Couch 129: The Semiprime Couch

I think the couch should write an expose titled something like "t's are like pop tarts and other silly-sounding truths" and una you could be the editor!

I say this, because I'm beginning to be in agreement as well. T's not real. Last time I got the notion in my head as I was looking at her that it's like she's sitting behind a huge pane of glass, unreachable, untouchable. That may be a tad unfair of me because she has appeared to have been touched by things I've shared in the past, but.... yeah it is what it is. I'm planning to do a sand tray today when I go and am prepared with that image in mind, I went to the dollar store and bought a little picture frame that I removed the glass from and am bringing with me for that purpose. I don't recall seeing any small pieces of glass in her sand play shelves, so now there shall be one.

oh, and good morning by the way! (or whatever time of day it is where you are!)

I hope everyone has a good day, and here's a hug for whoever needs one!

I've already posted this in my "new member introduction", but i want it to be here too

When i was depressed i felt terrible, and thought


Now i feel ok, but... i just don't think i have to live this life. When my T asked "What's the meaning of life?" i always answered "Life's the meaning of life" and he liked it very much. Well... idk what has changed. Life became too boring to live it. I can see happy people all around, but i feel like everything and everyone are in another reality, or on the other side of the glass, or like i am the alien...I can't understand this reality and i can't live here. But i think all the others can be happy, because this reality is good enough. It's just not for me.

Is it ok to feel this way?

It must be Opposite Day for me because I have gone to the other side of where I've been on this. Please don't anyone burst my bubble though, because it's a nice feeling to have. I feel like I've come through a dense, foggy swampland and I like where this place is much better.

Eh, for me its prolly just due to my recent letting go of the fantasies about our relationship, and nothing more...

Me too. I'd usually be watching the feelings come to a gory, abrupt end but this time, I know exactly what transpired that led to the current state and so, I'm holding on to that and trying not to get freaked out.

Just stay the course, guys. See where it takes you. It might be an important step forward.

I sure as heck hope DBC doesn't have a sheet of glass in front of her, because my fantasy of giving her one in the kisser does not include bloodying myself while doing it.

I feel weird slipping pills in my cats food

That is a lot better than manually feeding them to the cat.

Junior cat and new cat say to tell Sir Toby to eat up and get well soon!

Yeah, he gouged my leg yesterday. I have to give him a liquid oral antibiotic every 12 hours. If he sees me prepping it he goes in attack.mode. I have to do a sneak surprise attack

Hi, couch.

I am up and at school job in my little room. It is quiz day in Squirrel Teacher's room today, so I may actually get some kiddos.

Have T today, not sure what I will tell her about the whole pdoc situation. Maybe I won't tell her anything...but then again, she can usually tell when I am holding things back. Pdoc and T again next week as well. Pdoc should be interesting being that I've never had just a "check-in" with him, it's always been medication management appointments. Wonder how that will go.

I think the additional shot is finally starting to take effect. My thoughts are no longer racing as fast as they were earlier this week and last week. That's probably a good thing.

Well, I am going to go check on my online master's class. Be back later couch.

Early release day today, so time should go quickly.

Wrap him in a towel? Sneak up on him when he's asleep?

someone pls tell me smth
like "ah it's totally ok to feel like an alien behind the glass"
or maybe
"it's not ok, you shouldn't have stopped taking meds"

he doesnt like the towel thing. hes very calm and good for other people. at the vet they all remarked how easy he was to deal with. that was probably because he was so scared. when i do it he feels no need to restrain himself from biting and clawing me... he is a lot more rough with me than other people!!

i usually try to do it when hes standing on his cat tower looking out of the window. i come up behind him and open his mouth and just squirt it in there super fast. i always apologize to him afterwards

i was worried the pills would be difficult but he eats them right up. probably helps that they are small and tasteless

It's okay. Art reported on being behind a glass as well (see her post prior to yours). I'm not one for meds (had enough of that for years), so can't speak to the other.

im sure he has noticed too. i lost around . i also think he is waiting for me to bring it up. he knows its a very touchy subject for me... and angers me when he comments on it

I've felt like this too. My life feels like a movie. Like some 2 night special on the Lifetime network

captgut - do you have a therapist? Tell them. Feeling like an alien behind glass towards everyone and everything, or like the world isn't real, can be a sign of an impending breakdown. Not saying it is in your case, but someone who knows better than me should know about it.

(Art - I am not addressing you here - your experience seems to be just with the therapist and not the world, and it's her behind the glass, not you.)

The first flowers of Spring.



They make my heart smile.

Actually its not me - it's my t i see as behind the glass. Similar and yet very, very different...

Lunch period. I ate a small lunch...I was not hungry, but eating is important. I am free in my little room all period as the math teachers have planning this period, so no kids can be sent to me. Lol. 40 minutes to do as I please. Then will be 5th "hour" (3rd period this week) which is one of Squirrel Teacher's honors classes, so it is unlikely I will get any kiddos. So, it looks like I am free as a bird to do my masters course work until 1:40 when I get to head to my 2nd (and last) push in class of the day. Then I will have my small little room at the end of the day for last "hour" (which is Squirrel Teacher's other honors class). I'm not minding my small little room today. Maybe because it is a short day and because I get to escape 2 periods of the day this semester. I dunno.

(((Squirrel))) we're there with you in spirit, at least!

I saw a preview last night of the superbowl ads, and there is a cute one for godaddy where they show the internet as this tall skinny guy. He wakes up, comes down the stairs, and is dodging kitties riding around on roombahs!

I hope they are better this year than last year since I am going to a super bowl party. I will only stay until half time at best

I must be making some progress on my antipathy to touch, I was willing to stick my head between my yoga teacher's legs this morning so she could help me do a handstand.

I don't think I've been in that position vis-a-vis another woman since birth.

Definitely making some progress on something! I have to go take a cold shower now. Between this and my new little chiropractor who looks like Ryan Gosling, im gonna have to increase my dose of saltpeter.