Couch 158: The Newberry Couch!

*hugs hugs hugs*

Capt, psych meds can help with stress, especially if you're in a toxic environment (which you are) which you can't leave (like how I can't yet leave).

Ideally your family would change, but they really sound toxic and really might not change.

I'm nor saying it's a good or right thing to medicate yourself to cope with a toxic environment, but I do take my meds to cope better even though my emotions are valid. Since I can't afford to have a breakdown (it wouldn't get me help...), since I have to keep working hard and coming "home" to that suffocating environment...

I wish I could convey to you how much you matter. How much you deserve a better life than your current.

How angry I am that your family and "friends" dismiss your pain.

Sure but —

a. It’s not just about dress and more importantly,

b. There is no real price to be paid when one appears conforming.

And, the latter, in my opinion, is what really drives the ability to enter a much wider range of social contexts without really thinking about it twice.

So, I’m sorry (at the risk of sounding terribly unimaginative), much as I have sympathy for people’s internal selves not matching their external appearance, it’s not remotely comparable.

Thank you so much <3
But I'm who I am... With them or without them. My family, I mean.

My university has a cheap program for counselling students to cut their teeth on students and staff who sign up. 15 sessions for $20 for the whole semester for faculty.

Maybe I should sign up and terrorize whoever I get assigned to? Show them the wisdom of a career change?

Setting off to go on vacation with my parents (to whom I am a huge emotional disappointment, mostly because I’m unable to fill the holes in their hearts I think). The trip is ostensibly a gift to me (congratulations for finishing med school) but I didn’t ask for it or want it and I couldn’t turn it down without it becoming a huge terrible blowout fight that I didn’t have the energy for.

Accepting any and all hugs, advice, smoke signals, prayers, good vibes, Happy Thoughts, etc etc.

Good luck, chihirochild! I can't imagine that somebody who can finish med school and can post so many witty and insightful things here could be a total disappointment. I hope you manage to squeeze some enjoyment out of the trip!

We're not responsible for making someone else happy.

Personally I think you're an inspiration to be honest. I still have another 3 years left (6 year course), congratulations on finishing despite everything you've been through.

Do it! xDDDD

What Manatee said....

Three new Oreo flavors:

Cherry cola

Pina colada

Kettle corn

Alas we will have to wait six months to sample these indubitably gustatory delights.

Eta: also announced today, Mystery Oreos were in fact Fruity Pebbles flavored.

Art - are you okay? You appear... sad to me

No way!!! You were right!! tell me you entered your guess. I entered mine. Whatever it was. Talladega Tamarind...? Stg like that.

Maybe you can practice putting tourniquets on them every night - that would be something to look forward to!

Oh hell yeah!

Oh yeah, I'm good. Not sad at all. But thanks for checking. I was just agreeing w what Manatee responded to chihiro but I think some other posts snuck in between and made mine a lil confusing!

Seeing T again tomorrow to deal with some of the MC stuff. Part of what he (T) brought up with me yesterday was how MC (both his professional and, uh, personal persona) might have felt when he (they?) received the love e-mail I sent last week (and follow-up messages, attempting to get him to tell me if he was going to bring it up in session or leave it up to me). T spent a long time on that, asking me how I thought it might have been received, like he kept asking the question, "So how do you think Dr. MC might have felt receiving that?" as I kept avoiding the answer. He ended up using this long analogy with someone (hypothetical person) wanting a divorce, and the partner not wanting one, but whenever the partner wanting the divorce was nice to the other partner (this was easier when he was using his hands to represent them!) the other partner thought, "Oh, good, reconciliation!" Anyway, I get what he was trying to do, but his approach kind of backfired because I ended up sobbing about whether T thinks I'm just some pathetic person misinterpreting MC's warmth and niceness. (Of course T said I wasn't pathetic and seemed to have realized he pushed that a little too far.)

So...for tomorrow, would it be appropriate to start the session saying something like, "This is what I need from you today. Part of me is blaming myself for everything that's gone wrong/changed with MC. I need you to help me quiet that part down, so I can listen to the part that's saying this isn't all my fault, how MC has played a big role in this with his fuzzy, shifting boundaries. I know you've tried not to judge him, but I really need your support, of me, right now to help me get through this. So can we focus more on my side of things?"

Like, is that an OK thing to open with? He already knows I need to talk more about MC.

Why would that be wrong, LT? It’s assertive and states your needs clearly.

In fact I may steal it for my session with Info in 90 minutes as I think I need to talk about 3 with her. (Just swap MC for 3 in your speech.)

Half the Internet guessed Fruity Pebbles, so I didn’t bother. I like the name “Talladega Tamarind Oreos” though!

PC wont let me uplaod pics anymore theysay they are invalid files but they arethe same files i always use. Off to tech support forum i go.

Steal away! I don't know, I think you should say MC just to really confuse her...Hope it goes well--will hop in pocket if you like.

And you're right, I don't know why it wouldn't be OK. I think the MC stuff is just making me doubt things, worry about being assertive and stating my needs. I'm really wondering if it wasn't so much all the contact last week as the fact that I was very critical to him on the phone Sunday that made him say what he did about outside contact (though, I guess, the call was outside contact too, even though he's the one who called me...)

Basically, I don't want to risk pushing T away right now...but if something like that would push him away, he's probably not worth having in the first place!

How about talking about discontinuing outside contact? Just TALKING about it. Seems like you guys keep changing subjects all the time.

Maybe if you talked about what to do when the urge strikes, set new ground rules like maybe you can email but not text unless its a defacto emergency, or that yes mc can say how much time he has.

This IS "dealing with things that come up in the relationship."

I think ive been seeing other people with the same complaint.

ATAT and LT — umm.....what’s up with Info and T?

Current T categorically called former T as being off her rocker and having “issues of her own”.

T, I considered seeing when current T was pissing me off a bit much totally agreed with me that current T has major issues of her own.

I’m happy to lend you my ability to make therapists crib about other therapists (or you need to move to areas where therapists aren’t highly in demand).