If you saw a therapist only once, why did you not return?

If you saw a therapist only once, why didn't you go back?

I have seen 5 only once.

One told me to break up with my then-boyfriend during the very first session. I'd barely mentioned him and certainly nor negatively.

One was unsympathetic to my skepticism about therapy and tried to tease me about it by shaking her finger in my face.

One seemed a little thick, plus she had a ginormous collection of stuffed animals, mostly Eeyores, all over her office. I actually felt like the animals were staring at me.

One "diagnosed" me 15 minutes in and also locked us in for the session.

One insisted I had a condition I did not have, an ED, even though I had been ill and that had caused sudden extreme weight loss.

Those last two I walked out on.

I interviewed around 30 of them before just sticking with the two I see now. Reasons I did not go back: they seemed nuts; patronizing and male; too new age sensitivish and male; stuffed animals everywhere - it was creepy; had her chair higher than the one for the client; and some I just didn't think I could even minimally abide due to their presence.
Really the two I kept on with should consider themselves lucky that they made the cut - they were the least offensive out of number who could not meet that low bar.

Mostly it was a not clicking thing. It was sometimes just a complete ambivalence for the therapist; no strong feeling one way or another. The couple of women I tried out started disclosing far too much personal abuse history very early on which was a huge red flag to me; they also seemed rather pitying and insincere in their "empathy". Just turned me off. But the others I simply just didn't feel strongly about one way or another. Very different from the three I worked with long-term; with those I knew from the very first meeting that we had a very natural rapport with each other; very comfortable, very astute, very straight-forward. My instincts didn't fail me.

I voted We didn't "click"--I have a hard time seeing male therapists but I tried out three of them. The first one was waaaaaaay too intense for me in the initial few meetings. I felt like I was some kind of bug. The other guy was someone I was really interested in working with as he was an Eriksonian trained therapist, but he spent the entire few sessions I went to him typing on his laptop computer--I mean he was a GREAT typer, his fingers flying across the keys taking down every word I said, but man, that really killed any kind of contact between the two of us. The third guy just wasn't on the same page as me--kept trying to use Motivational Therapy techniques with me and since I had been trained in those techniques, I found myself sitting there and saying to myself, "Well, there he goes again, using Blah blah blah technique." Very distracting.

I also chose inappropriate for a few therapists I gave a test run to because of their behavior (none sexual). One therapist, who I went to discuss the ramifications of some serious health issues I had, proceeded to tell me for the entire session about her history of health problems. Man did that give me a headache. Another one wanted me to know about her "angel experiences"--I couldn't get out of there fast enough. With another try out therapist, I had told her that I wasn't ready to talk about a particular experience but I'd let her know when I'd reached a point that I felt it was time to open up about it. She agreed and thanked me for letting her know what my boundary was. I went to a second session and she blindsided me with an abrupt challenge about the issue and then when I reacted in a stunned manner (dissociated for a few moments), she just sat there and stared at me. I got myself together, thanked her and left.

I marked 'other'. Saw a couple of therapists only once coz well they straight up said that I didn't need therapy. My issues according to them were just due to me getting worked up about things that were some combination of the following -- 'normal' family stuff / usual ups and downs in life / some form of institutional -isms / part of growing up and so on.

I ended up believing them and didn't try therapy again for a good, long while until things got bad and I landed with my current T (who thankfully didn't end up being dismissive although I gave her the same sort of opening spiel as I had the others).

He saw me in a tiny, and I mean tiny room with no furniture other than two chairs and a plug-in radiator which made the room stiflingly hot.
He proceeded to ask lots of questions, including one about drug use. I said I'd occasionally used recreational drugs when I was younger and he said "I'll just write former drug user".
As I told him about my situation (mostly a double bereavement H and I were dealing with) he started to criticise my H for not supporting me better. I was like "Uh, he's grieving as much as I am." It was so judgemental.
Then he started to tell me this bizarre third hand story about a couple who had lost their baby and put the ashes urn to bed every night, even though it didn't relate to my situation at all (our bereavements were not children).
He was also just weird and didn't seem to be hearing me at all. It's crazy because he is supposedly well regarded and has written books on bereavement, but it was like he had no clue about how to relate to me at all.
I left thinking 'he won't be hearing from me again' then he rang me out of the blue about three weeks later and said "I can start seeing you regularly now." as if I had no say in it. He was so presumptuous, he didn't even ask me how I would feel about working with him. When I read positive reviews about him my mind boggles.

I saw a male therapist just once. I was going against every instinct I had about male therapists. I just thought "I need to try it out just to see how it's like and at least with him I won't have transference". Transference was my main concern. That was when my transference with my female therapist was overwhelming me.

He had a huge office with an amazing view. The guy was clearly well-off and well-respected and had written a number of articles about gay stuff, that was one of the reasons I had picked him. He even had a collection of smoke pipes. It was a bit odd.

He immediately proceeded to tell me that I didn't actually have a depression just because I was put together and not crying I suppose and everything in his way of talking was dismissive and arrogant.
He was so awful: no empathy, no caring. He even told me I was a loser because I didn't have many friends. I should just have walked out. But I stayed until the end of the session, paid him and never went back.

I put other. One insisted that EVERYONE knows how they feel in spite of my saying i didn't know how I feel in about 1000 different ways. If she had shut up and listened she might have discovered thats why I was there in the first place. Also she had a low coffee table between the client and her chair.

The two that I seen once and didn't go back to were completely insane and one was deaf.
The first one had crazy eyes like that, that I just couldn't look at, she then accused me of lying because I didn't make eye contact.
The second one was really old, I was telling her about my same sex relationship (two females) and she kept asking what his name was lol

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Other. I had been recently let out of the hospital and was forced to go see a therapist. I was pre-diagnosis, psychotic, and absolutely terrified. I thought the facility was a front for human trafficking and they were going to lock me in a back room. I'm still amazed that I even went through with the appointment, but I guess I didn't want to end up back in the hospital again. I was shaking from head to toe the entire time. After that, I ignored all therapy and medication suggestions for quite a few years until I eventually started cooperating.

I saw a really great Jungian analyst--the real deal. According to protocol, I brought a dream. Usually that first dream is a big one, not big in the sense of complexity (mine was really lean) but it carries a lot of meaning for the work to come. When I finished telling her the dream, she said it had to do with X topic. It was not something that the content of the dream would have indicated to anyone who isn't well versed in dream work, so when I shared it, I had no idea what it meant. But when she told me, I immediately knew it was true and also that it was something I had never breathed a word about to anyone, and it's not something that's a typical therapy thing. I couldn't handle it, couldn't even talk. So I got up and left, shaking and crying. I never went back. It scared me that someone could have been so surgically precise. I wasn't ready.

There were a few others that I wish I would have walked out on or not returned to see, but not because they were too good. Unfortunately, my therapist radar was really wonky and I stayed with them.

I've interviewed over 45 therapist in person, mostly when I was between the ages of 18-35. I'm 55 now. I saw 3 of them, ~3- 12 months, two dumped me, and the one I saw for a year was killed hiking on a mountain. Two I saw ~2-3 years, one moved, and the other, I moved. I started again during and after pregnancy (I was 36), for ~ two plus years. I stopped, because I wanted the money to travel, and do exciting things with my kid as a divorced mom. Before age 36, I always went in person to interview, at least once. After, I required free phone interview of at ~20 minutes. If they weren't picked it was be cause of me not "feeling it."

I haven't had the luxury of choosing a therapist... I get what I get. The area where I live is pretty limited. It seems like it would be nice to at least have a choice.


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Recently I was interviewing Ts, and while this particular one seemed alright and I think I could have made it work, I stumbled upon one that I thought was a million times better fit for me so I went with her instead. Before finding the "better fit" one, I did have a qualm with this T as the one session I had with her was in a very large office...like so big that we must have been 8-10 feet apart with a huge coffee table between us. It felt impersonal and it was kind of weird.

I saw a T for one visit only. He was so loud I felt like he was yelling. It felt abrasive and I never went back.

I always like it more when there is distance and furniture between the therapist and me.

Btwn ex-T and current T, I saw a T twice. First time was okay. Second time was bad. She was telling me how she wanted to go to her high school reunion to show off how good she looked compared to how old the others looked. I told her she was being judgmental. She was also very religious (even had a degree in catholicism). On top of that, she was just a couple miles away from ex-T which is 40 miles from where I live. Too close to ex-T and too far from home.

I too, wish you and others had more choices. The US president said the government was going to pump millions of dollars into mental healthcare...but if it is government as usual, a lot of money will be wasted. My ex therapist told me that as of this year, our state's public and contracted facilities are no longer allowed to do psychotherapy. They have a checklist they have to go through, basically for liability purposes, and if a certain number of boxes can be checked then they are mentally healthy. This is a state that had a mass public shooting. But, this is also a state where foster children live, actually play and sleep for days, in the offices of the case workers, because their are not enough foster homes. But, I will continue to wish for more, and better mental healthcare for all.

Also, as I thought more about my search today, I think I was avoiding my life.

I marked "inappropriate" because I think it was inappropriate for him to try to make me say something that was not true. Probably should have marked "other". He was a pompous know-it-all who knew nothing. I walked out on him before the session was over however I suppose I do have him to thank, that because of him, I refuse to see a male t again and that's how come I found current t. My pdoc only had male t's he could refer me to, so I had to find my own.

I once had a psychiatrists who laughed at me when I started to cry is his office because I was so upset and scared. I never went back to him.

One was arrogant and another was available when I was.

I terminated a woman T in the second session when I'd been quite optimistic after the first. She back tracked about it being OK to continue working with regular T , decided we were going to work on her agenda , no congruency , forgot major details of my life , made assumptions , didn't listen , didn't understand and basically re- traumatized me. Then she emailed thinking I was going to return. I did threaten her with a formal complaint , but didn't have any intention of actually doing that - I just wanted her response. She ' Regretted " it all. Did she now? I expect her supervisor is still busy with her. She was awful.

I put didn't click, but the ones I never returned to, it was often because I felt like they had nothing to offer me because they just weren't very bright and I could get more by talking to myself.

I never knew you you could just quit a T if she isn't right for you. I was a teenager when I started therapy and no one ever told me that. The one time I did talk about that I didn't like my T, I got told I just had to try to make it work.
At least now I know you don't have to stay with a T you don't like. My pdoc was actually the first professional who told me this, but by then I already knew.

I've never seen a therapist for just one session but I did see one for 5 before deciding it wasn't going to work. We just didn't click and I realised that I needed a different type of therapy than what she was offering (but I didn't realise this until we had about 4 sessions). The other thing that I didn't like was the room. It just didn't feel comfortable for some reason. My current T has a really nice room - very cosy but still "professional", it even smells nice .