does everyone really think this?

Feel better

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Nope I still feel horrible

I guess this is directed at me. My initial posts were direct challenges, but argumentative? The replies to my posts were quite a bit worse. I was condescended to, insulted, and told to stop posting.

I am not upset with "something", I was expressing concern about this thread. I understand suggesting that Eden get help. But labeling her "abnormal" etc and forcing a medical diagnosis might be crossing a line, and i wonder also if it is an echo of some family pathology, the kind of stuff that hurts rather then helps (just a thought). Sometimes language matters. Maybe she is seeking a different response. I dunno, I am blathering now, and Eden can say what she needs.

Hang in there Eden

Interesting, I've had those thoughts about my medication before and they went away when I my dose was adjusted. But if it ever happens again I can now point out that it's not paranoia but other people think so,too!

Previously felt and now feel the same way. I try not to say anything about those thoughts when I have them because I don't want more medication thrown at me because of it. So I get this.

eden1515,I'm glad you've been eating and drinking, and hanging on.

I would like to ask the following question, then: do you believe that only you know the truth about the world, whereas everyone else has got it wrong?

And no one has implied that you are a vegetable.

Actually, they didn't. It says in your update that you hate assumptions.

Actually, all we out here can know is that Eden has written that she hates assumptions. May seem picky, but nobody knows for sure what Eden feels but Eden.

I was pointing it out to eden, not to you or anyone else, because eden accused Argo of making an assumption about the fact that she hates assumptions. Because she has written that she hates assumptions, she must mean that she hates assumptions. Thus saying that she hates them is not an assumption, but an observation.

That is all.

Thanks, Warrior, but it's okay. My post wasn't very polite. I can see why it would irritate Eden, so---

Eden, I'm sorry about that. It wasn't nice to talk about you in the third person. For what it's worth, I don't think you're floridly psychotic, and that was the point I was trying to make with my comment.

Are you feeling any better today?

Haha, it was mostly just me getting irritated by little details.

Actually we talked about how I have not been eating.

I feel horrible I am failing all my school work I want to cry all the time I can't sleep everything hurts and I am exhausted. I don't want to be here anymore I have been cutting more and I feel completely alone my parents think I am fine and everything is great but I constantly feel like I need to stab myself and I can't manage to do anything everything is a mees literally as well I am to exhausted to clean up all this stuff and I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear. The demons keep scaring me and the others in my head are mad because I have not done what they wanted because the demons keep interfering and now everyone is just mad at me and no one wants me around anyway. The panic attacks won't stop and I feel like everyone is just sick of me. And the only thing that kept me going was my rabbit and she is gone and I can't get her back and I just I can't make it all stop I can't take this anymore.

Sorry you are hurting. I didn't know you are in school I thought you said you were done. I probably forgot. What you in school for?

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I think maybe she's still in high school?

Sending big hugs to you, Eden...

i am in university and i am done there is no point anymore i cant do this.

Is this your first year? I remember when you were still in high school recently. You must just started university. Don't give up that early. Do they have counseling there? They might suggest something like how to handle being overwhelmed. It might get easier when you feel better

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So sorry. I had to live in a happy family dream world when I was a teenager, too.

Yes, we did, when you mentioned not being able to eat or drink anything several weeks ago in in your previous thread. I am happy to see you've been able to take some sustenance, and are continuing to hang in there, though thing still are extremely difficult for you. Take care eden1515.

i am in first year and they do have counselling but i am too scared to mention anything about what has been happening to any of the counsellors i just really dont know what to do anymore i cant keep doing this i keep trying not to go buy things i can do "stuff" with but i really want to i am so tired i just dont know what to do my family will be mad if i say i cant do uni if i keep doing uni i will be paying to fail and my family will be mad i wasted money when i do fail i cant i dont see any other options anymore other than for me to just disappear and be gone forever i really dont think i have another choice.

I'm sorry you feel that way, eden. I understand struggling with university, as my BA was supposed to take three years and I'm currently on year six, still trying to finish my third year. It's very hard.

However, when you say things that suggest you are going to end your life, I feel obligated to tell you that you do have a choice: you can choose to ask for help. I'm sorry, but reality is far less scary than what you are experiencing, and I desperately want for you to discover that and join us in it. Even if that means taking medication, which, YES, is less than ideal, but if the alternative is killing yourself I really don't see how medication could be any worse than that. If you try it and you don't like it, you can always stop, but at least you will have tried.

The medication can get you well enough to really make use of your therapy. Before I was stabilised on mine, there was no point in me seeing a therapist because I was not in a mental state where it would have been beneficial to me. But now I am, and therapy has helped me so much since I started it three years ago.

I know you are going to be mad at me for this post, but I cannot just sit back and accept that someone wants to suffer because they think they don't have any other choice, when they do. You have a choice, eden. Let the professionals do their jobs, they went to university for many years to get into those positions, and we all have to trust that they can help us (or at least help us to help ourselves).

Is there no part of you that wants to find out what life is like for the vast majority of the people around you? Don't you want to give yourself a chance to join them?

I really wish you would get rid of the people in your head, eden, as well as the demons. They are harming you. They clearly upset you, if you want to take your own life to get away from them. Unfortunately, it is ultimately up to you to figure out that there are ways to make them disappear instead of you, which is the alternative everyone who has replied to this thread would prefer. We all want you to live, eden. That's why we're here.

Please stay safe.

How about Multiple Schlerosis? Is there new research? Yes that is sarcastic, at the same time let's not post opinions as facts, eh?

Why can't there be a correlation to Eden's not eating and Eden's emotional state? Taking care of oneself physically is part of whatever side of the debate one sides with, meds v. No meds. Holism v. Psychomarmacology.

So yes, I find treating overall health helps emotional health not just physical. Self care is the expression.

Based on my life experience with similar kinds of concerns and an eating disorder that almost starved me to death, I wonder if you would like to talk to us some more about that? I know you don't want to go to a hospital but maybe there might be an eating disorder program somewhere that could help and would get you away from the family stress for awhile?