Dear Client

Annie,
You will never get better because you're YOU. You may have mental illnesses, but your biggest problem is yourself. You could be completely normal in all other ways but you'd still have problems because of who you are intrinsically. No point in wasting money in therapy trying to fix what can't be fixed. Just give up.
T

Dear ATAT,

I'm not sorry to see you go. Every session we had I would end up with writer's cramp from taking so many notes to document everything for when you make a complaint against me.

CW

If I take everything away from you. I mean your family, your friends, your job at the pharmacy, your dog, everything you ever loved in your life. If I do that, will you still be my client? Will you still worship me? I don't think I could live without your understanding my desire to control your every move. I have many residual problems caused by a brain tumor that was removed. I'm able to fool most of my clients but not you.

Dear Jersey,
I'm so glad you never contacted me again. I knew pulling that little stunt of sending you a formal termination letter after you told me you were done would do the trick!

Dear XT,
No, you just didn't want to hear that what you were doing was no longer working. You couldn't handle it and that's why you never returned my call. You have a set of issues all your own and I hope you are getting the help you need!

P.S-I'm doing better without giving you my money every week. I win.

Annie,
I know you've been lying to me. I know you have been withholding important things that I need to know. But I can't read your ****ing mind! Why can't you just tell me? Do you even want to get better?
T

Dear Elio, you are right. I am glad that this transference is broken. Maybe now we can stop with all the childish behaviors and you'll leave me alone. - Dr S.

Annie,
Thank you for opening up today. I know it was scary. I'm proud of you.
Love, T

You shouldn't have done that.
I'm disappointed.

Fixed it...

Dear ATAT,

You're very good at the work part of therapy, but not so good at the love part of it.

Somewhere your friend una is nodding in agreement.

CW (first line an actual quote or near enough)

Dear Amyjay,
We should get those joint sessions with your new t set up really soon. She knows how to treat you more than i do. I know your attached to me so we can do it at your pace. but lets get it started.

Can you please be normal again you're annoying me

Daisy,

When I asked you what you were thinking last week, and you said you were just thinking about how alike we are, I knew you were lying. Haven't I proven to you that we can talk about anything? That I'm a safe space? Please don't shut me out now.

-roboT

You're so ugly, how can you live with it? Nevermind.
I can't help you. You're annoying and weird. Never come again, ok?

How does your family put up with you? Do you even spend time with them with all the caregivers you have? I hope you're not snappy with them as you are with me. I'm getting paid to put up with it after all. See you next week...bring your checkbook.

Dear Ms. Lizette

I thought I could help you but my boss the head doctor thinks you are too screwed up for me to help. In all honesty he never liked you, so in many ways my life is easier at work when I don't have to ask him for permission for giving you extra sessions and going over time.

Ms. Lizette, in the short time I got to know you I shifted between thinking you were too healthy to have that diagnosis only to realize it was just a mask I couldn't understand.

I hoped I could help you but now that you have been tranferred to another unit I am glad I don't have to continue trying to figure you out. It made me tired.

As you know, I have had great success treating rat phobias and other issues, but not with BPD. I am not sure how good I am at this.

Good bye, forever.

P

Dear Waterbear,

I wish that things could have been different for you, I really do. I don't know where I am going with this right now, and I understand if that makes it confusing for you, and I am sorry for that.

A part of me just wants to be able to take all of that away from you, all that hurt and repressed anger, but the sensible side of me knows that you need to really go through it, with a witness, in order to really heal from it and move on with your incredible life.

I want that witness to be me, because of the work that we have both done in building this secure relationship, and I hope that you can continue to trust me in order to do this.

I don't want to jeopardise this either, I really don't, but I am having to work on not getting enmeshed with you. I am fond of you, and I have to remain aware that your interests are what matter here, not mine.

Because of that, this can never be a 'mutual' relationship. Not so long as you want me as your T, anyway, and I think that I can help you, so I do want to be this for you.

It is difficult, isn't it. Like I said a while ago, I think the yearning and wanting is an incredibly hard part of therapy, especially when it is reciprocated.

But I believe that we can do this, together, the right way, to help you. We just need to figure out together what that is.

I think I am starting to love you too, you know. Emotions aren't always clear cut, and sometimes they take a while to figure out, to navigate.

Growly darlin'

I know we seem to have this great rapport but the truth is you only exist in one moment of time for me. You are an easy end to my day and week. You don't ask much and you rarely show anger. You are my way to end a week nothing more. When you actually need anything I get anxious. Those hugs are as much for me as they are for you.
We're still good, right?

What is your name again?

Hi Lost,

I will do my best to keep you safe while we are discussing 'June 2007' again this week. You do realise that you don't have to hold it together for my benefit? I can handle it, whatever 'it' is. Remember, be kind to yourself.

See you on Thursday,

R

Why did you text me happy father's day

I ain't your dad, child

But thanks =)

Hi Art, did you figure it out yet?!

Dear Satsuma,
I think about you really often as well. And I wish too that I could have been there and helped you at those horrible moments, for real, not just in the imagery. I would have been able to stand up for you and I would have called the police as well.
But I can't tell you that I have those thoughts too, because it's not my job as your T. My job as your T is to help you become empowered, so that one day you will feel that you don't need me any more. Then I will know that I've done a good job.

Daisy,

I meant it when I said that I was honored that you were able to share with me what you did. I know it took a lot of courage for you to say what you said. I am not abandoning you. I am not rejecting you. I will be back like I said I would. I care. I thought about you in between sessions and everything!

Please take care of yourself. I'm not inclined to clean up the mess that is Daisy when I get back.

-roboT

Annie,
Why do you keep paying for sessions to talk about your eating disorder if you're not even going to try to get better? You frustrate me endlessly. There's no point in treating someone who doesn't want to get better. Your eating disorder will kill you and I probably won't even be sad to see you go. I wish the clinic would let me terminate with you.
T