Couch 157: Fair Value

Hope you're feeling better and that it was nothing serious!

H just got home from being a referee for his sport all morning. D was apparently getting sick of me and wanted him, so good timing, I guess...

He asked if she wanted hamburgers for lunch, and I asked if he meant the ones in the fridge. He said yes, and I asked when they were from. He said, "I don't know, Monday or something?" I'm pretty paranoid about food safety (did paper on it in grad school) and checked online and said they're only good for 3-4 days in fridge (yes, I know, many of you have probably eaten much older burgers and been fine!) He was like, "They're fine, I'm not trying to poison our daughter." I tried to protest, saying I'm just trying to be careful, and he just kinda stormed upstairs to take a shower.

Guess that's one more thing to add to my list to talk about in my rescheduled therapy session with T2 this afternoon...

(((rainbow)))

Aren't most holidays - if one tries hard enough - built around something bad happening to someone else? Independence celebrations are based on one side wounding/damaging/killing another side; religious ones quite often involve goriness of some sort or signify the start of fighting/misunderstanding/ etc; memorial holidays - well something bad had to happen for people to have to be reminded to remember; mother's days/father's days etc - some had good parents and some had terrible ones.
I think people can spend too much time trying to figure out ways to be offended/identify as victims.

(((LT)))

Hmm. Took a break from studying for a bit but now I'm back at it. And just started the section on Major Depressive Disorder. I am already in disagreement with the authors and the researchers they quoted saying "Depression protects us, sending us into a sort of psychic hibernation. It slows us down, defuses aggression, helps us let go of unattainable goals, and restrains risk taking." Ugh. I'm writing a letter to the authors.

I think both points of view are defensible and have elements of the truth. Depression (at least mine) also forces us to seek help and make changes and improve our lives. I got the sense yours eventually did as well. Think of all the leaders like Lincoln or creative types like JK Rowling who had depression.

I think your authors may be viewing depression from kind of an evolutionary standpoint.

Yeah, could be. Anyway, I have already begun examining my immediate rather emotional reaction to that statement I copied here and have decided to finish the section afterall....

Waiting for Info. There’s only one other car in the lot, presumably hers. Should I be concerned it’s a black Cadillac Escalade? A la Tony Soprano?

Somehow she is taking parts of four parking spots, and it doesn’t look deliberate, just a bad parking job.

Yet more interesting tidbits about info? she's a mobster who can't park?

Or, she's a mobster who doesn't need to know how to park?

Lol!

T2 asked if I'd seen him come in today, as he said he only got there a couple minutes before my appointment. Alas, I was running late--very curious as to what he drives. The parking lot is shared with a coffee shop and restaurant, plus some other offices, so more challenging to figure out his car. I suppose I could just ask him...

I hope she's better at her job then at parking.

I'm very curious about what my T drives too but Im too nervous to ask. My guess is that she drives a sporty luxury car. (Think Bmw convertible) If I ever find out for sure I will report back.

I suspect the same of T2, though I doubt it's too sporty (like, not a 2-seater) since he has a grade-school-aged kid.

MC used to have a luxury car, but 4-door, fairly boring model, and a very practical color. Now he apparently drives (as I've seen him get out of it) a dented silver non-luxury car.

For a long time I thought T1 drove a Lexus, because of a comment she'd made about the dealership when getting repairs. More recently, I made some comment about wondering which car was hers, saying there were lots of those in the parking lot, and she was like, "I don't drive a Lexus and never have!" I eventually figured out (when they moved offices, and having seen other T's in the practice get into/out of their cars) that she actually drives the same make as MC's former luxury car, also in a practical color, but in a much sportier model.

Info...

More later.

well my son had his t session this afternoon but his friend canceled saying he was spending time with his family. we are hoping that is true. i am praying that is true. son's t thinks he should tell his friends parents what's going on, but he doesn't know how to get in touch with them. he did message his friend's sister on social media to call him. i hope she does. i feel so helpless.

being the last client of my T's day, i know what she drives. a beat up old subaru.

That's what MC currently drives Not sure how old it is though.

Mine drives a Prius. He told me once and I've seen him in it a few times.

hey LT--how long are you going to call T2, T2?

I actually remember this session well.

For those tuning in for the Info-ism of the day: “I don’t follow standard protocol when doing EMDR.”

Isn’t that, like, actually important when you’re messing around with EMDR?

Clothing: you know those non-tutu dresses ballerinas wear with the gauzy skirts? That, in navy, with matching shoes, and her standard black leggings.

She spent the day Black Friday shopping, but does not herself give Black Friday discounts.

As for the rest, well, for a few weeks now Info has been convinced she’s the second coming of Jimmy Carter and she’s going to sit 3 and me down via Skype and mediate all our problems. To be fair, this was initially 3’s idea, but Info has grabbed the baton and run with it. I have been consistently against it since first hearing of it, and told her no, for which she heard yes. So when I walked in tonight she wants to talk about this three-way session that isn’t going to happen and the first thing she tells me is she thinks I should pay 3. So, I am supposed to pay 3 for talking out a serious rupture that 3 by her own admission caused, for which she herself suggested this three-way session (and I think it’s ethically dicey for her to expect pay for something outside the norm like that that is her idea), plus 3 and I are no longer therapist-client, so can she even legally take pay from me, and, OH, why are we talking about this anyway, since I said no to such a session happening, so no one’s getting paid at all?

I don’t know whether to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all, roll my eyes at the foibles of therapists, become more cynical about therapists, or go have a session with the punching bag.

Speaking of which, my anti-therapy screeds are apparently nothing to her because they pale beside her engineer husband’s anti-therapy screeds. So I can pretty much go at her as much as I like. A plus, I guess.

And the EMDR? She thinks it will help with the “trauma” of my relationship to 3.

This woman flummoxes me.

Evolutionary psychology is 98% garbage. "It exists because it's adaptive, and it's adaptive because it exists." No. Just no. It's clever to borrow hypotheses from evolutionary biology, but it's nonsense to make claims like this without some pretty substantial evidence.

I spent a decent amount of time wondering what my T drives. It was sort of disappointing to end the speculation when the parking situation at the new office quickly revealed that it's a small red SUV.

One of my weekly appointments makes me the first client of the day. I keep arriving later and later to prevent me from running into her in the parking lot (and/or beating her there), but some days she cuts it pretty close. Maybe I should just start showing up late.

I just wake up and my dad made me cry already. Thanks dad...