Couch 105-The couch with no issues.

DD, I wish you wouldn't go, but I get the feeling of frustration and upset. My first few times of dealing with issues around the forum there was actually a feeling of betrayal for me, as unreasonable as that was.

I've had a couple of huge things happen for me in therapy in the last few weeks and wish I felt like it was safe to share them on the forum. A couple are just breakthroughs for me that sound a little silly -- like after 4 years of T trying to get me to see that I do not have to constantly compare myself to others to ensure that I am appearing 'normal' and do not get exposed as the weirdo I think I am in my head, I suddenly just realized, I really DON'T have to do that! I AM basically normal and the ways in which I am not are not ways in which I want to be normal anyway. hahaha! I can just be who I am without comparing myself to some 'standard' in my head. I cannot tell you how huge that was for me and what a feeling of lightness and relief. That has made such a huge, dramatic difference in my moods and in coping with people questioning my choice not to be around my mother. Anyway, that is the first big thing, and not so personal that it feels unsafe to put it out there, but it would be nice if there was a place to discuss this stuff where I did not feel that I had to guard so much.

I have noticed an increase in negative feeling towards therapy on PC recently. It caused me to step away a couple of weeks ago because I was having a bit of a miscommunication with my T and PC wasn't helping the way I was thinking.
I'm just back today now I'm in a better place personally, but the break was helpful, so I hope it helps you DD.

I get it, DD. People on here are usually very supportive, but a couple months ago, I posted a new thread asking advice on something, and I basically got attacked by most people for what I was asking (involving asking marriage counselor about some personal information, based on something I'd overheard). It threw me what some people said, because it was pretty harsh. Mostly people who are pretty new to the forum, so they don't know my history there.

I ended up asking him anyway, and things went fine, and he didn't seem at all bothered, despite what many people on the forum said. So I'm doing my best now to remember that I know my T and MC pretty well, and have a much better sense of who they are and how they would react to something than someone on an Internet forum--especially someone I've never interacted with before on here.

It seems to come it waves that ebb and flow with certain threads and/or posters. It's good self-care to take a break if you need to until the current atmosphere changes again (and it generally does after a few days).

MKAC...sorry. Just can't right now at least on other threads. Lets just say I'm glad choosing to stay stuck isn't an option anymore for me. Apparently the negativity of some is very triggering to me. MY problem I get it and I took care of it.

Yes! TCM!

BPA -

MKAC....also if you want a safe place to share your experiences in therapy...my PM box is always open. Breakthroughs are always BIG in therapy...period.

Every year in my town the local churches put on an interactive Bethlehem village. I haven't been for a while but it has grown considerably. The have the Romans there and everything. Last night they had a line of "recruits" for the soldiers. There was this line of children all walking along with their spears etc except the last little guy whose helmet kept falling over his eyes and his spear was feeling a bit heavy so he dragged along, he had the darkest scowl til they were told to stop then he was Mr Happy again. I've never seen a child so happy to have something stop. I wonder if they cake afterwards?

People feel abandoned over Christmas. I think that's the main issue.

I have never figured out how the holiday propoganda that so does not jive with many people's experiences in so many ways, took hold so strongly. It is like WW2 propoganda - when you ride alone, you ride with hitler.
The second therapist I see is pretty openly scornful of xmas and the happy family idea and has said she does not bother with the holiday (and she has adult children who she says she likes as a general matter). I don't bother with it much either and although I go to a small gathering in the morning and have my own small one in the evening - little of it has anything to do with xmas itself other than everyone is off of work.

you can never get to speak to a real person about a problem with your pension payment but you cn get through to tech support in a wink....

I am going to have to gird up my loins and go to a grocery store before xmas. It will not be pretty.

. . . the girding your loins part or the grocery store part?

Accidently triggered myself while making my grandmothers christmas biscuits. I forgot how potent a trigger smell was...

The store itself.
Loin girding is quite attractive.

Smell is quite strong for me too.

Seeing as I haven't been out of my pajamas all day, the girding the loins part would definitely take some effort . . .

Oh yeah! Smells set me off probably quicker and more intensely than anything else.

At the same time, smell can be one of the things that I actually can find comfort in.

Yes, i've actively avoided grocery stores for the past few days. Its fine that I live on cheese and crackers and bourbon, right?
Also--sorry Stopdog, but this definitely made me

Nothing to be sorry for.

THE BLINKING EMOJI GUY. YOU HATE THEM.

I felt like shouting, don't mind me

I find the smell of cows soothing, my T built it into my relaxation exercise. I was really impressed with his knowledge of cattle.

Yes - they are an abomination. But I didn't think you were blinky thinging at me.