The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch.

I regard it less as empowerment and more as "determined to be a mega-pain in the a s s."

I'm flying home Saturday, their parents get back Friday afternoon. They've been really well-behaved.

The colors peaked this past weekend. There's just enough left that I can still tell them apart!

Went to my sleep doctor, left with samples of Belsomra and an order for another sleep study. I just can't use my CPAP machine, I feel like I'm being attacked with that mask on.

My mother in law is staying with H and me tonight. H is concerned since we don't know that her house is secure. I am very funny about inviting people over. My sheets aren't clean. My bathroom is dirty. My couch is not comfortable.

I really really miss RoboT right now.

Ugh, so H was saying to D about taking her to speech, then to camp, then to the indoor pool (because it's supposed to be miserable out) tomorrow. I told him he didn't have to take her to the pool, that I could manage to get my work done without that (it's the reason he's taking her). He got irritated by that, too. I tried to explain to him that if he wants to do me a favor/help me out, he should be more like, "Hey, so I can take her to speech tomorrow so you'll have that time. Then, if you need more time, I don't mind taking her to the pool." Like, to offer to help me out. Not act like he's doing me this giant favor and then getting p*ssy when I say he doesn't have to do that, that I can manage. Stupidly, I said he was acting like he was being a martyr, which of course p*ssed him off...But seriously, if you want to say, "I'll do this to help!" then do it. Don't act all annoyed about it. Because then I just feel bad and say you don't need to do it, which just irritates you even more.

Do the favor willingly and because you want to help me. Or don't. Whatever. Not begrudgingly and like it's this huge burden.

Jdna - you made biscuits?!

LT this happens to me all the time! I feel guilty/bad/unworthy asking for help but I really need it. The helper will give me some kind of sign that they aren't willing (rolls eyes, sarcasm, snap a response) which immediately makes me regret asking. Then I say never mind because if I have to see/hear how much this puts you out I'd rather just do it myself. I'm specifically talking about my kids but used to happen with S/O's as well. No advice just commiserations.

Urgent: seeking opinions on half-sour pickles

I haven't since i was like 16...and that was only bc my friend forced me! I haven't owned one since High School..over 20 years ago.
Hmmm..i don't think i can help you. The only pickles i've ever had were dill (MY FAVORITE) and a spiced pickle which was awesome and super hot. I don't even know what a half-sour pickle really is?

I'm getting a new hot water system. Yay.

JD You food loks great. I dont like beans but hey look yummy. And your biscuit looks like a fried scone.

Hey couchies! Thanks for the pocket riders, you gave me courage to go in there and talk. I know there's an in session thread, but I feel more comfortable here.

(Edited to delete stuff cuz I creeped myself out with over sharing)

She said she was sorry that I'd felt judged.

She admitted she should not have told me I was in a complex or possessed or whatever wording she used, I told her I really really still don't quite understand exactly what happened, she said clearly you were triggered by something, and we explored that some, um she got out her notes to read to me what she had written down that I said because it didn't sound like 'me', and when she read it to me, I was like you're right it doesn't, she said I'm not making it up it's right here I said no I believe you, I remember you writing something down but I've forgotten so much of what was said. I did tell her that of course I don't hate her and that I feel awful that I said that to her.

I'm still scheduled for next week but after that we're gonna play it by ear and I'm still considering taking a break. But I do feel better. I said again how I couldn't leave it like it was and she appreciated that. She said she thinks we're stronger now. And I told her I am glad that 'we' are still a 'we' and she said she wanted to give me a hug so we hugged and then I left.

So that was that! almost forgot to say thanks for reading anyone who got this far

So, on Sunday night a local state trooper was killed by a solider with ptsd( he also killed his wife). The trooper was a local who grew up in our small tight knit community. He happened to be a friend of my older brother. It's sad for me, yes. But sad in sense that ohhh.. I knew him while growing up, he has been to my house, had a little nick name for me thing. However, I did not know him into adulthood. Anyways everybody around me is sad and it's making my emotions go crazy.

My mom who is a 911 dispatcher doe the county took the wife's calls, he knew the trooper not only from growing up, but also as a former sheriff deputy and she dispatched for him. She is wrecked and wants to quit her job. And I just don't know how to handle all the Sadness around me.

I'm sorry healed that you're in the middle of so much sadness.

You obviously haven't been to the sessions thread in a while to see my posts...

I could do some statements... but won't .. because.. THANK YOU for sharing your story.

I am glad it worked out Art

I don't stray too much from the couch these days...... eta but maybe i should start using that in session thread. i'll go read there tomorrow and see how it feels.

Same, I'm glad your session went well, Art.

((Healed))

I'm beginning to understand in-law jokes. Someone save me.

LT - this is like the third time a similar episode has happened with your husband that you've mentioned here. So why not just take him at his word when he says he'll do something? He says he'll do it, end of discussion.

Sure, he needs to communicate better. But what interests me (at least if I were MC) is why you keep responding a certain way when you know what his answer will be and he'll get snappish. Is it like replaying the scenario over and over till it goes right and he reassures you?

Art, I'm glad you had some sort of resolution or way forward, but I so much wanted for your therapist to say that she could withstand your anger. You should be able to feel okay with whatever you feel/express when you are in therapy.

(((Art))) i dont know if this is where you ended up, but yeah it almost felt good to feel really bad then make up with t. To be able to stay together in spite of not being perfect. Okay i am creeping myself out. But being perfect was a condition of childhood. Etc.

I wanted that too. She did say we can break it down and work with it if I choose to. That was enough, for now.

You don't have to answer. You don't have to read.

I read... please be careful with the SHthing... Especially with alcohol it's easy to do lasting damage... here if you need me...
I hope the cashiers will care.

I care and worry deeply about you

Me too. Please be careful Capt

So... We'd actually got an offer to rent one of the places we looked at... Now I kind of don't want it though because my mom doesn't like it. I loved the apartment when we were there.

Talk about being pathetic, eh?