The Couch - CXII : The Tao of Couchies

stopdog · May 05, 2016, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Mirabile dictu, this morning I got through a therapy session without getting annoyed or irritated. Not even once.

I hear the skiing is good in hell these days.

I hope it is not contagious.

StressedMess · May 05, 2016, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I don't know what mdd is - but I think your upsettedness at the young adults was justified. I usually think in general it would be better to more calmly set limits and stick to them, but sometimes a good display of temper can get their attention.

Major depressive disorder, which I was suffering from when I first sat on the couch. I usually communicate rationally and hide many of my emotions, so when I behave as I did yesterday it feels more like I'm punishing myself than them. Sometimes I really act like I've lost my mind, other times I'm cool as a cucumber. It's embareassing!

May 05, 2016, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

have you asked him that?

I think I will. I just think it was a misunderstanding as i was dressed very strangely as I couldn't have been bothered to wash my usual therapy clothes and I had grass seeds on my leggings and had to look twice to see if I got them all when I brushed my leg.

May 05, 2016, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Speaking of embarrassment, I just found out that I have cavities.

Have spent the week in a haze of shame over it.....to the point that I wonder if I should talk about it in therapy except that I'm too embarrassed to let my T know that I have them.

So, have been doing the mature thing and obsessively googling things like "at what age did you first have cavities?".

Argh.

Heck, my family has notoriously bad teeth. It isn't from lack of care -- just sort of a genetic thing. My kids have the same issue -- again, not from lack of care. Don't sweat it. You definitely aren't alone in the cavity department and dentists see much worse I am sure.

DarknessForever · May 05, 2016, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

i had the strangest session tuesday . out of the blue my T got up and started typing on her computer and kept doing it . it made me so uncomfortable. she kept doing it as she was trying to talk to me . i just said i wanted to leave. and got up to go she asked me to sit down and stay. i did because i didnt want to storm out but i felt like she had other things more important to deal with . she has never done this before . i finely told her i was having a problem with her doing this and i would rather her let me leave instead of sitting there as she did this.she explained that she was just typing what i was saying . i dont understand why she didnt explain what she was going to do before she did it . it seemed like she wanted to make me uncomfortable and upset but i dont understand why . im counfused and am finding it hard to trust her . it was like she wanted to punish me for asking for an extra session . ill never ask again .she doesnt need to worry about me getting to close to her and doing horrible things to keep me away either . i know my place .

I'm sorry. But I'm sure the reason was good. Just be sure to ask your next appointment. Big hugs, Granite1. Big hugs.

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velcro003 · May 05, 2016, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Rather than shut down and refuse to trust her, why not ask her to explain to you why she was doing that? It sounds like she may have tried but you weren't able to really hear her because you were upset. It's okay to ask again. It's okay to tell her you wondered if she was trying to upset you. Communicate these thoughts to her and be willing to dialogue about what was going on both outwardly and inwardly. I HIGHLY doubt it was being done to punish you; that would be something the mother would do -- not your therapist. But tell her that is how it felt or what you wondered; it's great fodder for discussion. It may have "felt" like a horrible thing she was doing, but perhaps if you talk about it, you might understand why she was doing it. She has never done "horrible things" to you before -- that would be something the mother would do, not your therapist -- so this a perfect opportunity to try to really talk to her about what she was doing and how you were feeling.

Granite--i agree 1,00% with Lola. I would be weirded out if my T started typing while i was talking, and i know how hard it is to tell her your feelings on stuff she does, but i REALLY don't think she was punishing you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Speaking of embarrassment, I just found out that I have cavities.

Have spent the week in a haze of shame over it.....to the point that I wonder if I should talk about it in therapy except that I'm too embarrassed to let my T know that I have them.

So, have been doing the mature thing and obsessively googling things like "at what age did you first have cavities?".

Argh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Heck, my family has notoriously bad teeth. It isn't from lack of care -- just sort of a genetic thing. My kids have the same issue -- again, not from lack of care. Don't sweat it. You definitely aren't alone in the cavity department and dentists see much worse I am sure.

Aww, what are you ashamed for having cavities? It really is mostly genetic. I didn't go to the dentist for 3 years (i hate the dentist!), and had seven cavities! Woops! I think if you feel this bad about it, you should tell your T to see where hte shame is coming from. I'm sorry you feel that way

DarknessForever · May 05, 2016, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Speaking of embarrassment, I just found out that I have cavities.

Have spent the week in a haze of shame over it.....to the point that I wonder if I should talk about it in therapy except that I'm too embarrassed to let my T know that I have them.

So, have been doing the mature thing and obsessively googling things like "at what age did you first have cavities?".

Argh.

Hey, don't fret. I had cavities really young in life. Like before I was 10. So I think your fine. In fact, I just got one filled last month. I take care of my teeth, but they don't take care of me! Those dang shots hurt, and they jab me several times to numb me! Good luck.

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MobiusPsyche · May 05, 2016, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarknessForever

Hey, don't fret. I had cavities really young in life. Like before I was 10. So I think your fine. In fact, I just got one filled last month. I take care of my teeth, but they don't take care of me! Those dang shots hurt, and they jab me several times to numb me! Good luck.

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I just had two fillings put in. At least I still have my teeth. My dad had dentures at my age.

Most psych meds cause dry mouth, which contributes to cavities even if you take good care of your teeth.

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DarknessForever · May 05, 2016, 06:12 PM

Yeah. That can definitely cause cavities. Sucks. But, as you pointed out, you still have your teeth!

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DarknessForever · May 05, 2016, 06:15 PM

Is it weird to give your therapist a graduation invitation? I feel that is it...

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DarknessForever · May 05, 2016, 06:36 PM

My parents are fighting again. And my mom is once again not eating because of it. I'm so tired of this! You know what, my stomach hurts all the time when I eat, but I still eat! She's going to waste away. I wish he would just figure out if he wants to stay or not. I'd ask how much pain one person can cause a family, but I figured THAT out four years ago. When does it all stop? When does the pain stop? It's just so much...this is why I'm so scared to talk about my repressed emptions. If I start to feel again, I get hurt again. I'm just not sure it's worth it...

I think I'd rather be numb. The hurt is worse that not loving or feeling love. It's not like I know what that is anyway. Sorry, couch. I'm rambling.

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StressedMess · May 05, 2016, 06:43 PM

My bonus kid is having similar feelings, DF. Her dad is in ICU on life support for the last 3 days. She went to visit and her distant relatives were crying and sad, and she feels nothing. She thinks she's shut herself off from feeling anything for so long she's forgotten how. She asked me if that was normal. I asked her if we'd met? I'm the farthest from normal in our house!

Feelings are scary.

(((DF))) hopefully it resolves soon.

DarknessForever · May 05, 2016, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

My bonus kid is having similar feelings, DF. Her dad is in ICU on life support for the last 3 days. She went to visit and her distant relatives were crying and sad, and she feels nothing. She thinks she's shut herself off from feeling anything for so long she's forgotten how. She asked me if that was normal. I asked her if we'd met? I'm the farthest from normal in our house!

Feelings are scary.

(((DF))) hopefully it resolves soon.

They really are. I honestly haven't felt anything good in four years, and I shut myself off. My psychologist always asks how I feel, and I'm like "Honestly? I don't really feel anything." Says I keep my emotions so close to me, I don't let them go. It's complicated. But thus has been going on for months. If he wants to divorce her, fine. But we'd be better off if we knew because it would be one less moment of pain and we can help her heal. But no! Can't do that! Thanks, by the way. I hope it gets better, too.
Now my stomach hurts. Another night of forcing my food down. I'd waste away if I didn't know better and deal with this a lot. I'm not even excited for graduation anymore. I'm just tired.

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May 05, 2016, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarknessForever

Is it weird to give your therapist a graduation invitation? I feel that is it...

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Not at all.

atisketatasket · May 05, 2016, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I hope it is not contagious.

*breathes on SD*

I am sure I will be over it next week. Occasionally a one in a million chance does come to pass.

atisketatasket · May 05, 2016, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Speaking of embarrassment, I just found out that I have cavities.

Have spent the week in a haze of shame over it.....to the point that I wonder if I should talk about it in therapy except that I'm too embarrassed to let my T know that I have them.

So, have been doing the mature thing and obsessively googling things like "at what age did you first have cavities?".

Argh.

I had my first cavity at 12. That was the only one until graduate school, then things went downhill. I have an overactive salivary gland, which increases bacteria in the mouth, apparently.

One dentist I saw in graduate school really liked to press my salivary gland and watch it spurt.

May 05, 2016, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

can't type that one out - it has to be : o

Well how confusing does it have to be?

i guess i should leave the use of emoticons to when I'm on my laptop!

07:51 PM

This freedom I am currently experiencing from the recent intense feels about t is so good. I'm not even going to question where it came from, just enjoy it while it lasts, and hope that it lasts a while!!

Maybe my recent craziness has finally caused her to release the spell she's had over me all this time. I don't really mean that, but... yeah. Some of you get me.

ETA: That wasn't questioning it. Just playing. Sort of. Maybe.

May 05, 2016, 07:14 PM

Currently trying to adult and pay bills and stuff but really want to curl up and doze.

atisketatasket · May 05, 2016, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunYip

Currently trying to adult and pay bills and stuff but really want to curl up and doze.

So, basically, you want to cat.

(Stares jealously at junior cat, who is napping in preparation for keeping me up all night.)

May 05, 2016, 07:17 PM

I'm finally starting to recuperate my energy after last week. 9 trips down to the concert hall in 10 days for auditions, rehearsals, and four concerts wears me out. Don't get me wrong. I love what I do, but those 17 hour days add up to one tired woman. Today, though, I feel almost human again, and it is almost the weekend. I can do this!

I'm officially down to 18 more class days of school. AP tests are in progress (my students take theirs next Wednesday). I still have to get them through critical essays and book group presentations though, so we had that "It's not over 'till the fat lady sings" discussion today. These juniors are suffering from premature senioritis

.

It was lovely to have my brother-in-law here last weekend for my concert. He is the sweetest man; my sister was very blessed. It is always a little bitter-sweet when he is around as I always think of how much my sister loved being around my boys. And she would have been so proud of my work with the chorus. She was my greatest fan. But we've all finally reach a place where we can talk about her with great memories and laughter instead of tears. Time does heal.