[Prsartist3]

Not sure if I'm posting in the right place?
I'll make this as brief as possible, please bear with me.

Been in therapy for 10 years, depression, relationship issues, multiple physical health issues.

Recently due to health issues and medications I've been rendered impotent.
(That means the pills don't work for me!)
The next option is injection therapy... my 1st attempt. Resulted in an erection
That lasted over 5hrs. And a unbelievably embarrassing and humiliating trip to the ER.
(Won't even get into the treatment for that, needless to say it's extremely embarrassing and unpleasant!).

Upon confiding in my therapist about this issue (and the obvious depression this can bring) she mentioned that she had a patient who was in a similar position and maybe
I should hear his story? I told her then, that "I have absolutely zero interest in that.
And I'm glad his life is happy with a non functioning penis"
Nothing more was said at that appt.

The following week in the waiting room before my appt. therapist comes out and
Asks if I would like to talk to this guy (he was waiting in the office!!) I told her NO!
She then asked again and I was getting furious, "I said NO!"
He got up walked out.

I am absolutely humiliated and feel like my trust was violated.
Why is she sharing extremely personal information about me with other clients??

She did not feel this was a violation???
She often talks about other clients and their expierences, and I don't see any issues with that.
The issue I have is not she told this client about me having sexual issues (I have to assume my name wasn't given out?)
The problem I have is that this "dude" is standing in my therapists office and he knows EXTREMELY personal information about me, (I'm not comfortable knowing that he is happy with his non functioning penis either That's all I freaking know about him) and now he has a face to attach whatever info she might have given out??

She could not understand why this was so upsetting to me?
Is this just a case of my therapist being a female who has absolutely no clue about how embarrassing and humiliating this type of situation is??
I'm so upset I'm just shaking right now typing this...

Can anyone give me some insight into what the **** just happened to me??
And how to 100% prevent this from ever happening again??

[toomanycats]

That is absolutely a violation...
It's one thing to talk in abstract about other clients; it's another to make it obvious who you are talking about...let alone to set it up so an encounter is inevitable... especially after you had made perfectly clear that you did not want to discuss this other person.

Honestly, you could probably file a formal complaint with your state licensing board. This is a clear violation.

I'm really really sorry that she did this to you.

[Wila]

I agree with you that your T went over the line. It's not ok to bring him in without your permission. If she didn't understand that I would consider a change of T.

[Prsartist3]

I don't believe she did this out of any malice or I'll will? I just think this was a very bad judgement call.
(Although I'm having an extremely difficult time trying to put any positive spin on this)
I'm just kind of terrified (maybe paranoid) who else may have personal info on me?

[Prsartist3]

This therapist has helped me in the past, basically the reason I'm still here typing this.
I do not believe this was done out of any ill will or malice.

I just wanted to be sure I was thinking about this clearly as I'm definitely
Struggling with accepting what has happened, and I really need to know that
She has accepts this a BIG mistake and not some minor issue.....?

[ElectricManatee]

This was an unbelievable breach of ethics. File a complaint, run away screaming. Absolutely not okay under any circumstances. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.

Originally Posted by Prsartist3

I don't believe she did this out of any malice or I'll will? I just think this was a very bad judgement call.
(Although I'm having an extremely difficult time trying to put any positive spin on this)
I'm just kind of terrified (maybe paranoid) who else may have personal info on me?

I hear you. It is very possible your actual identity was never revealed to this other client and since you didn't go to meet that person, they still have no idea who you are. I would certainly ask for clarification on that point; it would make a big difference to me as far as seeing this as bad judgement as opposed to a confidentiality breach.

Even if you identity was specifically not revealed, it is certainly skirting the edges if she told this other client she has another current client with similar issues and asked him if he was willing to speak with you.

If otherwise you have felt good about this therapist and you feel this was not done out of malice, just done with poor judgement, then get some clarification about the situation and of course make it clear that you feel your safety and privacy was violated by being mentioned to another client. If she can hear you out and you feel she recognizes what a betrayal this was to you, then you can decide if you can get past this and continue working with her.

[Prsartist3]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I hear you. It is very possible your actual identity was never revealed to this other client and since you didn't go to meet that person, they still have no idea who you are. I would certainly ask for clarification on that point; it would make a big difference to me as far as seeing this as bad judgement as opposed to a confidentiality breach.

Even if you identity was specifically not revealed, it is certainly skirting the edges if she told this other client she has another current client with similar issues and asked him if he was willing to speak with you.

If otherwise you have felt good about this therapist and you feel this was not done out of malice, just done with poor judgement, then get some clarification about the situation and of course make it clear that you feel your safety and privacy was violated by being mentioned to another client. If she can hear you out and you feel she recognizes what a betrayal this was to you, then you can decide if you can get past this and continue working with her.

I SERIOUSLY doubt my name was given (but it may have as they were in the office for an hour before i arrived). don't even want to think about something like that. But staring at this stranger who knew intimate details about me is literally making me ill as I type this...... (happened yesterday) I was hoping
Sleeping this off last night would give me some relief...

Wow, absolute ethics violation. This T violated your boundaries and you have a right to be angry. Sorry this happened to you.

[SilentMelodee]

oh mi gosh yes, this is grounds for a complaint if you so choose to do so! I would be horrified myself! It's one thing to talk to the client about you as some random person, but to have to look face to face at this client, not knowing "just how much" he knows, is horrifying! I'm so sorry you are dealing with this issue to begin with, and then having to deal with how badly your T handled this. Especially when you said no! Even if you hadn't, she should have asked you AGAIN, prior to setting this up, rather than blindsiding you with it with no notice. You have every right to be angry with her, and however you choose to do it, she needs to know this was NOT ok! Did you stay for the whole session after this happened?

[Ididitmyway]

Not only it was an ethical violation but she broke the law. Plain and simple. A breach of confidentiality, with the exception of the cases when the law allows or mandates to breach it, is not only an ethical issue, it's a legal issue. In my state what she did is punishable by either $5,000 fine (I am not sure if the amount is correct though) or 6 moths of imprisonment.

Not only she had no right to talk to that guy about your problem, but she had no right to tell you about her other patients even if she did it for therapeutic purpose. Just because you never had an issue with that doesn't mean she was allowed to do that. She wasn't.

Her intentions don't matter. When the professional ethics and/or the professional law gets broken, it is what it is, no matter what the intentions were. Besides, in addition to the broken law and ethical standard, it is immoral to force this kind of "help" on the person when he made it crystal clear that he didn't want it.

It IS a major betrayal and I strongly suggest you to report her to her licensing board. I am sorry you had to go through this. Absolutely outrageous.

[here today]

She "meant well". She thought and felt she knew better than you did what was good for you and took action, involving another person, conveying confidential information about you and the other person.

It's disrespectful and invalidating and I'm so sorry you had to experience this. That's why it's against the law and the guidelines, because what you are experiencing can be a result. She "should have known". I'm glad that she was helpful in the past but 10 years is a long time already. Maybe it's time for a change?

[Erebos]

This was soooooo far over the line,
I'd have been terminated in this situation most likely, due to my reaction it that situation.
The stupidity of T's really does seem to have no upper limit.
Sorry you experienced this.
Oh and I would definitely report her and put in a complaint, she has obviously forgotten her position and her duty of care.

[Rpmblank]

OMG!! This is just deplorable. I've always trusted therapists and to hear this is a real wake up call. I'm so sorry you were humiliated by your own therapist and it sounds like it was done on more than one occasion (as if once was not bad enough). I have no inkling of how you could deal with this but it should be reported. Please don't do anything drastic and try to surround yourself with kind people.

[Prsartist3]

Originally Posted by ~Tsunami

Wow, absolute ethics violation. This T violated your boundaries and you have a right to be angry. Sorry this happened to you.

OMG..... I had called my T to schedule an appt to hopefully discuss this situation
And relieve my worries that my info is not casually given out to patients or ANYONE. That meeting was today..

I told her I needed her to be honest because the damage was done and I felt
I had a right to know exactly what information about me had been passed on to her other client.
I also told her that I do not believe it was done with any malace or I'll will and that I just needed to understand (hopefully to put her at ease)

She instantly became defensive, said that I was over reacting. And that she was not going to be yelled at or blamed for anything, (I wasn't yelling, but I do tend to raise my voice when frustrated). she then said this appt was over!
And opened the door and stood there for me to leave. I told her I needed help
And that I had no one to talk to, no response, just held the door open.
(Total appt. time 7 min)

I'm absolutely dumbfounded..... i am deathly afraid of this info being in her possession. Is there anything I can do to get this information out of her hands??
I had been seeing her for 10 years, I'm absolutely shocked she would just dismiss me like that. I have no other support system, and my life is spiraling down to a very dark place...

[Prsartist3]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Not only it was an ethical violation but she broke the law. Plain and simple. A breach of confidentiality, with the exception of the cases when the law allows or mandates to breach it, is not only an ethical issue, it's a legal issue. In my state what she did is punishable by either $5,000 fine (I am not sure if the amount is correct though) or 6 moths of imprisonment.

Not only she had no right to talk to that guy about your problem, but she had no right to tell you about her other patients even if she did it for therapeutic purpose. Just because you never had an issue with that doesn't mean she was allowed to do that. She wasn't.

Her intentions don't matter. When the professional ethics and/or the professional law gets broken, it is what it is, no matter what the intentions were. Besides, in addition to the broken law and ethical standard, it is immoral to force this kind of "help" on the person when he made it crystal clear that he didn't want it.

It IS a major betrayal and I strongly suggest you to report her to her licensing board. I am sorry you had to go through this. Absolutely outrageous.

Well she OFTEN talks about other clients but I don't see an issue because they were never named or identified. In this case the issue I had is although I don't believe my name was given out, she forced a face to face meeting, which I clearly had no interest in. Even if he doesn't know my name, he now has a face to attach to whatever info he was told about me. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Prsartist3

Well she OFTEN talks about other clients but I don't see an issue because they were never named or identified. In this case the issue I had is although I don't believe my name was given out, she forced a face to face meeting, which I clearly had no interest in. Even if he doesn't know my name, he now has a face to attach to whatever info he was told about me. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach.

I understand what your issue is and, as I said, it is valid because what she did WAS a betrayal.

What I am saying is that there is an objective issue here in addition to your personal issue, and that is an objective breach of professional law and ethics when she talks about other clients even when she doesn't identify them. I don't care if she doesn't identify them when she talks about them. She can't do that. Period. She can talk about her clients WITHOUT identifying them only when she consults with her peers, not when she conducts therapy with her clients. Whether it's an issue for you or not it doesn't matter, sorry. Your opinion about this is irrelevant because whether you take an issue with it or not, she is still not allowed to do that by law.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Prsartist3

OMG..... I had called my T to schedule an appt to hopefully discuss this situation
And relieve my worries that my info is not casually given out to patients or ANYONE. That meeting was today..

I told her I needed her to be honest because the damage was done and I felt
I had a right to know exactly what information about me had been passed on to her other client.
I also told her that I do not believe it was done with any malace or I'll will and that I just needed to understand (hopefully to put her at ease)

She instantly became defensive, said that I was over reacting. And that she was not going to be yelled at or blamed for anything, (I wasn't yelling, but I do tend to raise my voice when frustrated). she then said this appt was over!
And opened the door and stood there for me to leave. I told her I needed help
And that I had no one to talk to, no response, just held the door open.
(Total appt. time 7 min)

I'm absolutely dumbfounded..... i am deathly afraid of this info being in her possession. Is there anything I can do to get this information out of her hands??
I had been seeing her for 10 years, I'm absolutely shocked she would just dismiss me like that. I have no other support system, and my life is spiraling down to a very dark place...

One unethical act after another. I am really sorry you have to go through this.

No, you can't get this info out of her hands, but you can hold her accountable for what she's done. I rarely give advice to take action but in this case, I think, you absolutely should report her.

[Sunflower123]

I don't know in what universe she thought this would be ok. She went way past the line of appropriate and professional behavior. Now at the very least you know she has poor judgment. Do you really want to continue on with her?

[Prsartist3]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

I understand what your issue is and, as I said, it is valid because what she did WAS a betrayal.

What I am saying is that there is an objective issue here in addition to your personal issue, and that is an objective breach of professional law and ethics when she talks about other clients even when she doesn't identify them. I don't care if she doesn't identify them when she talks about them. She can't do that. Period. She can talk about her clients WITHOUT identifying them only when she consults with her peers, not when she conducts therapy with her clients. Whether it's an issue for you or not it doesn't matter, sorry. Your opinion about this is irrelevant because whether you take an issue with it or not, she is still not allowed to do that by law.

Thanks
Did not realize that...

[Prsartist3]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I don't know in what universe she thought this would be ok. She went way past the line of appropriate and professional behavior. Now at the very least you know she has poor judgment. Do you really want to continue on with her?

Absolutely not, but it's not quite that easy. I have no family or other resources
To deal with an issue like this, and I'm absolutely terrified of where my personal info may be going..

[Prsartist3]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

One unethical act after another. I am really sorry you have to go through this.

No, you can't get this info out of her hands, but you can hold her accountable for what she's done. I rarely give advice to take action but in this case, I think, you absolutely should report her.

Damn, that's really disturbing. Why does she get to keep all my info after a session is terminated? Especially if she is found to be negligent??
Kind of like allowing a pedophile to keep his pornography??
What's the reasoning behind that?

[here today]

Originally Posted by Prsartist3

OMG..... I had called my T to schedule an appt to hopefully discuss this situation
And relieve my worries that my info is not casually given out to patients or ANYONE. That meeting was today..

I told her I needed her to be honest because the damage was done and I felt
I had a right to know exactly what information about me had been passed on to her other client.
I also told her that I do not believe it was done with any malace or I'll will and that I just needed to understand (hopefully to put her at ease)

She instantly became defensive, said that I was over reacting. And that she was not going to be yelled at or blamed for anything, (I wasn't yelling, but I do tend to raise my voice when frustrated). she then said this appt was over!
And opened the door and stood there for me to leave. I told her I needed help
And that I had no one to talk to, no response, just held the door open.
(Total appt. time 7 min)

I'm absolutely dumbfounded..... i am deathly afraid of this info being in her possession. Is there anything I can do to get this information out of her hands??
I had been seeing her for 10 years, I'm absolutely shocked she would just dismiss me like that. I have no other support system, and my life is spiraling down to a very dark place...

It sounds very much like she realized that she had done something unethical and that she could not deal with that.

If you live in a city, then you may have some resources to help you find some other support. Support groups, especially those run by peer support specialists, have been helpful to me. You don't have to divulge the specifics, just that you learned that your therapist had revealed information about you to another client and that you feel betrayed and don't know where to turn. Do you want to try to find another therapist? Or do you feel (understandably) somewhat hesitant to look for that?

You can also PM me if you think that will help, and certainly continue to write about your situation here. I left my last T almost a year ago and have found the support and opportunity to vent on PC to be an enormous help.

There are some other forums here, too, about specific issues -- depression, anxiety, relationships, etc. They have helped, too. Usually very friendly and supportive.

It seems unlikely that the information could be used or spread in any other way that could be damaging to you, but I definitely understand how terrifying even that possibility must feel. If you can find a way to get some support then that fear might be lessened somewhat, and you can start on a plan to find out what is the best way to make sure that it will and cannot be used against you again, if you want to do that.

[Prsartist3]

Originally Posted by here today

It sounds very much like she realized that she had done something unethical and that she could not deal with that.

If you live in a city, then you may have some resources to help you find some other support. Support groups, especially those run by peer support specialists, have been helpful to me. You don't have to divulge the specifics, just that you learned that your therapist had revealed information about you to another client and that you feel betrayed and don't know where to turn. Do you want to try to find another therapist? Or do you feel (understandably) somewhat hesitant to look for that?

You can also PM me if you think that will help, and certainly continue to write about your situation here. I left my last T almost a year ago and have found the support and opportunity to vent on PC to be an enormous help.

There are some other forums here, too, about specific issues -- depression, anxiety, relationships, etc. They have helped, too. Usually very friendly and supportive.

It seems unlikely that the information could be used or spread in any other way that could be damaging to you, but I definitely understand how terrifying even that possibility must feel. If you can find a way to get some support then that fear might be lessened somewhat, and you can start on a plan to find out what is the best way to make sure that it will and cannot be used against you again, if you want to do that.

To be honest, I think anyone in therapy better be VERY careful of what you say as your information is NOT 100% secure ever! I've come to understand that insurance companies can request some of this sensitive info to validate payments. Therefore it's not a big stretch to realize the possibility that your info
May be available to someone at your place of employment.. the possibilities of this info getting out is very real. If you need to edit your conversations and hide sensitive info what's the point of therapy really??

[Prsartist3]

I'm going to contact an attorney on Monday.
I really hate doing this, but I feel I have no choice.
I don't think anything will ever be done to her, but what else can I do?