[Camperniki]

I'm very depressed and axnious. I've been battling my depression for 13 years or so and I'm just tired but I don't think that therapy or anything else will help me. I've been out of my depression before only to get pulled back in and even if therapy helps now, I don't see it as helping when the next depressive episode comes along

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Camperniki

I'm very depressed and axnious. I've been battling my depression for 13 years or so and I'm just tired but I don't think that therapy or anything else will help me. I've been out of my depression before only to get pulled back in and even if therapy helps now, I don't see it as helping when the next depressive episode comes along

I think therapy works. When you are depressed, you feel alone and things are hard. With a therapist you have one hour where someone is totally focused on you and you can talk about whatever you want. If you find a really good T your whole life can change. I have learned so much in therapy, about myself, how to help people and how to make positive changes to make my life better. If I am having a hard time, a phone call from my T and her help is one of the best things ever. I am so blessed to have her in my life. I say give it a shot.

[Camperniki]

But what about when you've finished with your therapy and don't have go go anymore. Then what will you do when a depressive episode hits? I just can't see change happening let alone sticking for me

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[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Camperniki

But what about when you've finished with your therapy and don't have go go anymore. Then what will you do when a depressive episode hits? I just can't see change happening let alone sticking for me

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Therapy helps you get coping mechanisms so that you can handle it better. I have not finished therapy so I can't speak from experience. Try to just focus on whats happening right now and see if therapy helps you.

[Camperniki]

I just don't know how/can't see how it could be anything but a waste of the therapist's time

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[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Camperniki

I just don't know how/can't see how it could be anything but a waste of the therapist's time

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A therapist is there to help you. No one is a waste of there time. I had the same thoughts as you when I was deciding last year if I should go back to therapy. I made the best decision to go back. I told myself I needed the help and wanted to better my life.

I've dealt with depression most of my life. We've pegged my earliest depression at about 6 years old; I'm now 52. It has always been very much a constant for me. Therapy has helped me immensely, but it took many years of therapy to really internalize the coping skills I needed to manage the recurrent depressive episodes. I did get there though, and while I'm not depression-free and I doubt I ever will be, I do have better self-care and management skills so that my depressive episodes are not nearly as severe as they once were and they do not last nearly as long. I call that a victory. I've now gone well over a year without a severe depressive episode. The occasional times I have felt the depression coming on, I have been able to use the skills I have learned in therapy to be proactive and get through without the depression really taking hold. I could not have gotten to this place without therapy. It wasn't a quick fix though; it took me many years to get to this place, but it was well worth the work to get here.

[Camperniki]

I just wish I knew that any changes ghat actually get made would stick. I don't even think I deserve to be happy

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[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I've dealt with depression most of my life. We've pegged my earliest depression at about 6 years old; I'm now 52. It has always been very much a constant for me. Therapy has helped me immensely, but it took many years of therapy to really internalize the coping skills I needed to manage the recurrent depressive episodes. I did get there though, and while I'm not depression-free and I doubt I ever will be, I do have better self-care and management skills so that my depressive episodes are not nearly as severe as they once were and they do not last nearly as long. I call that a victory. I've now gone well over a year without a severe depressive episode. The occasional times I have felt the depression coming on, I have been able to use the skills I have learned in therapy to be proactive and get through without the depression really taking hold. I could not have gotten to this place without therapy. It wasn't a quick fix though; it took me many years to get to this place, but it was well worth the work to get here.

The idea of having to be in therapy for the rest of my life is terrifying and another reason I don't want to even start. I don't want the control in my life to go from my depression to my therapist

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[kiwi33]

In my experience highly focused therapeutic approaches (including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as mindfulness/meditation methods) can be highly effective in the hands of a skilled clinical psychologist.

Because they are highly focused they need effort from the client which is not always easy but my experience is that this effort is worthwhile.

Originally Posted by Camperniki

The idea of having to be in therapy for the rest of my life is terrifying and another reason I don't want to even start. I don't want the control in my life to go from my depression to my therapist

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I'm not quite sure what you mean. The control has always been mine as an adult, even if I didn't feel it. That is one of the things I had to learn and internalize. My therapist has never had the control over my life. He/they were there to help me learn how to assert my own control over my own life and my mood symptoms.

You sound very much like I used to feel. I felt like I would always be depressed. Nothing I could do about it. Nothing could ever improve. My depression was in control, not me. That's where the therapy helped me rethink my beliefs about myself and how powerless and hopeless I felt. Making that kind of change is hard work and takes time to internalize, but it can be done. The alternative is to stay right where you are. I wasn't okay staying that way anymore.

[Camperniki]

I've never been in control of my life. My point was that the therapist will take control from me instead of the control being in the hands of my depression. Also the thought that it's not up to me when it's over. It's not even really up to me to go

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[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Camperniki

I've never been in control of my life. My point was that the therapist will take control from me instead of the control being in the hands of my depression. Also the thought that it's not up to me when it's over. It's not even really up to me to go

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You are always in control in therapy. It is about you. Its your choice to go and your choice to end when you are ready.

I actually have more control over my life and depression then before therapy.

[Nammu]

My t helped me so much that PTSD isn't much of a problem anymore. She helped me learn how to get though the depressions and deal with the Siu thoughts. I learned how to deal with the irrational thoughts of mania. It took years but she was patient and hung in there with me. I still have bipolar but it's less of a problem in my life.

Originally Posted by Camperniki

I've never been in control of my life. My point was that the therapist will take control from me instead of the control being in the hands of my depression. Also the thought that it's not up to me when it's over. It's not even really up to me to go

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You are an adult and are in control of your life now. I understand where you are coming from; one thing I had to learn was while I had no control over what happened to me as a child, as an adult, I very much do. I learned that depression doesn't have to be in control of my life. I can be in control of the depression. And therapy is also in your control -- how long or whether to go or not. Unless you are court ordered into therapy, you have that control. Are you court ordered? Maybe I'm misunderstanding something?

[stopdog]

I don't believe it is possible to waste a therapist's time - they get paid. I do believe one can waste their own time and money - but that is a choice one gets to make. I never found cbt to be useful and I found it harmful and thought it treated clients like they were morons. But some have found it useful and if you haven't tried it, it could be worth a shot at least.

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

You are an adult and are in control of your life now. I understand where you are coming from; one thing I had to learn was while I had no control over what happened to me as a child, as an adult, I very much do. I learned that depression doesn't have to be in control of my life. I can be in control of the depression. And therapy is also in your control -- how long or whether to go or not. Unless you are court ordered into therapy, you have that control. Are you court ordered? Maybe I'm misunderstanding something?

Not this time. I just feel pressured from my ex and all my friends to go. I am very against it and don't think I will get anything out of it. I've been this way 1/2 my life and I don't see that as changing. But when I was 17 I was forced to go and she wasn't a good therapist for me so on top of not wanting to go, I've also had a bad experience with going. Even though it was nearly 10 years ago.

[stopdog]

Have you tried any alternatives like reiki, meditation, yoga, exercise, qi gong, sacral cranial work, acupuncture, etc? I find many of those very useful for me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I've found that the combination of therapy and medication have been helpful managing my depression. The meds help balance of the chemical imbalance and therapy teaches me coping skills.

You have to actually utilize therapy for it to work. Just showing up isn't enough...least not enough to combat the depression. There is no quick fix either. It takes time and effort. If you're not willing to invest in your mental health, then therapy won't work for you.

You also have to find a good T.

[stopdog]

Sometimes therapy does not help regardless how hard the client tries. I don't believe in blaming the client. In some cases, just showing up can be progress. It takes some people longer than others.

Originally Posted by Camperniki

Not this time. I just feel pressured from my ex and all my friends to go. I am very against it and don't think I will get anything out of it. I've been this way 1/2 my life and I don't see that as changing. But when I was 17 I was forced to go and she wasn't a good therapist for me so on top of not wanting to go, I've also had a bad experience with going. Even though it was nearly 10 years ago.

You do need to be ready to do the work and make the changes that therapy requires, and going only to pacify other people probably isn't going to work. If you don't want to go, that is certainly your choice, but hopefully down the road you'll find yourself in a spot where you are more open to the idea of therapy. In the meantime, I hope you can find some peace. Best of luck to you.

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Have you tried any alternatives like reiki, meditation, yoga, exercise, qi gong, sacral cranial work, acupuncture, etc? I find many of those very useful for me.

I've never tried meditation, acupuncture, or qi gong. I have a friend at work who sometimes does reiki and cranial sacral and it helps for a day. Then something will happen and I go back to feeling that depressed again. I tried yoga twice and got upset because it was so physically hard on me. I didn't manage to get anything out of it besides sore abs.

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I've found that the combination of therapy and medication have been helpful managing my depression. The meds help balance of the chemical imbalance and therapy teaches me coping skills.

You have to actually utilize therapy for it to work. Just showing up isn't enough...least not enough to combat the depression. There is no quick fix either. It takes time and effort. If you're not willing to invest in your mental health, then therapy won't work for you.

You also have to find a good T.

I'm very against medication, even if I were able to swallow pills. I tried a liquid version of prozac (I think it was) and all it did was suppress my appetite. And I have a friend who takes pills and it's so many everyday and once you get on the pills, you rely on them for the rest of your life. That honestly sounds worse to me than the depression.

I just think I'm too beyond help for it. I know I need it but I don't think I'd get anything out of it. And I don't want to be in it forever

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Sometimes therapy does not help regardless how hard the client tries. I don't believe in blaming the client. In some cases, just showing up can be progress. It takes some people longer than others.

That's what scares me the most. Is putting forth the effort and trying just to get nowhere. I don't think I could take that

[kiwi33]

I think that ScarletPimpernel has made an excellent point about medication and non-pharmaceutical approaches.

My psychiatrist and clinical psychologist (who work as a team) describe meds as "building a strong foundation".

Once that foundation is there then focused approaches, (like the CBT, ACT and mindfulness/meditation methods that I mentioned above), can be highly effective.