Dear Client

^
Did i really write that

Annie,
Please don't do anything stupid. You know what "stupid" means. You've come so far... don't mess it up.
T

Annie,
What did I tell you about being stupid?! Why don't you listen to me? Why do you insist on self-destructing when you have all the tools for success right in front of you?
T

You aren't stupid, Annie.

---
Daisy,
Did you reflect on what it is that causes you to not have deep, meaningful relationships with other people? Because I can't be that person for you. I just can't. It'll only hurt you in the end.

-RoboT

Oh Art, just ask. I won't be mad. Remember I told you a long time ago "you can always ask." That is still true.
T

Annie,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't know what to do. But I will stick with you. I promise not to give up on you.
Love, T

WHAT, you're still doing that?!?

My pdoc after I told her about my SH (reason I'm in therapy basically) for the 4th time. *insert swear words*

Eta: at least she was able to remember that SH is a topic... not like the last 3times

Art, you are one messed up chick, you know that? Leave me the hell alone. I already said you could come today. Wasn't that enough? Why are you so damn needy and asking for clarification?? I'm beginning to hate you and wish you would just go away. T

I am scared we're getting too close and don't know what to do about it

Ellah,

The human me wants you to be able to stay in my office as long as you want, and as long as I want you to - however, ethically I cannot allow that to happen. I need to push you out of the nest and you need to realize you can move forward without me. Trust me, it hurts me too.

Duchess

Dear client,

Why don't you trust me? Why do you keep so much from me? It seems like some weeks you share so much and other weeks you are afraid. What's up?

(ok this is closer to the truth than the last one I wrote)

Art,

Thank you for sharing all that yesterday. I meant it when I said you'd really done some soul-searching. I am glad that we felt like a team again. And don't you dare wear a wig next time! It felt good to laugh together again. Yes, you are strong enough now for this part of your work. It takes strength to observe yourself the way you have in the past 3 weeks. Do not doubt that!!
Love, T

Hi Lost,

I hope you've been keeping safe these last few weeks. Remember 'You are safe, within our sessions, to go as slow and as deep as is OK for you.'

See you on the 24th,

R

Annie,
I know why your depression seems incurable. It's not my fault -- I'm holding up my end of the bargain. I support you, I give you coping mechanisms, I show you how to take care of yourself. Yet you continue to wreck your life by skipping class and ditching work and drinking too much and abusing medication and not eating. No wonder you're not happy!!! If you could just get your ***** together, you'd be FINE. You don't need therapy. You just need some self control.
T

QM,

Yes, like I said to you on session, I care about you even when you're not in front of me. But strictly at work and only for brief moments when I think about your case when doing related paperwork. After all, I've 40+ clients to juggle and I focus fully on the client in session with me, and I care about their cases too when I do their paperwork.

And I rather focus on my colleagues, bosses, clinical supervisor, my own therapist.

And when I'm off work, I focus on my friends and family.

Why the F are you texting me about my unborn child at 1am

Daisy,

You're insufferable. Everyone knows that your stunt over the weekend was a pathetic attempt at getting my attention. Are you happy that it worked?

I don't even know why I asked you to come back. I should have just said good riddance instead.

RoboT

Happy birthday!
You saw my like...So you know I'm thinking of you!

Dear LT,
I do care about you. But you know what? I just don't feel like dealing with you right now. Take the hint and stop texting me. I have a real life, and no, you are not part of that.
MC

MBM,

How much is it going to take to get you to understand my POV? You don't bother me. I don't get angry; I'm pretty chill. You're not going to freak me out, seriously. The last few sessions, you've asked for more, asking for more to feel connected.

Why do you have such a hard time responding to my emails? You've said they are helpful, so I'm willing to continue, but I need at least acknowledgement that you received it. I don't understand why this is so difficult for you to just send back "received" or something. Really.

I know we're not meeting next Monday. I'm sorry about that. I know now how hard it is for you to miss a week. I'm worried now because of what happened last winter when we missed a couple weeks. That's why I said it was truly okay if you emailed this week.

Sometimes I wonder why we're STILL dealing with these attachment issues. Yes, you've had a lot of therapists "abandon" you, but your family life was great growing up. How is this holding on so hard?

Please know that I'm not angry at you. Yes, I'm a little irritated that you won't just respond to my emails, but it's because I worry and want to know that my email didn't make things worse.

Please email me this week if you need to.

T

You're more trouble than you're worth.

These actually ARE from my T:

-----

TMC,

I haven’t read the letter to S (ExT) part of your email yet. But I wanted to respond to you on the first part, and my computer battery is almost dead.

I don’t want you to contact S, though I’m guessing you might, if you haven’t already. I’m jealous of your feelings towards S, though you already may know that. How do you feel about it?

Also, I want you to eat. I don’t want you to be perfect. I want you to be TMC. I want TMC.

C

-----

TMC,

I think I expressed my feelings poorly in my email to you last night, and I want to apologize to you for it and, hopefully, clarify.

Specifically, I think “jealous” was a not very accurate way to describe my feelings about your feelings about S (ExT). I think more to the point would be this: I feel a longing for you to have some of the feelings you have for S with me.

C

-----

TMC,

Unfortunately I just have a few minutes this morning before a full day, but wanted to briefly respond.

I’m scared too. Not because I worry that either of us will be damaged by our relationship (that’s what the relationship boundaries are there to protect), but because you are right: I am vulnerable. In my view, your experiences with S, along with the kind of attachment-based counseling relationship you want with me, makes that pretty unavoidable. So we will work with it.

I think its kind that you feel the urge to protect me and not hurt me. And you can choose to do things towards those ends if you wish, but I want to be clear: I give you full permission to do things that hurt me. In fact, that is unavoidable, as it is in any close relationship. My promise to you, and what I ask you to trust, is that I will not be angry with you or withdrawal from you for any thoughts, feelings or actions (within our boundaries) on your part.

So…contact S or not, as you see fit. What you do will impact me, and the impact on me will impact you. And that is what you and I will base our counseling on.

C

I'm enjoying my life and I don't need you, so bye

Dear Butterfly,

You really scared me yesterday. Stay safe.

-T

T wrote something like this on a card:
_______________
QM,

Be brave to accept harsh realities. Know that you are not defined by them alone.