Being the emotional leech that I am, I often wonder if my T thinks about me outside of the session.

On Friday he said, "You know, after you left on Tuesday, I could tell you were very angry and I was wondering how that was going to resonate once you got outside of here."

I didn't even care what he said, ha ha... all I was thinking was: ooohhhh, he thought of me after I left....

One time he quoted a writer, saying that when he read it, it reminded him of me.

I'm sure our T's think of us outside of session. After all, I'm going to be a T and I know I will think of my clients. I work in the mental health field now as an intake counselor, and I think of clients outside of work.

But still...

I would never ask him.

But I am dying to know.

[SecretGarden]

Of course my T thinks of me outside of the session.... and more than rest of his patients... cause I am his favorite...

haha... just kidding.

I think mine does from time to time but I also know that mine tries to keep his boundaries rather strict... no messages over a minute long... lalalalalala...

I hope he is thinking of me as I think as a responsible T he should be working on me too. lol.... I suppose I feel I give him homework too in some shape or forms.

[lauren_helene]

Yes Pink, I think they do.

My T indicated once that I wasn't alone in losing sleep over my abuse recount when I was 7 years old because as he put it "you're not the only one, I've been thinking about this too" and he focused on a statement that this boy made about me when I was leaving this awful neighbors house...he said "I always knew you were a bad girl"...

Another time, when I had a bad phone call with my dad, he said "I've been thinking a lot about your situation and...."

Both times, I wanted to give him the biggest hug...

So, I know what you mean!

[SecretGarden]

okay.... My pdoc told me that he thought of me when he was listening to a song on the radio by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. I went and bought the CD pronto. I like her and so have just bought her newest. She touches me...but perhaps a bit more as my special T connected us.

sigh... made me feel like he cares and is working to understand my journey.

My T says would it help me to know she "holds me in mind" when I'm not there? I replied, "yes" but I wanted then to say but how often do you hold me in mind? and can you tell me the precise minute, and can you ring me and tell me your missing me desperately LOL! but I settled for her "holding me in mind"

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mouse_ said:
My T says would it help me to know she "holds me in mind" when I'm not there? I replied, "yes" but I wanted then to say but how often do you hold me in mind? and can you tell me the precise minute, and can you ring me and tell me your missing me desperately LOL! but I settled for her "holding me in mind"

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Mouse!! You just cracked me up. Thank you. I needed that.

[DePressMe]

I know my T thinks of me outside of session. She even said she was going to read my blog. I find it amazing that she would spend her time getting to know me better.

She has a collection of glass art in her office, so I made her a piece...she says people comment on it all the time.

She gave me a really incredible rock to carry with me so I would have a piece of her with me all the time.

I think my T. rocks.

[SecretGarden]

Mouse... you made me roar...lol....

DePress.... you touched me.... It is nice to have such a special connection. I am pleased for you. This connection will last beyond your years together. I just know...

mouse, I love your candor!

i wish i could be so honest with myself!



ECHOES

[sunrise]

LOL, mouse, loved your answer! So true, so true.

Once in a blue moon, T will say something to me that indicates he has thought of me outside of our session. It always warms my heart and then it takes me a while before I can recover and even hear what he is saying next. Last time, he asked me to sign a release form that gives him permission to discuss my case with another professional. I kind of liked that, because he will be thinking of me and spending significant time outside of our session in order to help me. That really made me feel good.

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sunrise said:
Last time, he asked me to sign a release form that gives him permission to discuss my case with another professional. I kind of liked that, because he will be thinking of me and spending significant time outside of our session in order to help me. That really made me feel good.

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Ohhhhh yeah, that reminded me that my T talks about me to my pdoc because I hate talking to my pdoc. Would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation, lol...

I was wondering with this.. I tend to think about this allot!! Do you think this could start to be negative? I guess what I mean is that I have even googled my T's name on the internet. I want to be close to her and know what she studies or interested in. Do you think the desire to have my T think about me after sessions is healthy or should i try to remember I am just part of her job? Is it me she likes or is making people feel good a skill that I am just benefiting from? Sorry to be so negative

It gives me some satisfaction to know that my T is obviously thinking of me when he talks about me to my pdoc, but that's just part of his job... what I really want is..... for it to be, like, the middle of a Sunday afternoon or something, and all of a sudden, the thought of me pops into his head. In a good way though. Or at least an interesting way. Yes, that's it. I want to be interesting to him.

[SecretGarden]

leaving to google my therapist's name.....

I know this is confidential and it is a breach of confidentiality but my first pdoc really was my hero in so many ways and thus I loved him so. He was sick during and increasingly so after I saw him and actually we loosely kept in touch, even got together for dinner/lunch...seldom. . I would look him up in my hospital system to see when he was admitted and discharged. I did nothing with it...but it touched my heart.

That is bad.... but it was my way to keep connected and in the loop and out of the way.

I know it was a totally wrong thing to do... I have not really admitted to it to many (so here you have it) but did admit it to him.

That ... provides guilt to this day really... even though he died five or more years ago. He seemed o.k. with it. I suppose he was pleased that I kept in touch...I think.. Special was I .....or I hoped so. Oh well...

[sunrise]

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pinksoil said:
It gives me some satisfaction to know that my T is obviously thinking of me when he talks about me to my pdoc, but that's just part of his job...

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For me, the fact that my T asked my permission for him to contact my lawyer was huge. I don't consider it part of his job, and I wonder if a lot of T's would even do that. It just warmed my heart and made me feel like T was so much "in my corner" and would do whatever it took to help me.

[lauren_helene]

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SecretGarden said:

I know this is confidential and it is a breach of confidentiality but my first pdoc really was my hero in so many ways and thus I loved him so. He was sick during and increasingly so after I saw him and actually we loosely kept in touch, even got together for dinner/lunch...seldom. .

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I'm glad you got the opportunity to be there for him. I'm also glad he let you in that much. What is the confidentiality breach? You should just feel good that you were able to show him that you care before he died.

That is huge in my book. See, I think that clients and therapists can see each other outside of the "session" and it's handled maturly by two adults. It's a shame that it is so discouraged. It really can be ultimate healing I think...

[SecretGarden]

Thank you so much for that post Almeda. I needed it today. I actually found him in a nursing home before he died and told him I wanted to visit. He seemed pleased to hear from me and I was to see him when he was a bit stronger.

Anyhow... that alone makes me feel better..that I found him before the end.

I did not see him til after our therapy time ended but he knew that by his actions... there was a huge amount of healing to my life. It was symbolic..of many things I lacked. I will leave it at that. Thanks.

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sunrise said:
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pinksoil said:
It gives me some satisfaction to know that my T is obviously thinking of me when he talks about me to my pdoc, but that's just part of his job...

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For me, the fact that my T asked my permission for him to contact my lawyer was huge. I don't consider it part of his job, and I wonder if a lot of T's would even do that. It just warmed my heart and made me feel like T was so much "in my corner" and would do whatever it took to help me.

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I never thought of it that way before, Sunny. Thanks. My T was 'in my corner' as well because he knows I have serious problems when it comes to talking with psychiatrists. He spoke with my pdoc because he knew it would help me. He didn't have to do that.

I guess I was going to the extreme and hoping that my T was on some unknown internet site called TherapistCentral and he has been spending his weekends compiling posts about how I am the most amazing, interesting client he has ever had, and trying to work through his countertransference and attachment issues towards me.

haahahahahahhaahha, you will all have to forgive me, I have been stuck inside for the entire weekend, working on my oral presentation and final paper for tomorrow night's class. I am losing my marrrrrbles and still have a few pages to go.

[SecretGarden]

I know that when my therapist goes to some meeting... I say... "Learn something to help treat me." I have also told him that I would welcome him talking to other professionals about me if it would help him treat me.... but...hmmmm no release that I recall.

Gee the one time I do not mind being talked about behind my back... Pulease...

I would understand Sunrise and Pinksoil what you are saying... a good thing.. warming really.

[Lemon]

I have heard it is an issue for therapists early in their careers that that sort-of take all their patients home with them and think about how to help them outside of their work hours. Later on the good T's learn how to set limits so that they don't burn out. I'm thinking it is probably impossible for most people/T's to completely forget about their clients completely when their not at work, but I think they try to learn to compartmentalize. It's just like us learning how not to take our work home with us.

I admit I'm a googler too! I looked up my T after our very first session. I read some published articles her work is quoted in. I've never told her, but I learned what some of her past reasearch is on so I know a few things that she is specifically interested in. Her past research wasn't on something that is my particular issue and I admit that kind-of bummed me out. I want to be highly interesting to her so that she wants to spend lots of time with me and write a book about what an interesting case I am! Ha Ha

DePressMe I think your T rocks too! That is so cool that she gave you something to feel connected to her when you're apart. What a nice thing to do! I love that.

ECHOES

[sidony]

Oh I think therapists do think about their clients... One of my best friends in real life is a psychologist, and she certainly thinks about hers. I know because she talks about them! Not in a way that would reveal their identities, but when she and I are talking about work she'll tell me about interesting cases she has and clients that she likes, etc. But she clearly has balance. When we're out to dinner together, we're talking much more about our own relationships (hers, mine, our mutual friends, etc.). But she definitely talks about her clients. She says it was her "calling" in life to be a therapist and that she'd wanted to since she was a teenager. I like that about her and suspect she is a good one. She says that in therapy you learn to be as "present" as possible in a session so that you don't obsess over your clients when they're gone. She says if she's spending a lot of time thinking about any one particular client after hours, then she'll try to figure out what about that person's story is affecting her so much and what it means about her. Interesting stuff. It's must be such a fascinating line of work. She has her own therapist too to talk about all her issues. :-)

Pinksoil, there's no doubt in my mind that your therapist thinks about you. Especially after that last session! You should go in on crutches next week complaining about his stairs.

Sidony

sidony, what a great idea!



ECHOES

[lauren_helene]

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sidony said:
Oh I think therapists do think about their clients... One of my best friends in real life is a psychologist, and she certainly thinks about hers. I know because she talks about them! Not in a way that would reveal their identities, but when she and I are talking about work she'll tell me about interesting cases she has and clients that she likes, etc.
Sidony

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I'm laughing here at what my therapist must say about me to others in his life...the interesting comment here too is discussing the ones she likes...I hope I am one that he likes, I'm sure we all do!

i don't think he thinks about me. 'cause i said i was worried about him burning our ('cause other people have burned out with me) and then he was like 'i live a busy and varied life' and i felt like my place in that was very insignificant indeed. and of course he can't win. but he does keep going about what a busy and varied life he has.

far too busy to spend time thinking of me. of course.

:-(