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  #876  
Old Nov 24, 2017, 10:50 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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ATAT - it is good when one can rail at them about their horrible profession.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #877  
Old Nov 24, 2017, 11:14 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
ATAT - it is good when one can rail at them about their horrible profession.
True. But even when you feel like you’re in NeverNeverLand?

That’s it...she’s not a wood nymph...she’s Peter Pan.
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  #878  
Old Nov 24, 2017, 11:54 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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It always felt like neverland (or the twilight zone) when I was at an appointment with the woman.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
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  #879  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 02:16 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
H just got home from being a referee for his sport all morning. D was apparently getting sick of me and wanted him, so good timing, I guess...

He asked if she wanted hamburgers for lunch, and I asked if he meant the ones in the fridge. He said yes, and I asked when they were from. He said, "I don't know, Monday or something?" I'm pretty paranoid about food safety (did paper on it in grad school) and checked online and said they're only good for 3-4 days in fridge (yes, I know, many of you have probably eaten much older burgers and been fine!) He was like, "They're fine, I'm not trying to poison our daughter." I tried to protest, saying I'm just trying to be careful, and he just kinda stormed upstairs to take a shower.

Guess that's one more thing to add to my list to talk about in my rescheduled therapy session with T2 this afternoon...
Differing attitudes towards their children's safety is a frequent source of friction between parents.
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  #880  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 02:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Aren't most holidays - if one tries hard enough - built around something bad happening to someone else? Independence celebrations are based on one side wounding/damaging/killing another side; religious ones quite often involve goriness of some sort or signify the start of fighting/misunderstanding/ etc; memorial holidays - well something bad had to happen for people to have to be reminded to remember; mother's days/father's days etc - some had good parents and some had terrible ones.
I think people can spend too much time trying to figure out ways to be offended/identify as victims.
Who is the victim at Christmas?
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  #881  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 02:19 AM
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Waiting for Info. There’s only one other car in the lot, presumably hers. Should I be concerned it’s a black Cadillac Escalade? A la Tony Soprano?

Somehow she is taking parts of four parking spots, and it doesn’t look deliberate, just a bad parking job.
Is she careless and self-centred?
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  #882  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 02:25 AM
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I actually remember this session well.

For those tuning in for the Info-ism of the day: “I don’t follow standard protocol when doing EMDR.”

Isn’t that, like, actually important when you’re messing around with EMDR?

Clothing: you know those non-tutu dresses ballerinas wear with the gauzy skirts? That, in navy, with matching shoes, and her standard black leggings.

She spent the day Black Friday shopping, but does not herself give Black Friday discounts.

As for the rest, well, for a few weeks now Info has been convinced she’s the second coming of Jimmy Carter and she’s going to sit 3 and me down via Skype and mediate all our problems. To be fair, this was initially 3’s idea, but Info has grabbed the baton and run with it. I have been consistently against it since first hearing of it, and told her no, for which she heard yes. So when I walked in tonight she wants to talk about this three-way session that isn’t going to happen and the first thing she tells me is she thinks I should pay 3. So, I am supposed to pay 3 for talking out a serious rupture that 3 by her own admission caused, for which she herself suggested this three-way session (and I think it’s ethically dicey for her to expect pay for something outside the norm like that that is her idea), plus 3 and I are no longer therapist-client, so can she even legally take pay from me, and, OH, why are we talking about this anyway, since I said no to such a session happening, so no one’s getting paid at all?

I don’t know whether to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all, roll my eyes at the foibles of therapists, become more cynical about therapists, or go have a session with the punching bag.

Speaking of which, my anti-therapy screeds are apparently nothing to her because they pale beside her engineer husband’s anti-therapy screeds. So I can pretty much go at her as much as I like. A plus, I guess.

And the EMDR? She thinks it will help with the “trauma” of my relationship to 3.

This woman flummoxes me.
If a T did that to me, I'd fire her.
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  #883  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 04:20 AM
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Demunie Demunie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captgut View Post
I just wake up and my dad made me cry already. Thanks dad...
Here if you want to talk
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  #884  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 04:42 AM
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The conversation with my pottery tutor yesterday went as well as could be expected, I think. I received the assurance that it won't happen again, which I am finding hard to believe. Once I explained the reasons why medical matters are so triggering for me, the unsolicited advice began. 'You shouldn't have opened them [the emails full of medical information]. You should have got someone else to open them and delete them.'

Due to the complexity of the relationship, I couldn't imagine ever doing that...even though it was hard, I felt like I had to stick around.
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  #885  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 08:42 AM
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captgut captgut is offline
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Dad made me cry again. Heh.
It means I still have feelings. Good.
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  #886  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
hey LT--how long are you going to call T2, T2?
Funny, I was actually thinking the same thing! Perhaps it's time he gets elevated to just...T? And T1 becomes ex-T.
  #887  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 09:33 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
Is she careless and self-centred?
I would describe her as more of a flake in a hurry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Funny, I was actually thinking the same thing! Perhaps it's time he gets elevated to just...T? And T1 becomes ex-T.
Nothing wrong with numbering your therapists.
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  #888  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:13 AM
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ruh roh ruh roh is offline
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Oh man, I got whomped flat by grief last night. I'd been having such a good holiday break from everything and then I remembered it was a year ago Thanksgiving that my surviving parent took a one way ticket to crazy town that ended with a spectacular crisis on Christmas Day. How does the mind forget something like that and then decide to release all the memories at once? Grief is so strange.

I recently attended a book reading about having a parent with mental illness and it felt so good to hear what someone else went through. My therapist suggested reading more books about this topic, but I don't know any.
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  #889  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:21 AM
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I dont know the name of the book, but i did read gloria steinem's mother was unwell.
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  #890  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:29 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
Who is the victim at Christmas?
Anyone whose traditional customs were usurped and punished by those celebrating that holiday.
or google christmas day massacre (several come up)
or
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/art...ews-christmas/

Just some quick examples.
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Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, unaluna
  #891  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I would describe her as more of a flake in a hurry.

Nothing wrong with numbering your therapists.
Or giving them nicknames, right? I have a couple nicknames that I use for T2 with a couple people, but they'd be too potentially identifying to use on here. Maybe something else will come to me...
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  #892  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:33 AM
awkwardlyyours awkwardlyyours is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
Oh man, I got whomped flat by grief last night. I'd been having such a good holiday break from everything and then I remembered it was a year ago Thanksgiving that my surviving parent took a one way ticket to crazy town that ended with a spectacular crisis on Christmas Day. How does the mind forget something like that and then decide to release all the memories at once? Grief is so strange.

I recently attended a book reading about having a parent with mental illness and it felt so good to hear what someone else went through. My therapist suggested reading more books about this topic, but I don't know any.
((((rr))))

Rebecca Solnit's 'The Faraway Nearby' -- she starts off with her mother's mental illness and then meditates on a number of other (related) things as well.

There are a few other books as well -- I'll sift through my noodle (am still not sufficiently caffeinated) and let you know if anything else worthwhile pops in.
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  #893  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:35 AM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Will somebody please make coffee and serve it to me in bed? Thanks ever so much!
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  #894  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:42 AM
awkwardlyyours awkwardlyyours is offline
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Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours View Post
((((rr))))

Rebecca Solnit's 'The Faraway Nearby' -- she starts off with her mother's mental illness and then meditates on a number of other (related) things as well.

There are a few other books as well -- I'll sift through my noodle (am still not sufficiently caffeinated) and let you know if anything else worthwhile pops in.
There's also Mary Karr's Liar's club.

rr, I hesitate somewhat to offer this rec -- it's rather intense and Karr's writing (of which I'll admit I'm not a great fan) doesn't help alleviate it. Go slow if you decide to read this, is what I'd say.

There's one other book that I'm trying to remember -- if I recall correctly, it's a memoir by a gay man who moved back (from NYC or some such place) to the Midwest to take care of his mother and how their (rather fraught) relationship got transformed towards the end. If I can find it, I'll pass it on.
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atisketatasket, ruh roh
  #895  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Will somebody please make coffee and serve it to me in bed? Thanks ever so much!
The Gosling is being derelict in his duties?

(I'm assuming the Gosling has the day shift as butler while the Russian ambassador the night one, of course.)
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atisketatasket, unaluna
  #896  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:53 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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How could I forget about the Russian ambassador? He spikes the coffee with vodka, btw.
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awkwardlyyours, unaluna
  #897  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:57 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
Who is the victim at Christmas?

Holy Innocents? The Hessians in Princeton?
  #898  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 10:58 AM
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AY--thanks so much for the book recommendations. I love a well written memoir. One of my all time favorites is Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight. I might read that again too.
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  #899  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 11:03 AM
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I think the celebration of winter solstice isn't based on violence. It probably takes getting away from religious and secular observances to find more peaceful celebrations.
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awkwardlyyours, CantExplain
  #900  
Old Nov 25, 2017, 11:05 AM
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That wasn't the point I was originally making but perhaps not untrue. I don't know. I have my doubts - I believe that if one tried hard enough - one could find some way to make someone into victims over anything= that was my point.
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Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
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