My T Left Me...Part 2

Well, generally, because they don't experience themselves as scary. I doubt your T expects it to take away all your fears, but it's a fairly standard soothing response. I guess it's a way to try and start to put you at ease.

I'm surprised they asked for a license plate number, I've never seen that question on an intake form. I think you could leave it blank since I can't imagine what purpose it serves. It could be for a crisis situation like you said, I suppose.

Lol...well I brought up my secret, you said it wasn't an invisible elephant, I said it's pink and ugly, and now you want me to put stickers on it I think we got lost in metaphors. My secret is very taboo. Some people here already know it (and I respectfully ask that it not be posted about). Very few people irl life know about it and none know the details (not like anyone would want to anyways). I was just having a hard time trying to make the elephant in the metaphor be ugly...because I think elephants are cute

I am trying to stay positive about this new T. It's difficult though with all my thoughts and feelings about ex-T being so fresh. Even writing ex-T feels horrible. But I can either go forward or quit. I can choose to quit at any point of my journey, so might as well try going forward and seeing what happens. It's a very sad perspective with a hint of optimism

Scarlet - I find Ts scary too.... and am really surprised that they don't believe or understand that! Crazy, isn't it? I think I've only had one T that actually *got* it, and said to me, "You seem to be terrified right now, though I don't know what you're scared of!" Ha - YOU T! You are SCARY!

Hopefully she gets less scary as you get to know her better! I don't know what to say about the religious stuff, as I'm not religious either... so you know && that she behaves appropriately by not going nutty on you!

Kraken! Aha! A thumb squeeze in its own hand! Delightful! Thanks for sharing that, I had never heard of it - how cool! I'd definitely recommend the "@" sign for that! It's *perfect* isn't it? With the "a" inside looking like a thumb, all squeezed in the circle?

I'm feeling like I must have missed some sort of a calling here... but for the life of me, I can't figure out how to map random characters to physical symbols across cultures could possibly translate to a career path

Edit: Is it weird that the thumb squeeze thing immediately think of jelly doughnuts (which I have not eaten in *decades*!? You know, the thumb is like a puddle of jelly, the hand is the doughnut, and where the thumb attaches to the hand is that hole where the jelly always wants to escape when you bite into it? Maybe my brain is just being crazy today!

I think elephants are cute as well . But I also have a spider as a pet and think it's pretty cute... So maybe I'm a bit weird

But I'm sorry, I didn't want to trivialize your experience. So in case it came across that way, I want to apologize.

Hugs!

...another example of questions on the form:
*my birth weight
*if my delivery was normal or complicated or c-section
*sexual history

Just a ton of information. I thought I was all cute and smart handing her a bunch of information I compiled on my own. But, no... They want 5x more information.

I think whoever made these forms was big into research. It really seems like it's an extensive questionnaire for a experiment/study.

But at least she said I only have to fill out what I want to.

I don't like spiders, but I had pet rats and mice growing up.

And when I played wow for 6 years, my character had a spider for a pet.

I didn't feel like you trivialized anything. No need to apologize.

I've had them ask this question about my *own* deliveries for my kids. Partly because women can and do have traumatic births (my last one was traumatic for me).

Idk. I know they asked a boatload of questions at my clinic and I opted not to answer certain sections because I didn't want to (like they asked detailed questions regarding things like self-pleasure! I was like. Uh. Not relevant.) My T hates paperwork so I didn't fill one out for him, it was for seeing another provider in the building LOL.

This is possibly not helpful, but, I do wonder why on earth there are so many therapists running around who don't seem to have the first understanding of basic human dynamics.

I think it is natural for anyone to be scared of a therapist. Let's face it, they generally dig up a bunch of awful stuff and as a result you feel horrible a lot of the time. They also become players in a lopsided relationship in which one party is emotionally invested a lot more than the other. They work with people who have been hurt before in a capacity which allows them to inflict more pain if they mess up.

There are several, very different, very valid reasons why someone should be scared of a therapist and I feel like any therapist that doesn't understand that.... is a few tools short of a toolbox.

I'm in a profession that scares people sometimes, and I often say the same thing to people who admit to being nervous, though sometimes I ask them what it is that's making them nervous to see if there's something I can do to make them more comfortable. But being on the other side of that, the best way I alleviate fears is to move forward and let them experience me as not all that scary as we work together, and as they see I keep my word and good things come of working with me. Sometimes trying too hard to reassure people can just make things worse.

But I empathize as well, as I'm terrified of all medical personnel of any stripe. You're brave for doing what you're doing. I'm so glad that you seem to be getting along well so far. I hope you'll work well together.

As for the birth related questions, low birth weight can be a predictor of certain issues later in life.

I am of the opinion that a form has no authority over me- I just don't answer the parts I don't want to.

A lot of the questions I don't mind per se. They're just odd.

I will not be answering the questions about my car, that's for sure.

But it's odd...all this information that could help them understand why I am the way I am, but no questions about menstrual cycle. I would think that's an important question for women to see if they have PMDD or postpartum. Hormones are a huge factor for moods. What about questions for SAD? I guess since I live in San Diego, SAD is rare. But for agoraphobic people I bet it's not.

I'm so glad it went well and the T sounds good. Promising at least!
I think it's normal to be nervous. It is for me anyway. Even after years of seeing the same T, I would always be nervous until I sat down in her office. Then things would be OK and I would be comfortable enough to talk.
Here's to the weekend! I hope everyone has something fun to do!
&&@@ - can I use those??

Do people generally even know how much they weighed at birth? I don't and it never occurred to me to ask.

For a lot of those questions, my question for any of them is, how does the answer to this affect my treatment? I've been seeing my current therapist for a couple months, a major issue for me is the emotional effect of learning disabilities that weren't diagnosed until after 40 y.o., and today is the first time I indicated to him I have a copy of my tests. I wanted him to know me as a person before he saw my numbers.

I wonder how many of those questions actually get used in treatment planning.

My first appointment with this therapist I walked and walked before the appointment and know I looked terrified in the waiting room. Now, my appointment is at 2 and I don't do anything non-rote beforehand and usually afterward except post therapy journaling.

You have a full day Thursdays. I don't think I could do all that the same day.

I really hate long, involved, overly-personal intake forms. Yuck. And, I agree, stuff like your birth weight? Who has that memorized?

My old T (the one who kicked me out!) asked me during an initial session if my mom had breastfed me! Oh for the love of... it's not like I *remember*. And, really - *does* it affect my treatment? Is he going to say, "OK, well, then you're *definitely* depressed... you know, had your mom not given you a bottle, you'd probably be a lot happier now!"

Pretty useless.

Stuff like your s*xual history, oh geez, just no, please. Given I can't even type out the word, there's nothing that I'm willing to put on a form and hand over to someone that I just met 30 minutes ago. Yikes. Just no, no, and wait for it... no!

I'm glad she told you to just fill out what you're comfortable with... even if she didn't, that's what *I* would have told you to do!

((((Nervous Puppy)))) If you started used && and @@ - it would bring so much joy to my sad little life, that I just might not be able to handle it! Heehee, seriously, I might have to make loud squeals of excitement and happiness that are practically never heard coming from my home!

&& = good luck, fingers crossed!

@@ = good luck, thumb tucked (the way they do in Germany!)

If you go to the full reply (rather than the quick reply) you can highlight your symbols of choice and make them big and change the color, if you want to get fancy. But, it's not necessary at all. Says me. (I'm on a bit of a sugar rush from some chocolate, so forgive my boldness here! )

Hope you, and Scarlett, and everyone have a good weekend too. Nothing planned here.. just going to try to detox from this week's over-reliance on sugar, and clean the house. Be still my beating heart.

I know my birth weight: 7lbs 10oz I also know the time of my birth... I also know I was breastfeed along with supplemental sugar water (I have no clue why the sugar water). And I know my mom smoked and drank during pregnancy...

I understand about wanting a person to get to know you before revealing information that people might judge you for. It's why I don't want to give consent for my new T to have my ex-T's records. I don't know what she wrote, if she changed things, if she kept her promise to keep certain things out of my file. I know it will be pointless for new T to have my files at a later date because she'll already be caught up by then, but I really can't risk it when I don't know what's in there.

Yeah. I only have 7 more weeks left with county DBT. Then I'll start new DBT group which will be Tuesday mornings (I think). I hate that I'll have to drive down there twice, but I also prefer to have my support spread out over the week. It's like I'm recharging my support "battery"

My weekend is chaotic. I have to wake up tomorrow at 6:30am to go to see my primary. Later that afternoon my mom wants to go see a movie...if I'm still awake. And I hate movie theaters... Sunday I think is free. But Monday morning at 4am, I'm calling the counselor at the crisis house...

And people wonder why my sleep schedule gets messed up

I hope you all have a great weekend too. I think this will be a good weekend for me.

Thank you all for all your support through this. I think I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

i'm so glad you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, because there IS one, and it's waiting for all of us. you deserve some sunshine SP during what has been such a dark and distressing time.

Normally, I like it when people show concern. It shows me they care on some level. But today my primary told me she's not worried about me, that I'm strong, and will be fine. At first, it kind of hurt me. But for some reason, I actually like that she's not concerned...about any of my issues. I'm so used to being pushed to do more, be better, etc. And my primary, she accepts me exactly where I'm at and believes in me that when I'm ready to make changes I will.

But yeah, I know I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing health wise. Got my blood drawn, and dread the results. But I did ask to be referred to a diabetic nutritionist, so that will help. She checked my cut and said it's healing and not infected. I told her I don't want it to heal. She laughed and said it's going to heal no matter what I do/don't do to it. She has a point. My weight...ugh. I've gained back pretty much all the weight I lost last year. Frustrating, but not a surprise. But I'm alive and healthy enough to not need any type of intervention so... And she's not worried about me! Lol

Back to bed I go. Way too early to begin the day

Oh, forgot to add: my Pdoc is coming back from maternity leave in 2 months. Funny how I was so worried about losing a connection to her while she was gone. I'm so excited to see her again. Losing my T put my relationship with my Pdoc into perspective. I'd rather have her in my life and deal with feeling comfortable again than not have her at all. Hopefully she's not mad about me about my T. I'm worried she will think I'm too severe because my T left. Though, on the other hand, I don't think my Pdoc was too happy with the type of therapy my T was providing. I guess I'll find out in 2 month.

sounds like things are moving! don't worry too much about weight; it's so much more important that you're sane and still with us.

I'm very much still here.

The weight! You and me both. Kinda crept up when my back was turned. Ah well, just one of the juggling balls in health maintenance.

Sounds like you're getting your life back, or, better, taking it back. Yay!