Intimidated by Therapist...

Hello PC,..I've saw my new therapist twice. She unfortunatly after those 2 weeks is on a 3 week...vacation yippy? Right..I'm pretty bad at the moment feeling just horrible crying over nothing and just very alone. The two appoints I had where very hard. She is a very beauitful women but to me very intimidating...I'm so afraid what to say...being my 4th therapist I've caught on that therapists tell you bluntly generally and that scares me...because most of the time they tell me whats wrong..which I know...rather then help find a way to fix the problem.

I've not given up ...I see her August 1st...wow thats a ways away...I feel I'll neverr have a therapist who remembers me...understands..and cares. My last therapist was awesome I wish I still saw him. But he left =(. I dunno what to do. I sometimes feel therapy only gives more attention on the problems but hardly ever fixes them. But maybe I've not found the "right" on...altho my current T was shocked after finding i've saw so many at a young age in just a 3 year span. THat in itself brought me down.....

Dustin

Wow..20 views nothing...I must be coldly different in situations.

Moonkin I read your first post earlier and wasn't sure how to reply. I'm back after doing some weekend chores, errands, and reading.

I think it's awful that she's going to have to be gone for 3 weeks right when you are starting and trying to get comfortable with her. It takes time for that to happen, especially if you have trust issues because of previous T's.

I was really really glad to see you say that you're not giving up! That is great. It's hard to commit yourself to going and going no matter what and even especially when you don't feel like it or you're having doubts. I am committed that way too; I will go no matter what and especially when I don't want to or don't feel like going.

I think that your current T being shocked about how many T's you've had in a short period of time is hopeful. She sees that as an injustice done to you and I'm guessing it made her feel sad and made her really really want to be there for you and help you. Can you think of her being shocked as an expression of her compassion and interest, do you think?

Since she is going to have to be away, she may choose to keep things kind of 'light' for now so that when she has to be gone, that won't happen right in the middle of something the two of you are talking about.

I'm an adult, Moonkin, and I was intimidated by my T for a while too. Keep going so she can show you that she is trustworthy, compassionate, kind, and interested in what you have to say. Go at the pace you are comfortable with. "Begin where you are" my T tells me.

Some T's do not assign a diagnosis at all and some do it after they get to know you a bit.

Keep going and keep talking, you're doing great!!

ECHOES

Moonkin, it would be so hard to finally go to see a new T (always stressful!) and then have her take a 3 week break so soon. I hope you can keep busy with other things and that the time will pass quickly for you.

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I've caught on that therapists tell you bluntly generally and that scares me...because most of the time they tell me whats wrong..which I know...rather then help find a way to fix the problem

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My own T operates from a position of health rather than one of pathology. He has never given me a diagnosis and I have never asked for one. He believes that each person, within herself, knows the unique path to healing for herself. He helps me discover that and accompanies me along the way. So don't be disturbed if your T doesn't give you a diagnosis. They don't all believe in that. And if you really want one, you can always ask, but it seems to me from what you've written that you know already what you would like to work on.

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Wow..20 views nothing...I must be coldly different in situations.

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Moonkin, don't be disturbed by this. This happens to everyone. There are many people on PC who just lurk and don't post.

I keep hearing about all of these T's taking long vacations (mine does too) -- we know they're not raking in the dough. How can they take such long European-like vacations? Too bad she didn't tell you when you made the appointment that she would be taking a break right away -- you may have elected to make your first appointment when she was settled back in.

I'm glad you have decided to return even though you felt intimidated. I agree that T's need to build on our strengths as much as they need to point out where we have issues. I would have felt the same as you about using the word "shocked" at seeing several T's. I don't think it's uncommon at all. Maybe we should take a poll here at PC -- it might normalize your situation and make you feel better. (Plus, you could take it in to her should you ever want to.)

Hang in there, and if she's not the right one, I hope you will move on and not worry about the number. It's the quality not the quantity, right? You deserve the help and to feel understood and cared for as you desire.

Hey Moon! I'm really proud of you that you got the courage to go see get another therapist. Wow. So, so hard, I know. What is it that you find intimidating about her? Have you been intimidated by past therapists? I'm just asking because there are so many reasons one could be intimidated by a therapists. Sometimes it's a personality thing. Sometimes it's the sheer intimidation of just being analysed; exposed. And I think a lot of times, the feeling of intimidation can be confused with the feeling of vulnerability. I know that (up until now) I have never felt intimidated by my T... only very, very vulnerable. Only very recently have I become a bit intimidated by his level of knowledge and skill. This is a weird thing that happens to me-- I get intimidated and insecure by people who are smarter than me, LOL. I know it's strange since I am just a beginning T and he has been one for a long time... so obviously his expertise is just a tad bit greater than mine, LOL... just a tad... haha.. but I have started to feel a bit intimidated. I intend to bring this up to him in the next session. Anyway, my whole point is for you to examine these feelings... and when your T returns, please share them with her. You have a lot of reason to be going through a whole mess of emotions now that you are on your 4th T. Since it will only be your 3rd session, get an early start and begin to work through these feelings! I have faith in you!

BTW, thank you for your PM the other day... I have been busy and didn't get a chance to answer. But I really appreciate you thinking of me.

((Moonkin))

I'm so sorry that your T is going away, after some very painful sessions. You must feel like you left a piece of yourself in her office. I know that's how I feel when my T goes away. I absolutely hate it and am dreading his August vacation.

Hey, 2-3 weeks is not so bad, Kindergirl's T is away for 7 weeks!!

Anyhow, I hope you can last. I know this time seems like forever, but I found that writing poetry and writing letters to T can be helpful. Get a journal going and sharpen your pencil Moonkin...



p.s. 20 views without a response is nothing -- I've gone way past that

Pinksoil, Hope you dont mind me interjecting here, what does LOL mean? and, could you tell me what a pdoc is please?

thank you,

river.x

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RiverX said:

Pinksoil, Hope you dont mind me interjecting here, what does LOL mean? and, could you tell me what a pdoc is please?

thank you,

river.x

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Hello! LOL=Laugh Out Loud.
PDOC=Psychiatrist (psychiatric doctor)