Couch 83: In a world where...

I want to kick my T in the shins just to see if I can do it.....

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust

RTS –did you get rid of the therapist?

Yes. We had 2 sessions in a row where I thought I could get something out of it but I am incapable of talking to her about lots of stuff that I need to get out of my head... She just isn't the right person.

I sent a letter saying I was finished with therapy.

How can you tell when you're mentally going under? I only know and can recognise how unwell I was after I get back from the brink. When I'm in it, I don't see it. How do you know?

I always see it. I might not be able to see the exact degree of severity until later when I compare it to another troubling time. For example, in December I thought I hit rock bottom in one aspect... However after last night, I think now maybe I've hit rock bottom. I won't know which is worse until later.

That's just me though. I hope someone else has a better answer.

My t and I discussed it once, and we both agree that when I'm deep in it I don't see it - at all. I look back and think 'woah, I was so unwell - how come I can't recognise it!'

Good for you for taking care of you.

I tend to lose the colors in the world. Everything seems kind of gray and 'eh.' Also, things I love seem like too much effort, like horse back riding. The biggest problem for me is to be able to reach for help when the slipping is happening. When I feel like that, I don't think anyone really wants to talk to me or I think I shouldn't bother other people with my junk.

I know I've been a bit of a jerk here of late, but I really need some virtual remote support right now. I'm going through a tough time and I have nobody to turn to, other than my T, and I've already seen him today. I dissociated in session which has never happened before, and have pretty much been in a semi-dissociated state since. I know I have to deal with life alone, I could just use some good thoughts or virtual hugs.

Mastodon, sorry you are having a hard time. Dissociating can really be disconcerting, but hopefully the aftermath won't hang in there too terribly long. Thinking of you.

I haven't noticed you being a jerk on here. I've wondered whether I am at times. I'm sending you a googol hugs.

Mastodon, sending you virtual hugs and good thoughts!!!

(And I also don't think you've been a jerk on here.)

(((Mastodon)))

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I dare you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

(((Mast))) ditto and this is the new and improved hankster speaking, i hope!

Mast - I hope it gets better for you soon.

Virtual for my fave flightless mammoth.

((MKAC))

That was a brave thing to do. I hope it will be worth it in the long run.

((Mastodon))

Hi Sally!

we just got a new electric pressure cooker and hubby wants to try eggs you will have to let me know how it turns out

or spontaneous interpretive dance. Take your pick. (this is sincere, no sarcasm here, or over there)

I don't know wy I said that. It just came out and I'm all over it like a rash.

They were just fine - they did not explode all over the pressure cooker which was, for some odd reason, a concern I had. The sous vide eggs seemed to taste better than any soft boiled egg I have ever had - but the pressure cooker ones were great too.

I made excellent scrambled eggs this morning. I love grapeseed oil. And truffle salt.