Trauma w/no memories

For those of you who know or think you experienced trauma, how do you explore it in therapy if you don't have memories of it?

(Maybe a third party confirmed something bad but not in detail or you have unexplained body responses to certain triggers)

What makes my situation frustrating is that there is plenty of bad stuff I do remember before age 5 but the rest I don't have access to.

Is this what somatic therapies are for? Thanks in advance for your thoughts and experiences.

I knew something happened to me early on also, but, couldn't recall the specifics. My t wouldn't push the subject at all because she didn't want me to create false memories. She told me to just pay attention to any thoughts that would arise around the situation and not to force myself to think too hard about it. She advised me pieces of the puzzle would eventually fall into place. She was right. After a few pieces of that puzzle fell into place, the rest came barreling in.

So there's that. I think the harder to try to remember, the harder it will be for those memories to come. They will come when you are ready to receive. Wishing you well on this tough journey.

I know something happened to me in a preschool, but I don't know what. That's based off of what my mom told me. I also have an issue (my secret) that pretty much can only be explained by a trauma. The other reasons are highly unlikely.

But I don't talk much about either one. I believe that some stuff un the past is meant to stay in the past. How is it healthy to dig up more trauma than you can remember? Now my secret has veen talked about a little, but nothing about how it came about. I don't remember. I can't even make an assumption or a hypothesis. I just don't know. So we deal with the issue that is known, understand it to the best we can with the facts we have, and keep revisiting it as it comes up.

I have used multi - disciplines in my own work for my trauma. In addition to talk therapy I have worked with a Shaman. I had something happen at the age of four months old. I cannot possibly remember it , but I did find out what it was. I have also used EMDR and mindfulness. Currently I am exploring somatic type therapies where trauma is held by the body. It's a long journey.

I have events which others have briefly corroborated but don't remember.

My T works with me on how I feel about having stuff corroborated.

I've no flashbacks, no body memories, nothing except big emotional reactions which happen when I'm triggered in the present.

So we talk about how that could be linked to those corroborated events, but we don't try to guess at what I do not remember.

It's definitely maddening to not "know", for me.

Lots of my stuff happened non verbal. Just keep talking and T helps you verbalize experiences.

I have some memories, and , like Allheart said, initially I had only fragments but more has fallen into place.
I didn't go into therapy to work on that issue, so for me we didn't work on it...we worked on other stuff but as the relationship deepened and I guess I trusted my T, more stuff came up. If it comes up, we look at it, if it doesn't we work on other stuff, whatever I bring.
I agree that there's no point forcing memories. I wasn't looking for mine at all, cos I didn't know they were there to be found.

For me personally,the memory gaps feel disempowering and painful. I don't want to remember necessarily but I'd like to be able to choose if I bring something to mind or not. Also, I can see now that issues I have had (phobias etc) have probably been the I remembered, unprocessed stuff showing itself in other ways so, for me, I feel I will be healthier, stronger and saner in the future if I can process at least some of it.

My t tells me I suffered a pre verbal trauma. I have no idea what happens but she thinks I was left alone to cry and suffer and was neglected as a baby. She thinks this because I isolate myself so much and the idea of letting anyone close sends me into a cold sweat. I withdraw and retreat when people are near and am only starting to see why this is.
I think it could be worth exploring the idea of a pre verbal trauma! Somatic therapy could be good for releasing the trapped somatic symptoms. Talk therapy won't really help if you have no memory or can't verbalise what you are feeling.
There are some really good resume eleasing exercises online if you would like to google them. I did a few with t and it really worked. My ex t was a trauma specialist.

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I have no recollection but am assured that trauma happened. I use EMDR, Somatic Experiencing and Brain Spotting, all of which do not require remembering/figuring out what happened. I am actually feeling better! and I still don't remember.

I have some particular peculiar bodily responses - some i have resolved, but some remain. Those do seem preverbal with no accessible memory. I think if i could replicate the feeling, i might be able to bring up the memory. Might need a lot of American Honey...

I remember some of my traumas, but the worst ones I seem to only remember fragments of them. Also, I often react very strongly emotionally to even slight mentions of things or triggers. It is like my body remembers and responds, but my mind doesn't. Also, with my neighbor who SA me, I can remember some of the things he did to me, but I can't remember his face. I hate not remembering stuff because it feels like I can never fully grieve and get past stuff that I can't remember enough about.

we talk about things in terms of what is happening in the "now". I talk about reactions I have to things, even if they don't make sense.
For a lot of years, I had no access to anything "solid". I simply had reactions and symptoms that could not be explained by my known history. Eventually, some more stuff surfaced, but we didn't push it (and still don't. I have a lot of trouble believing these "new" memories)... we're still in the early stages of working on things.
I've had several T's tell me there were unaddressed things from the past that were interfering with the present, but we never really delved into what it was. Most thought it had to do with more intense abuse issues... Mostly, T's just went with what I presented in the moment. It's just been in the last 2 or 3 years that we have begun to tackle the "new" stuff.

I have no memory of anything in particular. But I have many of the signs. Nervous system dysregulation is one.

As some have written about, might not be a particular event or even anything overt. Could be a depressed or stressed mother, or a a fundamental misattunement between mother and child. Just the nature of the relationship in combination with the child's particular constitution.

I find it distressing to feel this way without a known cause though.

A video from Gabor Mate MD that might be relevant. Very short.

I have memories of the trauma. It gets to the " bad place" and the TV turns off. I have not memory of what happens past that point.

This hurts because I've only shared it with my counselor.. "What happened to me?" "Did that happen to me?" I don't know. Something tells me it did. But I don't know. Don't know what to do with that!!

It might be easier to realize that you were abused if you saw the whole thing instead of the prelude to it and the TV going off. Dissociation has its benefits in the moments. Not so good after the fact.

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