Couch 129: The Semiprime Couch

Sangria for anyone interested. Special couch-colored sangria in case you spill it.

Not spilling mine. Every....last....drop

I could share some Stone Go-To IPA!

Idea for a thread...what drink would your t be? And you have to give your home brew a name that is hilariously therapisty

So start it already! We could use a fun thread.

I can just see it now, a cocktail called Attachment - grape juice, vodka, white sugar, and a lemon wedge stuck to the rim.

And someone can design a Long Island Iced T.

Going along with what I'm drinking now and something that marriage counselor often says to me as reassurance, I think his drink would be, "It's OK IPA." Of course, that might work too well for marketing purposes, since it might sound like, "Eh, the beer is OK, but not great." (He's said he's a beer drinker, too, but doesn't drink often now). Or perhaps "You Can Handle It Pilsner."

T would have to be a red wine, since I know that's what she drinks and it fits with her rather polished and sophisticated look. Hm, maybe a Shiraz (I'm not a red wine fan though, but it sounds sophisticated). Feeling Safe Shiraz? (She talks about how I don't seem to feel safe in life.) Or, hm, because there was a time she said she knew I wanted validation but she wouldn't give it: No-Validation Shiraz?

Growly, you have to do this. I just found a cocktail called the Woo Woo (vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry juice).

My T cocktail will be called Grist for the Mill.

I've actually had one of those before...

And that reminds me how my H took one of those Strengths tests for work (Gallup maybe?), and one of his was "woo." So he'll talk about having the "woo."

Ok ok new thread coming soon all funny you all made me laugh!!

For anyone who doesn't mind political humor my friend sent me this

Is there room under the couch for me

I am under here felting cat toys out of dust bunnys wanna help?

Not a good evening here at my house. Earlier after son got home from his night class he told me "bad news, mom. the lady from the accident in December told me that she told me wrong about the amount of the estimate. Instead of $1070, it's actually $1700." And so hubby heard that and now he is going to get involved and he wants to try to talk her down and I and my son both said we should just pay her and be done with it already and son needed to do his homework but h would not let it go and i tried to explain to him in the other room why we should just pay it and be done and he started getting all annoyed and yelling at me and I reacted badly and left the room and when to move the laundry from the washer to the drier and I was mumbling under my breath at h not knowing son had come out into the hallway and he heard me mutter something about "I don't want to be married anymore" and that set him off and then I didn't know what to do and h started talking to him and I had to go outside so they wouldn't know I was bawling and everything was a huge mess. I waited until I stopped crying and came back inside and went and apologized to my son for what he heard, I told him I did not intend for him to hear that, that I was just very frustrated that his Dad wasn't listening to our thoughts and reasons for just paying the woman, that I am not leaving, and we talked for about an hour about him feeling so f'd up in his head and all of the things he wants to try to talk about with his t when he starts going again on Friday, he had a lot to say, and I feel like such a horrible person that he heard what I muttered under my breath and how much it hurt him to hear that. I am also feeling like an extremely selfish and terrible mother that I have been so focused on working through my own **** that I didn't even see how much pain my own child has been in, things are quite a mess in my house tonight, I hope my son can get some sleep, because I don't think I will. I have been so terribly selfish and I don't know how I live with that I just don't.

((((Art))))

You aren't selfish art. Your husband needs to own up to his part in the relationship. The other day he drove you crazy with his misplaced anger then acted like nothing was wrong. Your son sounds like a great kid and old enough to work it out in therapy on his own. Try to get some sleep Not sleeping makes everything worse

I've been ruminating about work. This meditation helps.

Art - I don't know which would be more useful to you right now - "There there I am sorry it is so rough" OR
"Stop, breathe and remember you have not been a bad mother. Throwing yourself on some self-sacrificial pyre for imagined and/or exaggerated wrongs is possibly a tad over the top. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. You being miserable and overly self sacrificing will not help your son or yourself"

Seriously - no parent is perfect, offspring do have troubles no matter what the parent does (and it is not - seriously not- good to protect them from all bad feelings). You all have a plan for getting him some counseling and he lives at home and you all are helping him with his car, etc. He does not have a bad situation - even if he needs some therapy to help him deal with his feelings.

*passes wine to art and BCM under the Couch*

I've got insomnia too. I am thinking of getting up to practice some yoga poses I have trouble with.

thanks growly. you're right my h needs to own up to his part too.

and SD definitely the "stop, breathe and remember...." bit is what I needed to hear. you're right, no parent is perfect and we're getting him counseling to help - it's just seeing the pain in his eyes and hearing it in his voice just made my heart feel like it was breaking into a million little pieces and at the moment, it being entirely my fault was all I could see.

Thanks for the wine, atat *passes the tray to BCM next*

I am trying very hard not to think that my son deserves a better mother than me.

You've raised a good man art. And letting him figure out some stuff on is own is part of becoming an adult. It doesn't have to be all or nothing with his treatment or yours.

*focusing on helping BCM felt cat toys out of dust bunnies while sipping wine under the couch and wondering, can we sell these things on etsy?*

https://www.google.com/amp/m.huffpos...?client=safari

Dust bunny art is a thing

He is. I just feel so guilty. I guess in my heart he'll always be my little boy and I want to protect him from everything bad. But I can't. The world doesn't work that way. And I have to accept it. I have to somehow make myself see that I raised an intelligent young man who knows himself well enough to know he needs help and who trusts me enough to tell me, and to ask me to help him get that help. I love him so much it just hurts you know?

thank you so much for that. it was just what i needed right now!!

Think of it this way art, he is learning to deal with pain while he still has parental support and a roof over his head. It's good to learn now with support so that later in life he will be better prepared on his own. Being too protected can be as damaging as being not protected enough.