[annielovesbacon]

I don't know why, but in my mind (this has NEVER been suggested by my T) there are some things that I can't talk about in therapy. I go to therapy for depression and anxiety, and I feel like I can only talk about those things directly. I avoid talking about my relationships or things that have happened recently, because to me, then it just feels like I'm paying to vent for an hour, and that's not what I want.
But I recognize this is silly, because my depression/anxiety affects all aspects of my life and I should be able to talk about all aspects with my T. But I can't. Does anyone else feel like this?

[stopdog]

I found out rather soon the woman could not be trusted with all aspects of anything. I limit her now to the two areas I know she can handle. I don't find it odd at all that there are some things that would not be prudent to talk to those people about.

[growlycat]

My therapists have all had thier strengths and weaknesses. Some were better at some topics than others.

You can try bringing up other things and see how it goes

[captgut]

Well, i feel like i can only talk about "important" things like delusion, depression,

Possible trigger:

strong suicidal thoughts, cutting

and so on.

I think "Can i talk about my parents? Or something else so unimportant? May be no...".
Sometimes i talk about such a "unimportant" things, but i also say "it's really unimportant, sorry, i shouldn't have said that... ". Feeling very guilty...

[Elio]

So far I have not been able to talk about a few things. The ones that come to mind are: intrusive violent thoughts and dreams (I've declared these off limits though she knows I have them), body betrayals, some soothing tools I use, and sexual items. I'm sure there are a few others.

There are many things that I inch my way into to sharing over several sessions/months. My t is very clear that I do not have to talk about or share anything that I don't want to; that she trusts me to know if/when I should talk about something.

[retro_chic]

My T literally said to me once "You can talk about anything you like in here. You could talk about jelly sandwiches if you wanted to" haha. I do know what you mean though, I feel as though I can't ask T questions about herself. The sort of things I want to ask are if she sees her own therapist, why did she choose to become a therapist and what made her choose her particular modality (psychodynamic self-psychology). T may not answer the questions but I should be allowed to ask them.

[CharlieStarDust]

I struggled a bit too at first, because i thought it meant I was "better" and would not see T anymore. Sometimes talking about the little things feels wasteful, but that's part of being a whole person, right?
Also, sometimes it's good to vent to shrink - you never know what they might pick up on. I think it would only be an issue if that's all you were doing.

[retro_chic]

I forgot to say earlier that sometimes things that you thought were "small" issues can turn out to bigger than you thought when you start exploring them deeper. I find this happening a lot in my own therapy and although it can be overwhelming, it has taught me there really is no such thing as a "small" issue.

I can remember being hesitant to talk about anything other than my depression. The first time I wanted to talk about something else, I even made a joke about it because I was so uncomfortable. Something along the lines of -- I need to talk about my mother. I know that is super unusual in therapy but ...

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

I don't know why, but in my mind (this has NEVER been suggested by my T) there are some things that I can't talk about in therapy. I go to therapy for depression and anxiety, and I feel like I can only talk about those things directly. I avoid talking about my relationships or things that have happened recently, because to me, then it just feels like I'm paying to vent for an hour, and that's not what I want.
But I recognize this is silly, because my depression/anxiety affects all aspects of my life and I should be able to talk about all aspects with my T. But I can't. Does anyone else feel like this?

Does your therapist give indications of only wanting to talk about depression/anxiety in a very limited way? Because I don't see how it's very effective to resolve those symptoms if they are only talked about in the abstract and not in real life terms (as in, daily events and interactions). It's sort of like going to a doctor for a broken arm from a car accident and only talking about how the arm is doing, and not the associated shoulder pain or nerve damage that affects the rest of the body.

I am surprised to see so many people leave things out. Maybe I am doing it wrong. I can't think of anything I don't talk about. I haven't found any of it to be irrelevant to why I'm there. A couple weeks ago, I got irritated because my therapist asked me an obvious question about what something meant to me and she said (in response to my irritation) that it may seem obvious but every little bit of extra information helps fill in the picture for her.

[Elio]

OH, and back to your original questions - I'm just the opposite. It's pretty easy for me to go in and just talk the hour away with the list of things that happened throughout my week, keeping everything very much just at the surface. I can get myself to talk about deeper things as long as we don't really label it or talk directly about what it is those things mean for a very long time. For example, my transference - I inched and dribbled pieces of it into my journaling over several months (a journal that I give her to read) before I said I was feeling any of that stuff verbally. It was still a couple months later before we talked about transference as a separate entity. It was about 9 months before I actually admitted to how depressed and

Possible trigger:

suicidal

I was when I first went to see her. And only last week that we seriously talked about OCD and Asperger's traits (we are at 15 months). However, I did tackle the gender stuff starting about month 5.

So, I guess I am just the opposite here.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

I don't know why, but in my mind (this has NEVER been suggested by my T) there are some things that I can't talk about in therapy. I go to therapy for depression and anxiety, and I feel like I can only talk about those things directly. I avoid talking about my relationships or things that have happened recently, because to me, then it just feels like I'm paying to vent for an hour, and that's not what I want.
But I recognize this is silly, because my depression/anxiety affects all aspects of my life and I should be able to talk about all aspects with my T. But I can't. Does anyone else feel like this?

I don't speak about everything with my T. I know from my previous sessions that she considers my venting to be nonsense talk and that I'm not talking about tea things. There are things that I can't discuss because way too personal and sort of embarrassing. I'm trying to get passed that but it's difficult. Then I feel now that if I vent then she will get upset or bored. I try not to that either. Now I'm like stuck between what do I say and wants not considered venting. I think to her venting is similar to whining. I don't want to appear that way. It's all confusing. Inthinknthat as long as I'm venting or any type of speaking then that helps decreasing my anxiety. Sometimes when I ramble I say meaningful things.

[calibreeze22]

I've been struggling with this. I am usually way too open with everyone, but with current T I can't seem to get past the surface of most things and can't approach sex at all (I couldn't even do it before I admitted the ET). I'm annoyed by it and she seems to be, too. Her apparent irritation is actually clamming me up more, because I figure if she's judging my silence, surely she'll judge what I say. As we enter our 16th month, though, I think I'm frustrated with myself enough to finally just let it all out and leave her to sort through it. Hopefully. Maybe.

[kecanoe]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

My T literally said to me once "You can talk about anything you like in here. You could talk about jelly sandwiches if you wanted to" haha. I do know what you mean though, I feel as though I can't ask T questions about herself. The sort of things I want to ask are if she sees her own therapist, why did she choose to become a therapist and what made her choose her particular modality (psychodynamic self-psychology). T may not answer the questions but I should be allowed to ask them.

I actually think t should answer those questions. The answers have to do with the therapy she provides. For some people, a t who doesn't/hasn't seen a t themselves is not one to enter into therapy with. And style of therapy is also something that I think a t should be very willing to discuss. Plans for Christmas or preferences in dating partners or ages of kids-those type of questions I would be ok with t not answering.

[kecanoe]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

I don't know why, but in my mind (this has NEVER been suggested by my T) there are some things that I can't talk about in therapy. I go to therapy for depression and anxiety, and I feel like I can only talk about those things directly. I avoid talking about my relationships or things that have happened recently, because to me, then it just feels like I'm paying to vent for an hour, and that's not what I want.
But I recognize this is silly, because my depression/anxiety affects all aspects of my life and I should be able to talk about all aspects with my T. But I can't. Does anyone else feel like this?

I figure it's my session, to use however I want. Often just talking about the last week will lead into some interesting things to talk about.

If fact T3 is really only interested in how my symptoms have shown up in the last week. She says that if it is interfering with my life now, we should address it. If it doesn't affect my week, then why mess with it.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

I forgot to say earlier that sometimes things that you thought were "small" issues can turn out to bigger than you thought when you start exploring them deeper. I find this happening a lot in my own therapy and although it can be overwhelming, it has taught me there really is no such thing as a "small" issue.

Agreed--there have been times I've started talking about something I thought was small, then started crying and realized it was bigger than I'd thought. Or T (or MC) might notice a repeating pattern with things, which is worth exploring.

[bounceback]

I don't think anything should be off limits. I talked about everything and anything that felt relevant. It took me awhile to talk about certain topics though. It is best to talk about them even if they are just a fleeting thought before they become a huge issue. I learned this the hard way. If a therapist limits you to only be able to talk about certain things then maybe you need to find one that doesn't. Anything is supposed to be okay to talk about.

[bounceback]

Originally Posted by bounceback

I don't think anything should be off limits. I talked about everything and anything that felt relevant. It took me awhile to talk about certain topics though. It is best to talk about them even if they are just a fleeting thought before they become a huge issue. I learned this the hard way. If a therapist limits you to only be able to talk about certain things then maybe you need to find one that doesn't. Anything is supposed to be okay to talk about.

What is the point of therapy if it isn't okay to talk about what is bothering you? The less secrets you have the better off you are and the less shame you carry around.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Does your therapist give indications of only wanting to talk about depression/anxiety in a very limited way? Because I don't see how it's very effective to resolve those symptoms if they are only talked about in the abstract and not in real life terms (as in, daily events and interactions). It's sort of like going to a doctor for a broken arm from a car accident and only talking about how the arm is doing, and not the associated shoulder pain or nerve damage that affects the rest of the body.]

None of this comes from my T -- I'm sure she would encourage me to talk about whatever I wanted. I just feel like I box myself in, because I feel like I should or shouldn't talk about certain things.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

I actually think t should answer those questions. The answers have to do with the therapy she provides. For some people, a t who doesn't/hasn't seen a t themselves is not one to enter into therapy with. And style of therapy is also something that I think a t should be very willing to discuss. Plans for Christmas or preferences in dating partners or ages of kids-those type of questions I would be ok with t not answering.

Yeah, I know these are things that are appropriate to ask but I get nervous about it for some reason... I'm pretty sure my T would answer them actually but I also want to prepare myself for the possibility that she won't and the disappointment that would cause me.

[velcro003]

There are many things I can't talk about in therapy--but that is ALL because of me. My T has told me time and time again that I can talk about absolutely anything and everything, and I believe her. I actually am going to try and bring up a tough topic on monday, just don't know if I'll be able to.

[runlola72]

Originally Posted by velcro003

There are many things I can't talk about in therapy--but that is ALL because of me. My T has told me time and time again that I can talk about absolutely anything and everything, and I believe her. I actually am going to try and bring up a tough topic on monday, just don't know if I'll be able to.

I am the same. I've been told by T that I should be able to discuss ANYTHING with him. Some of the more delicate matters concerning my past are hard to talk about, so I email them and that has worked out. He is very adept at delicately referencing those emails until I become more comfortable talking about them in person. But there are still some things that are TOO embarrassing to discuss, like the fact that despite the fact that I have massive paternal transference to him, I also have a small (sometimes more intense) crush on him. I beat around the bush a lot and he probably knows, but I really doubt I can ever talk about this. I actually think this might be close to off-limits to T, though he wouldn't like to admit it. He'd probably address it and then want to quickly move on.

[SoConfused623]

I can talk about absolutely anything that I want to talk about with my T and I take her up on it. We have talked many times about sex or sex related stuff and she's great. She is non-judgemental and has never made me feel ashamed of anything. There was a time where I felt that I over-shared and was really embarrassed and we talked about it. She said that it wasn't that I over-shared it was that I probably shared before I was ready.

She's also great about not pressuring me to talk about things until I am sure that I'm ready. She doesn't ever seem to dig around trying to get me to reveal things either.

I think that I've got a great T and really like her with the exception of her blank slate style but she is working on not shutting me down when I ask a question.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by SoConfused623

I can talk about absolutely anything that I want to talk about with my T and I take her up on it. We have talked many times about sex or sex related stuff and she's great. She is non-judgemental and has never made me feel ashamed of anything. There was a time where I felt that I over-shared and was really embarrassed and we talked about it. She said that it wasn't that I over-shared it was that I probably shared before I was ready.

She's also great about not pressuring me to talk about things until I am sure that I'm ready. She doesn't ever seem to dig around trying to get me to reveal things either.

I think that I've got a great T and really like her with the exception of her blank slate style but she is working on not shutting me down when I ask a question.

This my T also, though I shudder at the thought about trying to discuss anything sexual with her. She has tried once and I was like 'LA LA LA, I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT,' and that was that ;D

My T is very open and non-blank slate, which is refreshing for me coming from a blank slate T in which I wasn't able to open up at all.