Couch 136: Transference Welcome!

Thank you Daisy - and the same to you!

All's well so far, about to get the bus back.

Woke up with painful swollen lips. Not sure what to do about this. Going to get lots of questions at work (have you had lip injections? Did a bee sting you? Who punched you in the mouth?) can't wait! This might be the stupidest reason yet but I'll have to go to the doctor, grrrr.

I went to my ex's flat today. I got a taxi, got out, stood and looked at his flat. Nothing has changed in all those years. He still had the same curtains. It hurt to be there. I got back in the taxi and left.

Up early to finish cleaning up for the bug man. This is stressful. I have some kind of completion anxiety. Or clean anxiety. Or getting what i want anxiety. Usually there is a lot of stress leading up to the event. Just trying to be cool this time.

Eta - plus it was gross and i just didnt wanna do it!!! its much less gross now. Im going back to bed, wait for bug guy, then pretty up the place. And as god is my witness, i will never have a gross w.c. again!!

Bring it in motha nature!!!

(((Echos)))

Really nice pics luco and dna Thx!

hugs echos... I hope you can find some closure soon

Could it be an allergic reaction to something maybe? Might help to try taking an antihistamine. Or try some ice on them? Hope they feel better soon!

(((Echos)))

Last time I was back in the midwest, I drove past my ex's workplace (which is where we had met, because I didn't know where he had been living before he passed.) I pulled over and sat in my car looking at the building and picturing him walking out of work and wanted so badly to talk to him and tell him all about my son. Even though he cheated on me and broke my heart, we actually parted friends and he knew I'd met my h, but we lost touch shortly after that and I never even got to tell him I was getting married let alone that I had a son. It's hard.

Sending more hugs, Echos. You will get through this, it just took me some time, I hope you can give yourself some time too and not be too hard on yourself.

Echos, that sounds really painful. You're going on vacation soon, right? Maybe getting out of the area will be helpful to you?

Another late night. Watching Dr Philip. Ugh!!!

Thanks LT! I took some ibuprofen and sprayed my allergy stuff up my nostrils, rubbed some Benadryl cream around the edges of them (scared to go too close to my mouth because I don't want to eat it!) and they are starting to get smaller. They still hurt/sting pretty much the same, but at least I look less like I've been in a fight now.

Thanks LT. Yeah I go at the weekend.
My ex's flat is about 50 miles from where I live but only 2 miles from my university, so I decided to hop in a taxi when I got to the city this morning. Really spontaneous. I think it helped me even though it hurt.

It's raining here again. So tired of the rain.

Is that where your name came from?

Pouring here with occasional thunder. (I like how there was a thunder clap right after I typed that.)

Plus I used to do a lot of water sports (swimming and water polo). 😂

Summer's coming here, and with it monsoon, I'm looking forward to the thunderstorms!

LOLLLLL

I can't make any sense of that in Spanish or English. Maybe it sounds like something in Italian? Thanks for sharing

Had quite difficult session with T last night (and very intense episode of SuI earlier this week where T almost put her foot down and made me go to the hospital, but eventually settled for me staying with a friend who is a psychiatrist in training) but things are a little better today. Had a patient who made me laaaaaaugh (just a good natured dude) and agreed to at least *try* to quit smoking with the help of the patch. Going to try to go to yoga tonight if it doesn't feel like a totally overwhelming impossibility.

Todays looks interesting, with the 70 yr old man who lives with his mother and his mail order bride.

ETA - YAY!!! Bug guy done and gone!!!

You rock, babe!

There are still mail order brides?

Speaking of mothers, Una, I'm heeding your wake-up call (and ATAT and current T's [who also asked me if I want to enter my 40s this way] as well) and texting my Mom today to say that I'm only going to call every three weeks or so.

I shall then prepare to hunker down to shield myself from the guilt-tripping thunder (it's also actually been thundering here).

I had a rather late realization that there is no perfect phrasing I can ever use to escape it. So, either I get it over with or just suck up the status quo (in which case I should just shut up about it).

But, all of that to say, thank you!

Another babe who rocks!

I would suggest blocking her number if the hasslement gets to be too much.

ETA: I am really punchy today, combination of too little sleep, too much Mah Jongg solitaire, and maybe too little yoga, especially of the shaky sort, the past few days.

Aww...hardly!

Blocking her number would be I dunno...ninja level confidence.

I am currently at the point of considering sitting in a bar -- surrounded by a whole lot of people to protect me from my frail, 70 yr old mother approximately 10,000 miles away -- and sending the text.

ETA: I would imagine shaky yoga leaves one wobbling between zen and punchy? I do highly recommend the splitting maul (as long as you're prepared for your arms / shoulders killing you up to 36 hours later).

How does one obtain ninja level confidence, anyway? I had enough confidence to drum in front of t last evening, and while it was a little intimidating being her there watching, it wasn't anywhere near ninja level confidence that i needed. Baby steps, i guess.