Couch 157: Fair Value

ugghhh and i just got a notice in the mail today that my license is suspended. COME ON. i don't know if the judge does re-open and dismiss my case if he will re-instate it? I just spent $300 fixing my damn car to get in passed by inspection.

this week can suck it, so hard.

I think what would bug me is the use of the word 'trigger'.

Else, even if it was discussed as something trigger-y but without actually using the word trigger, I'd be totally down with that.

I am weird about words that way though.

Oh, and in terms of therapists trying to say that it's a reasonable response blah blah -- that s h i t drives me up.the.wall.

Current T for some reason seems to think that using herself as an example (so, she'd say "I'd have done / felt the same") is supposed to help me although I have no idea why.

She thinks you want to be just like her?

I need to grade.

I don’t want to grade.

I would prefer a double session with DBC, followed by one with CW, followed by yet another rupture with 3 (okay, maybe not that) to grading.

Tiny blonde?

Yessssssssssssss............No.

No, she somehow thinks I (or rather, clients in general, I suppose) look up to her or her life / choices.

I really have no idea why.

The second one I used to see did that all the time. Finally she stopped when I told her I did not hold her up as a model of what to do in any given situation. Ever. That I never said to myself "oh that therapist does/does not do x so it's okay."

That is clearly the solution to all our problems.

W. W. Y. T. D.? (What would your therapist do?)

I’ll need a whole new wardrobe to do what Info would do. (We had Secondary Fall Wood Nymph yesterday.)

Sadly many therapists and some clients actually do put that forth as the thing to do.

What the hell do those guys mean when they say they feel privileged to have been with a client? Is that some sort of boilerplate therapist crap they throw at a client and they expect a client to believe or even understand what the hell they are talking about?

My vote is for boilerplate therapist crap. As I heard it from DBC, whose acting skills were too lousy to pull off the rote lines other therapists can.

I think we’re supposed to be flattered?

My t says that or actually she'll say it's been an honor, but usually it's after I've thanked her for putting up with me or something along those lines. I think it's supposed to mean, she's honored that I've trusted her with the deepest darkest parts of me. That's my take on it, anyway. I didn't really understand it myself until I did the shamanic practitioner training and at our last session of the training, we offered our services in a walk-in clinic setting. The people I drummed for that day, who shared things with me, I got it then. I did feel honored that they trusted me, that they allowed me to hold the space for them for a short time. I can't imagine how much more strongly a t might feel that, doing it on an ongoing basis for the same person. Just my thoughts.

I also vote boilerplate. Just like when a T says they "care" about a client.

Did the Orange Cake presentation happen?

Are you kidding? I finally got my appetite back and finished it before the appointment.

Although, I should have saved the leaf ring stuck on top (it was a giant cupcake) for her.

I wonder if she would have worn it? We could go steady!

Mine once responded to one of my emails saying it was a privilege to be on this journey with me. (I've often likened my personal brand of crap to being lost in the woods and he's trying to help me find my way out, hence a journey.) I never thought it was boilerplate therapist-speak. I found it so comforting to hear that from him at that time. It makes me very sad to think otherwise.

ETA, he also said he cared about me in that email. Right now I really need to believe all the positive things he says to me.

The thing with boilerplate therapist talk is that it doesn’t mean they’re not using it to express a genuine emotion. (Technically the phrase “I love you” is also boilerplate human talk.)

I’ve heard the “I genuinely care about you” from two different therapists. One very quickly showed that it was a boilerplate comment for her, the other demonstrated repeatedly that for her it was genuine, if expressed formulaically. (Of course, she’s the one I’m mad at right now.)

So you know your therapist and you can judge whether he’s sincere or not. If you’ve seen nothing to indicate otherwise, don’t let the opinions of us random strangers on the internet decide for you.

Day 1 of my break from t was good. I'm not sure what I was expecting. I think maybe part of me was expecting to be hit with regret and "what have I done?" kinds of feelings. But I think something pivotal happened inside me last weekend with that whole "Maybe it's not about right and wrong" realization. One of my coworkers told me today "You have such a fantastic personality!" I was like wow, thank you, I really appreciate that. Floored me!! I was thinking about maybe making a thread just to post stuff about my break. But I dunno. Maybe not.

Normally, I wouldn't. I'm just feeling very emotionally raw this week.

Wrong thread.

You guys! Miracles can happen!

I emailed my therapist at almost 11 pm on a Friday, and he responded within an hour! Boilerplate therapist talk, but, hey, it's the thought that counts.

I'm so happy that I won't have to cry my way through Thanksgiving!!!

The kitten watching Hitchcocks The Birds

So cute! Needed that, BCM.

More cuteness

And some more

Once again the woman proves she has few, if any, reading comprehension skills
Or that she purposely obfuscates in order to ignore what I say and make herself look better.
It may be the one area in which she was consistent.