottom. I'm all over the map! What's up with that?
__________________
Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore.
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  #669  
Old Jan 13, 2015, 11:47 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
Is it weird to miss other people's T's? I bet Stopdog will say it is. lol.
I would not even miss the ones I see.
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Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  #670  
Old Jan 14, 2015, 12:08 AM
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pbutton pbutton is offline
Oh noes!
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: in a house
Posts: 4,485
My therapy goal for next week is to purposely develop romantic transference for Stopdog's T.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, unaluna
  #671  
Old Jan 14, 2015, 12:11 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,154
Ack.
The first one is sort of dr. ruth - like in appearance (no accent and not so focused on sex) and the second is taller non-jewish dr. ruth like (without the accent or the sex focus either). Ack.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, pbutton
  #672  
Old Jan 14, 2015, 12:13 AM
pbutton's Avatar
pbutton pbutton is offline
Oh noes!
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: in a house
Posts: 4,485
Sounds hot.

Wait until i tell my own t what I worked on this week.
Thanks for this!
JustShakey
  #673  
Old Jan 14, 2015, 07:17 AM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
I am just ... disgusted/embarrassed/frustrated with myself. I really thought I had things more under control than this.
Having things under control is your main defence. A powerful defence it is, too. That's how you can function so well in spite of the pain.

But it can also be a barrier to healing. The wound can fester under the cast. The cast must come off so the wound can be cleaned and drained.

Thinks: If Madame T could only put things so clearly she might have got further with me. Instead she just cut into the cast with no explanation.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
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unaluna
Thanks for this!
JustShakey, pbutton
  #674  
Old Jan 14, 2015, 07:20 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
It does seem like there has been a pattern of her just not quite hitting the mark.
Who is the "she" in this sentence?
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Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
  #675  
Old Jan 14, 2015, 08:02 AM
Anonymous37917
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
Who is the "she" in this sentence?
the therapist Ready had been seeing.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
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