[musinglizzy]

I never really used to experience my T's other sessions "from the outside." Most times, no one is there when I get there (she leaves 10 minutes in between sessions, and I usually get there maybe a minute early), and due to my session time and other responsibilities in her life, there has NEVER been anyone after me.

But my son is now in therapy, with a man who works in the same suite. I liked him from the get-go, so when my son showed a desire in going to therapy, and I started noticing some bad attitudes/acting out, I consulted this guy about seeing my son, and also asked my T her thoughts on it.

My sessions are relatively quiet. Voices fairly quiet, no laughing or joking really.....quite boring, I'm sure. But now I hear other sessions. Not words, just voice volume, laughing, etc...like they're having fun in there. It makes me think of what a horrible bore I must be. I'm thankful she has sessions like that to "counteract" people like me, but jeez, it makes me feel bad. Not that I want that, just that I'm not fun like that. You know? Anyone else ever made notice of something similar?

I take my younger brother to his therapy.

Despite the radio in the waiting area and the closed door, while I sit as far away from his therapy room as possible, I can't help but hear repeated gusts of his laughter.

My own sessions are much more quiet, with no laughing.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

I take my younger brother to his therapy.

Despite the radio in the waiting area and the closed door, while I sit as far away from his therapy room as possible, I can't help but hear repeated gusts of his laughter.

My own sessions are much more quiet, with no laughing.

There is a radio playing in my T's waiting area also, which is small, so nowhere to "get away" from any noise. I do occasionally walk out into the hallway...

And hearing this, do you feel the way I do?

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

There is a radio playing in my T's waiting area also, which is small, so nowhere to "get away" from any noise. I do occasionally walk out into the hallway...

And hearing this, do you feel the way I do?

I do feel like you, that I'm boring. I think my T dreads me maybe.

I can't hear clients before / after me though I might see them because there's a hallway (my T works in a different clinic from my brother's T) but I also think she must find them more interesting clinically.

I hear my brother's laughter and am glad that he gets to laugh with others. He never laughs that way with me, ever, probably because I'm so serious and boring.

[CantExplain]

I'm sure Ts love their quiet patients just as much as their noisy ones.

I've never heard my t in another session, but I think I might be upset if I heard what you have heard.

[Myrto]

My T practices from home so there's no waiting room.
But once the doorbell rang while there was 5 minutes left so my therapist got up, opened the door and I heard her laugh with her next patient telling her she was a bit in advance.
And I thought: "wow, she never laughs like that with me". It's not that I think I'm boring, it's that I'm difficult. And she has more pleasant, fun session with others.
I felt a huge pang of jealousy.

I usually hate to be confronted with her other patients because I end up comparing myself to them. Always to my detriment.

[Chummy]

There only had been a few times that I've heard voices from my T's room. I can't remember I've heard laughter, but from reading stories from others on this forum, I guess that my T's has clients who joke around with her or are just more entertaining during the session. I once saw a man leaving my T's office and from the way he said goodbye to her I thought that he must be a nicer client than me.

My sessions are usually quiet. I don't talk a lot, though I'm talking now more than when I started. But still, I'm very quiet. I don't really joke around, I'm too insecure/anxious to do that. My T does make a joke sometimes, so there has been laughter in our sessions. I wish I could be a little bit more like my T. I once saw her interact with a college of her while I was waiting in the waiting room and she was joking and I wonder why I can't be like that.
I'm always afraid that I'm too boring. I know therapy is to talk about your issues and to solve them and stuff, but having a little bit of fun through is also nice.

I hae this even more with pdoc. I'm so insecure around him. I don't say much. It must be horrible to have me as a patient. My appointments with him are so short, because I don't talk much to him. He must think I'm an absolute bore.

[skeksi]

My sessions are very quiet, tense, fearful affairs. When I express anxiety about this T is quick to say that we are doing good work and it's my process. I think he does enjoy working with me, even though we aren't light-hearted or laughing. Sometimes when I finally change something, like a long-standing pattern, he gets a goofy grin on his face.

My sense is that we both find my sessions fulfilling. I like that.

[atisketatasket]

Both of mine have their offices set up so it's difficult to hear how another session is going. I often hear No. 1's last words to the couple who are usually before me when she opens her door, and she never sounds like she's enjoying talking to them. (They don't look that enjoyable to talk to anyway.) With the rest of us, she's usually much more cheerful saying hello and goodbye.

And at No. 2's, I have heard a client screaming at a therapist - not sure whether it was her or one of her office mates, but it was LOUD to get through two doors. So I figure at least I'm not doing that.

But why does it matter? If you're paying someone, bore them as much as you like. You are who you are, and you're there for what you're there for. Maybe as time goes by you'll relax more and be more "fun." But why pressure/feel bad about yourself?

[nervous puppy]

I would struggle with hearing T's other sessions, too. I am thankful that I never heard that with ex-T. However, she never left any time in between sessions so who ever was before me, I would see, and I would see her interaction with them while she was scheduling their next appointment. I would find myself judging the poor client and imagining why that person was seeing her.
Many times, while in session, we heard other sessions getting loud (yelling) in the next room. That bothered me. Made my anxiety meter go off.
She was part of a large clinic with at least 10 other therapists and a couple of pdocs.

Current T must schedule enough of a time lag in between that I've only seen another client leave her office once this past year, before my appointment. I also have only seen someone waiting one other time when I was leaving her office. I have heard muffled laughing and talking coming from her office, but she must have been on the phone and could have been talking to anyone.

I've never seen/heard another client. Most of my time with current t was phone sessions, so I didn't have the chance to thankfully during that time. The first year I saw her in person, she was in an office building with a waiting room and then her office had a door to the parking lot, so you never had to go back out through the waiting room which was so awesome. Now that she's back in town again, she practices out of her home, and I keep expecting to see a car there and have to see another client come out. I don't know how I will feel. I remember clearly how I felt in that first year when I saw her in person the first time, one day I walked in and saw a clipboard in the waiting room with intake or whatever forms and her business card (the same stuff I'd filled out before my first appointment) and I wanted to throw it on the floor and stomp on it and yell "No! MY T!" But I didn't of course. I told her that story not long ago and we laughed about it, but I do wonder if I would still feel that way.

[ruh roh]

musing...you keep trying to win her over, when there's no winning over to be had. Therapy is about you and your benefit, not her entertainment or satisfaction. My therapist and I laugh, but it doesn't really indicate anything if someone were to hear us. It doesn't mean she likes me more than any other client. All it means is that we laughed about something.

[stopdog]

I never laugh with a therapist. I don't think the woman is worthy of getting to play with me. The second one sometimes laughs and says I sound like a stand up routine - but I don't actually laugh with her either.
If others want to engage in such behavior with a therapist, it doesn't bother me. I think it dangerous, but it doesn't affect me.

Originally Posted by ruh roh

musing...you keep trying to win her over, when there's no winning over to be had. Therapy is about you and your benefit, not her entertainment or satisfaction. My therapist and I laugh, but it doesn't really indicate anything if someone were to hear us. It doesn't mean she likes me more than any other client. All it means is that we laughed about something.

Agree with this completely.

I'll also say, laughter is a defense mechanism (or in some cases, a pleasant façade), and the sessions that I laugh the most are the ones where I connect the least, and the least amount of work is accomplished. My therapist actually tries to discourage excessive joking around, though if I've had a rough week she'll play into it more. Fact - the sessions I've gotten the most out of, we haven't laughed at all.

And if you're worried about your therapist not enjoying her time with you or not being sufficiently entertained (which isn't the point of therapy IMO but a very valid concern), some of my best conversations with friends haven't involved laughter... and for entertainment, my favorite movie genre isn't comedy. Therapists don't go into the field to laugh.. they do it to help people and connect and experience emotion. The more you show of yourself, lack of laughter and all, the more real the sessions and relationship will be.

[Ellahmae]

I've heard yelling from her office. I've heard big gufaws. I've heard quiet giggles. I've heard silence. I've heard all range of emotion or appearance of emotion from behind her door. My own sessions are very quiet most of the time. There are times that we just laugh and there are times I laugh to distract from what T wants to talk about.

It doesn't bother me what goes on behind the door in other sessions (other than just my plain curiosity) because I know what goes on in mine and they are powerful and healing.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I have never heard my T with another client. Her office is pretty far from the waiting room.

My T and I do laugh a lot. We use laughter to ease the tension. We're not really having fun. In fact, it usually means I'm struggling with something.

So I wouldn't compare your session with others. You're not in there, so you really don't know what's going on.

[JustShakey]

I laugh and joke a lot in my sessions. I wouldn't necessarily say it's a good thing though - I use it to buffer myself from painful feelings. My T would probably prefer (and I think I would too) if I didn't. Sometimes when I'm laughing I can tell that I really should be crying and maybe if I laugh hard enough, I'll cry. A few weeks ago I was laughing and crying at once. That was kind of a breakthrough.
Now that I'm typing this out I realize it sounds quite batshit... I suppose I'm not boring, but I think I'd take boring over what I am...

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T has a radio and a white noise machine in the waiting room, so I've never really heard anything going on in his office. Once I did hear some raised voices (not T's) and then a door slam. I figured T had a rough session before me that day.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by twistedangel00

T has a radio and a white noise machine in the waiting room, so I've never really heard anything going on in his office. Once I did hear some raised voices (not T's) and then a door slam. I figured T had a rough session before me that day.

I would never think the therapist had a rough time - sounds like the client did. I don't think those sorts of things bother therapists at all.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would never think the therapist had a rough time - sounds like the client did. I don't think those sorts of things bother therapists at all.

Good thought, stopdog. He obviously wasn't fazed at all by it.

[JaneTennison1]

Ex T and I used to laugh a fair bit. I have a sarcastic jokey manner and so we used to laugh but not all the time and not as standard. Once I apologised for being miserable and she said " you are not here to entertain me "

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I dont think anyone should compare how there sessions go to other peoples sessions. Everyone is different and everyones therapy is different. My T and I laugh at times and that does not mean my sessions are not hard or that I am my T"s favorite client.

I agree cinnamon every therapeutic relationship is unique to itself.

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[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I never laugh with a therapist. I don't think the woman is worthy of getting to play with me. The second one sometimes laughs and says I sound like a stand up routine - but I don't actually laugh with her either.
If others want to engage in such behavior with a therapist, it doesn't bother me. I think it dangerous, but it doesn't affect me.

Why do you think that would be dangerous?