Should A Therapist Be Able To State Specifics?

No - they have a lot of theories but they are not consistent and even they themselves call it an "art"

Unfortunately, the equivalent of 'going with the flow' for a dentist, would be a dentist just sort of nodding at your teeth and then telling you that while he doesn't necessarily know how to fix anything about teeth, he does understand that you think they are sore, and he's very interested in the fact that they are sore, and maybe they're sore because when you were five someone gave you too much candy. And if you ask him if he knows how to fix sore teeth he says he can't tell you precisely how he could fix sore teeth, but if you just come back every week, he'll give it a good go.

And you're right, obviously if I don't like the service, I'm free to leave. But that's not the point, is it? I took on this service in good faith. I've sunk cold hard cash into it, and for what... nothing.

It does seem an awful lot though like this forum is dedicated to people who aren't getting any service. (Because the service being sold is intangible, and ephemeral and can in no way be stated directly.)

I've not been precisely pleased with my foray into therapy. I've found it undirected, fairly wishywashy and mostly involving me rambling without a point.

I reached out to my therapist and asked what the therapist thought they could help me with in a concrete way. ie, what is it that the therapist thought therapy could do for me, specifically?

In response, I was told that therapy is confusing and often seemingly without point and it was understood that I was upset, but that the therapist would be there if I wanted to work through my issues. And that the therapist did not think that they could make any kind of specific statement as to how they could help me, but that over time, therapy would help as I became a more whole person.

Is this actually acceptable in therapy? To say that stating specifics isn't an option, but if the patient wants to keep spending money, the therapist is going to "be there"?

This is tasting more and more and more like a sideshow scam. The therapist doesn't have to provide any actual plan of service, or make any comment on what they're actually offering to help me, they can just 'be there' and that's worth hundreds of dollars a month? Seriously? I feel like I just got robbed.

But the clarity of what therapist and client are doing at each given moment is paramount to reduce the risk of harm and to increase therapy effectiveness.

Sounds like a really obvious behavior modification program is the only modality you would approve of. Which is fine, if that is your choice. But there has to be a LOT of agreement between client and t, and my feeling is, if we clients were more agreeable, there is no shortage of regular people willing to tell us what to do to modify our behavior. But the science shows us its more complicated than that, when you look at stuff like reinforcement and resistance. From what you write, its like youre trying to redefine psychology or psychotherapy from the ground up, and i would wonder why - why you feel the need to, why you feel you are capable of doing so. Eta - i guess your username hints at that tho!.

There is TONS of science. Read a book. Google something.

I have no idea how in the world you made this conclusion from what I said but I don't feel any need to explain myself. Imagine what you want to imagine about me and my personal motives and have fun with it if you don't have better things to do. I am flattered though that you spent some time trying to analyze me Makes me feel important. Nice try.

Yabbut parents role is to civilize their children, so they are not selfish little monsters and can interact in the world. If we have to walk on eggshells around someone, isnt it because they are uncivil? A t fills that developmental gap. With loooooooove.

That's very generalized. Not every therapist has to feel developmental gap as not every client has that gap. People are in therapy for many different reasons.

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Idk. You could look at it as, we develop from the moment were born until we die. We see a t to help us cope with whatever the next step is. I dont understand how my being too general negatively affects this discussion. The thread topic was, should ts give specifics on what they are doing, and i was addressing that. ??

Idk. You could look at it as, we develop from the moment were born until we die. We see a t to help us cope with whatever the next step is. I dont understand how my being too general negatively affects this discussion. The thread topic was, should ts give specifics on what they are doing, and i was addressing that. ??

I just don't agree as to that being why I see a therapist or what I want in doing so.

So that raises the question - do you and your t have to be in agreement about how a client should be helped?

I think it just comes down to - you cant have your cake and eat it too. If you want a husband to pay your bills, then maybe you put up with a lot of bs. An aunt of mine, who i thought wasnt very smart and who was from the old country, said when i got divorced, "she doesnt have to put up with his bs because she has a good job." I was like, whoa! Its weird being alone, but its also weird living according to someone elses schedule, or compromising all the time. Idk. People are weird. I'll stick with books. Old books that were edited. Dead people are okay!

I will not be helped against my will.