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#151
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Oh god, something happened at work and a bunch of VVIPs got mad at me because of issues at a teleconference. The AV tech dude got mad at me for not knowing how a phone cable looks like and what ports to plug in in. VIP boss demanded a email report from me. Shaking and cold sweaty hands as I tried to plug in the phone line. Technically it's not my fault but I will be blamed nonetheless. A bunch of VIPs and the AV tech guy berating me is humiliating and shameful for me.
Today is a really lousy day. I have to do the file management because I'm the lowest ranking IT manager... |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous37925, Anonymous43207, CantExplain, chihirochild, Elio, kecanoe, LonesomeTonight, skeksi, SoConfused623
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#152
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Quote:
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![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, Elio
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#153
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One of my colleagues took me aside later to teach me about the phone lines and data lines and power lines in an empty conference room. To him these things are second nature. To me, I need to be taught how to recognise the dizzying array of cables and their ports...
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![]() AmandaBroken, kecanoe, LonesomeTonight, SoConfused623
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![]() AmandaBroken, CantExplain
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#154
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I'm still shaky. Wrote the incident report with the required "Steps I will do to ensure this doesn't happen again". I know it isn't completely my fault although the VIPs and AV team will blame me for not double checking on things. I'm trying to be self compassionate and not self punish by going without food but I've zero appetite. :/
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![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous37925, Anonymous43207, CantExplain, Elio, kecanoe, LonesomeTonight, SoConfused623
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#155
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It's not your fault qm. You can't know this if noone has thought you.
I don't really see your AVs problem either... Is there something you'd like to eat right now? Like ice cream or chocolate or...
__________________
I do not wanna be afraid I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in I'm tired of feeling so numb |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#156
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Eating a slice of caramel chocolate cake with my favourite green tea latte. I rarely go to Starbucks but I don't want to go home dysregulated. My dad will just mock me if I told him about today. I owe him money for painting my room together with this month's allowance to them. Somehow it's so upsetting that they barely talk to me unless it's about money or belittling me. I pretend everything is good about my work because the father recently told me off for complaining. The brother who traumatised me has been wordlessly following me around to places on weekends lately and it's super creepy. I'm so...fed up...
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![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#158
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Hugs, QM...that sounds miserable. Hope you enjoyed the green tea latte and cake and are feeling a bit better. Do they have mango black tea lemonade and peach green tea lemonade at the Starbucks where you are? Those are my favorites. And chai.
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![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#159
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Might I ask why you even tell him? I mean, how does he deserve your trust? Sorry, I don't mean to be insulting or anything... ![]() Do you know why your brother does this? Sounds creepy and annoying to me... |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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#160
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Ooh, I'm not sure if they have. Sounds interesting. They've chai - is it good? I love chai!
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![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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#161
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Quote:
![]() I tell them because if I just stuck to "I'm fine. Just busy", periodically the father throws a tantrum yelling that his children don't talk to him and cuts off the internet. And he'll yell that I'm always in my room with my door locked. He's lonely and acts out after a period of increasing tension. My sister bugs me to validate his emotional needs but doesn't live with us lol. When I suggested she go talk to him, she was like "are you kidding me?" Once I told T how I listened to the father self aggrandizing and monologuing for 3 hours. She praised me and I got upset... I'm weird. The brother follows me when he wants conversation with me. I generally avoid him or keep talk very short. He creeps me out. I've been wary of him since very young.
Possible trigger:
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![]() AmandaBroken, captgut, Demunie, LonesomeTonight
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#162
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I'm sorry you have to go through this ![]() Your brother sure as hell sounds creepy... Is he holder or younger than you are? If I might ask |
![]() AmandaBroken, captgut, LonesomeTonight
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![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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#163
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Omg my dad doesn't pace for hours but he will rant, rant, rant, cut off internet, call us out to berate us. He used to hit us too when we were teens. I sit quietly and agree with whatever he says too, I'm so sorry you experiences similarly. It's really unfair and wrong that this was done to you. What's your relationship like with your brother, if I can ask? My sister still keeps defending him to me...every time she criticises him, she defends him because she feels disloyal criticising him. I used to tell T I'm a horrible traitor whenever I talked about the parents. I know my father is very lonely. Hea like a kid who was given a lot of conditional praise (he was the golden child in his family) and throws tantrums when he feels neglected or can't get his way. |
![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#164
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Where is no starbucks in my city, so i never tried it... I heard different opinions, from "excellent coffee" to "bad and too expensive". Maybe i'll try one day
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![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight
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#165
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I have problems talking with my cousin and even just seeing him.
Possible trigger:
I felt ok for years, but now i almost hate him. Some of you know i have problems with parents too. I have no private space - no room, no table, no corner... no shelf and so on. My mom used to check my bag or backpack every day, but i made her stop it. Relationship with realtives can be really tough... |
![]() AmandaBroken, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#166
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![]() I really undestand the "feel like a traitor" part... I mean, my dad is great in general, he's just... ![]() Maybe he's lonely... But then he should look for friends in his age-category (uhm... hope you know what I mean >.<), who are on the same level as he is and not look for glorification of his children... My relationship with my brother is complicated. We used to have an awful lot of physical fights when we were younger. He broke my finger once ![]() ![]() |
![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#167
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Well yes of course. But it's also really embarrassing sometimes!!
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![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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![]() AmandaBroken, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight
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#168
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Quote:
Quote:
I wish you wouldn't have to talk with your cousin anymore ![]() |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, captgut
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#169
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![]() I still think your dad ranting forbhours is scary. Parents can be good and bad, complex people. The good doesn't negate the bad. Ouch, broken finger sounds agonizing! Sibling relationships are so weird sometimes. Wow, I agree with your T. You're caregiving. I get what you mean about adoring your brother. ![]() |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, LonesomeTonight
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#170
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I think their chai is really good (assuming they have the same kind--I think it's Teavana brand). And, this might sound weird, but I like it iced as well.
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![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#171
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Usually the drink has to be made.more concentrated if they're going to load the cup up with iced cubes |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight
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#172
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Coming from someone that worked as an install tech for 18 months and spent about 1/4 of the time unpacking equipment and breaking down boxes. ![]() ![]() |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, CantExplain
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#173
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"Chai" is also russian word for "tea"
![]() So i read "I love chai!" and at first i was like huh? Am i sleeping? ![]() |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, BonnieJean, LonesomeTonight
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#174
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Till she sees the gosling again!
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![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, CantExplain, unaluna
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#175
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Quote:
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__________________
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![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() AmandaBroken, BonnieJean, LonesomeTonight
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Closed Thread |
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