The Couch 115: Corduroy Pillows Are Making Headlines!

Something happened and I can't talk about it.
Not sure how to deal with it.
It's in relation to T.
I'm all over the place concerning it.
Goodness.
So frustrating.
I frustrate myself.

I am baffled at the notion of a therapist appearing authentic and real as being a positive thing. Of course they are going to try to do such a thing - Acting.
I just don't see whether they are authentic or not makes a difference as long as the client is willing to go along with whatever thing the therapist is selling or manipulating.
If I believed the woman believed even a quarter of the crap she says, I would be horrified.

Yup. And when a therapist really is being honest and open, the idea that a client would actually prefer for them to just "act" rather than be authentic to create some sort of illusion just boggles my mind. They're kind of damned if they do and damned if they don't I guess.

Poor therapists.

Why is there no world's smallest violin emoji?

To save me?

I really need to figure out how to sell some electronic equipment on ebay or craigslist or swappa. I have an excess of tablets and have given away to all I can think of. It just seems like so much effort.

Great sarcastic response. But honestly, when I read posts from people who claim to want one thing and then when they actually get it they complain about that too . . .

I just want to say "You got what you asked for. You can't have it both ways."

But then again, there is a reason we are on a psychotherapy forum.

There are websites that will just buy them from you but off the top of my head I can't remember the names of the sites.

I have never asked for authenticity in the interactions with those people myself - I ask merely for acknowledgement of acting/manipulation and self interest.

https://www.gazelle.com/

Try this one, SD. There are others. Not sure that's what you are looking for. They may not offer you much. Heck there are even kiosks in the malls now that do this.

My lethargy is such that the idea of even packing them up and taking them to the post office seems too much effort.
Maybe I should start including a tablet in the bags of smoked meat I drop off.
I really need my summer school class to start.

Mine is authentic, that's for sure. No question in my mind. I hear about some other therapists and it makes me wonder about them when I compare them to mine. Completely different.

But why does it matter if they are? Why is said like that is a positive thing? I have been reading some new books by those guys and it always makes me laugh at how they describe things to each other in their textbooks versus if they are talking to clients. Sometimes in their books - they even talk about how important it is to appear one way even if they are not.

Because I like honesty? I like to know I'm not being played and that she's genuine and a real human not just acting like someone/something to help me 'feel' better. I can't work with people that aren't honest, or who are hiding things. I don't trust them. Even in my every day life. I need to know people I interact with don't have a secondary agenda, to hurt me, manipulate, or lie to me for their gain. If a T was 'acting' it would be for their gain not to my benefit and I could never trust them.

Just my two cents that don't make much sense anyway.

SD, You drop off smoked meat?! Is it random? Do you ding-dong ditch it? How does this work? Is there a list to get on?

What if they were doing it for what they viewed as your gain?

Sometimes in the height of my smoking obsessions - it is almost like ding dong ditch it. I like to do comparisons so when I get a notion - I do something a few different ways. Which creates an excess. My friends are pretty good about trying my experiments.

At least smoked meat is better than chutney.

I don't really like to eat chutney.
I don't like smoked fish either but I have made it for others who seemed to like it (they asked me to do it again - so it may have been real and not just politeness)

Because authenticity allows for openness and trust. I've left a few therapists who were clearly not being authentic, even very early on. The ones I chose to work with long-term were always very straight with me. They didn't sugar-coat things. They didn't pretend to be something/someone they couldn't be for me. Their consistency in their actions (not just their words) demonstrated authenticity and I respected that.

I guess for me, I don't look for authenticity in therapists and the idea of it doesn't add to trust for me. Consistency would be useful -but I don't think consistency is a sign of authenticity.

Sometimes I try saying some of the whackballish things the therapist tries saying at me to my students - and I am always amazed when the students react positively to it. It sometimes makes want to yell at them and tell them I was just making **** up and to not fall for such crap. At other times I am just glad it worked and they left less unhappy than before. But it still saddens me just a bit when it works.

Consistency is huge for me. I don't think a T could be with me as long as mine has 2+ years and fake authenticity and compassion that entire time, but consistency and when she complains about things and is a real person, that helps me trust her.

Then that would be them inferring something I haven't said or putting their 'acting' on me and I wouldn't appreciate it. They could view it as my gain and be wrong. Of course, I don't know what a 'real T' is according to this forum so I could be way off base. I know I don't have normal therapy according to things I've read and seen but I'm getting better and we are real with each other. She tells me what she is doing and why, and we discuss how to proceed forward. She never does something without my 'approval' or understanding.

Okay. If it works for you.
I pay the ones I see to not be real persons. They can be a real person and complain or whatever on their own time.