[LittleMouse]

On Monday I posted about a great session I had where my Therapist and I decided to reduce my sessions to once every two weeks instead of every week like for the past 2 1/2 years. On Monday I felt really good about this and felt like I was ready for the change. Today I am feeling sad and having second thoughts in my heart. I know I am ready to space my sessions out but my heart is very sad in that this change represents the beginning of the end of a relationship that I charish so much. I can not stand the thoughts of loosing my therapist but I know that evantually I will and I'm scared of how I am going to deal with it. I don't know if I can face such a loss but I know that one day I will. I wish we could be friends forever but I know that is not the way and that someday I will have to face this loss no matter how much my heart protests. I know termination is a ways off yet but I can't help but think about it. This is a person I love so much has who has been so significant in my life and I don't know what I will do without him one day. I'm just feeling heart pain today and trying to separate wants from needs. Any help in this area would be greatly appreciated because I am feeling sad and alone today.

LIttlemouse, You don't have to do it right now. you can choose to talk about it for as long as you feel you need to work through it.

Plus you can always go back every 3months or so for a mental health top up.

Anybody changing anything that has become important in their life will not do it with an easy heart.

Even if it takes another 6months of talking about cutting back, whats the harm in that?

If its causing you this much upset then it is just to sudden for you, and you can say that!

Good luck.

[purplemoon]

I can't even imagine cutting back. I am sorry it is so painful. (((( ))))

[LittleMouse]

Thanks purplemoon. I have been trying to tell myself that this is not something that I HAVE to do. That I can take my time as I know that this is a big change for me. Your words of encouragement mean a lot and help me so much. I don't plan to cut back to twice a week until September. Will spend the time between now and then talking about it and processing the feelings. My therapist tells me that it is OK to take as long as I need. Maybe I'm just not being gentle enough with myself and feeling like this is something I have to do.

[sunrise]

(((((littleMouse)))))

[sidony]

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LittleMouse said:
I know I am ready to space my sessions out but my heart is very sad in that this change represents the beginning of the end of a relationship that I charish so much. I can not stand the thoughts of loosing my therapist but I know that evantually I will and I'm scared of how I am going to deal with it. I don't know if I can face such a loss but I know that one day I will.

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Hey LittleMouse!

Sorry things are so hard. Take your time with the decision! I personally don't intend to stop therapy until / unless my therapist retires. I just find it really helpful and want it to be a permanent part of my life. I know others won't agree and think it's best to eventually terminate. But do what's right for you! If you try going every 2 weeks and it makes you miserable, then go back to once a week! Or wait a while and talk about it more before reducing your sessions.

Take care of yourself.
Sidony

[Christina86]

((((((LittleMouse))))))))))

I know that I've only been in therapy for the past two years and I was seeing my previous therapist every single week and then it was the same thing with the next person... and then I had to switch to every two weeks and it HURT. It hurts to think about losing someone that is that important to you ... I think everyone else can give better advice than I can (since I haven't been in therapy that long) but I just wanted to give you a hug and let you know that I do sorta understand. If I can ever help you out, even by just listening - let me know.

[Caramee]

(((LittleMouse)))

May I say ever so gently that it doesn't sound like you're ready for this change yet? Is there a reason that you think you need to do this now?

I sometimes have wanted to ease off on the sessions b/c I know that one day it will be over. And, I think if *I* choose when, it will somehow be less painful because I have control over it. But if he has been helpful and it's still such a significant part of your life, I don't see the reason to make a forced withdrawal unless there is something I don't know.

I just hate to have you feel the pain of separation if you don't have to. Why is it wrong if you just want to go as often as you do? Why is that so bad? I think you should honor those sad feelings and reconsider your decision.

[LittleMouse]

I don't know why I feel like I need to cut back...could be the control issue. As long as I am in control of how often we see each other than there is more security in knowing that I want be "left". I feel like I am in a fairly good place emotionally (except for this) and that somehow a demonstration of my progress requires less frequent visits just to know I can do it. I know that sounds kind of screwed up but it is how I think. I'm also scared that one day my insurance is going to run out and then I will be forced into less frequent visits. I do worry about that. Also my therapist is going to retire in about two years and I guess I'm trying to get ready for that possibility also. Man until you asked the question I had not given it much thought but it does seem like something I feel like I have to do instead of something I want to do. I will have to consider is some more and maybe talk about it with my therapist. I think I can deal with not seeing him but every two weeks...that's not the issue, the issues is that is signifies "endings" and I'm not very good at those. Thanks for your insights and I will give them serious thought.