Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

Maybe it was a "come dressed as a millenial" party? Im grasping at straws here!

I do that too, but i dont dress ugly while im doing it

She’s holding her baby grandson while wearing the shirt.

Mostly i have a problem with the "cold shoulder" look. Also that it appears to be a petroleum product.

Crisis lines are useless. The guy, who has a masters in science, was trying to compare my situation to his divorce. Um, yeah, okay. Did your wife set your house on fire?? I think not. And gave me some cautionary tale about "suicidal gestures" and their dire consequences. Like I haven't thought any of that through. Then offered to send the cops to my house. No thanks, buddy, no thanks. At least I'm not crying anymore, just seething with anger.

I’m pleased to report cinnamon Oreos are pretty decent.

Aw, NP. What a loser. The guy on the crisis line, not you.

Does anyone, ever, say "Yes, please call the cops on me"? I mean, if I wanted to go to ER, I would just go there and skip the whole calling the police thing. I guess you would save cab fare?

What a dope. I'll be mad with you!

What a spoilsport. And if she thinks dressing down is going to stop her patients sexualising her, she knows nothing about human nature. And what use is a therapist that knows nothing about human nature?

I’m sorry NP, this sounds awful. Tbh, I agree with you.
and they hung up on me ( because I couldn’t stop laughing, I laugh when I don’t know what to say. Don’t really blame them but yeah..)

I’m sorry this happened to you, I wish you could get more of the support you deserve.

I hope your feeling slightly better NP.

Dear mum,

I really am "sick" now and haven't just been indulgent for the past two days . Can you please come and look after me now?

I hope you feel better soon

Feel better lemon cake!

Hugs.

Oh boy, makes me glad that my bf's family aren't anywhere as fluent in English as he is, so we can't talk deep stuff.

Though it was mildly triggering for me when they passed around photos of one of them when she was a child.

Can you and your bf come up with a signal, "safe word" or 'safe phrase"? My bf and me decided that if I found something triggering and wanted his help to redirect the conversation, I'll text him.

All by myself at my end of the floor at work at 6am on a Sunday morning is a beautiful thing!

Hee hee I worked an email earlier where the member wrote in to tell us to "quit fiddlefarting around". This is my word of the day.

She needs to write one for men that includes "Don't leave you polo shirt unbuttoned such that your chest hair is spilling out." MC could use that one... Also "Buy new shoes once in a while. Or use this thing called shoe polish." And "If you're going to wear a suit sometimes, make sure it fits well. If it's too big on you, there's this thing called alterations that can be really helpful. You don't want your clients to associate you with David Byrne."

Current T would not need such a guide--he seems fashionable yet appropriate.

What I don't get about CounselorBarb™'s fixation on being sexually irresistible to clients is that aren't most clients women? I mean, I realize there can still be attraction--my therapist apparently deals with this--but on the whole, why is this such a concern? I felt like I was reading a 1950's manual on how not to tempt men into bad behavior.

Woo just found out I only have to do 7 hrs of overtime today! Yay!

I wonder what my person's students thought of her clothing - she was a tad eccentric to begin with and as the disease progressed she wore scarves and other clothing to hide the chemo port she had and, because of chemo, she was cold all the time so she would be bundled up in layers all year round. Some of the treatments caused odd swelling -so sometimes she would wear clothes too big to accomodate discomfort. She still travelled around the world giving lectures, but sometimes wore odd shoes because of swelling, neuropathy, and other side effects that manifested on the soles of her feet.
Plus I just really am against the idea that women are to be judged on their clothing or weight or appearance.

CounselorBarb™ assumes we're all into boobs and curves. But what if the thing that really gets me going is judgmental bloggers in frumpy outfits?

I’m paying Info. I get to judge her, whether it’s her therapeutic techniques, her obvious nuttiness, her office decor, or her clothing. The clothing and decor don’t bother me enough to leave (though the other things may eventually), but it is distracting to me to have her breasts constantly in my face (less constantly now that it’s winter, though sometimes she still manages). Even though I’m not attracted to her.

And I think that clothing choices do indicate personality, and that is fine, but they might also indicate issues. Info dressing forty years younger than her age, the odd choice of skin tones and hair colors, suggest to me that she is not comfortable in her own skin. And that there might be issues that indirectly affect my therapy.

This isn’t actually even because she’s a woman, that just affects what’s on display. I’d find tight pants on a male therapist distracting, and visible chest hair (a la MC) or no undershirt too.

I am of the opinion that therapists should offer as little distraction as possible, either in their offices or their clothing. It’s a place to focus. Just as there shouldn’t too much self-disclosure.

My therapist has worn dirty trousers on more than one occasion. I mean I don't really care what he wears but I would like him to put on clean clothes

I am not saying don't judge the therapist on whatever basis you want to judge her on.
I am saying that there are or may be reasons that people dress in a way that seems odd to others that are based on factors outside of their control. I dress like an L.L. Bean catalog lesbian ex-nun. I'm comfortable and if others think I look goofy that is something I am not going to try really to control. As my grandmother used to say it's one of the dubious benefits of getting old. When I was in law school an article came out about how to tell if your professor was an alien and a lot of it was the they dress funny, don't get cultural references and have odd syntax. These days I feel certain some of my students would immediately think of me after reading the article.

I don't generally judge a therapist on clothing because I don't notice it. I judge them on not being well read Because the woman never understood what I was talking about and if she simply read some of the classics, I believe she might have. No better way to judge them just a different one

"Info dressing forty years younger than her age, the odd choice of skin tones and hair colors, suggest to me that she is not comfortable in her own skin"

We just read this differently - to me this sort of thing would more suggest that she is completely comfortable in her own skin and wears what she wants to wear/does her hair like she wants etc. For me, I would find conforming to what society expects of an older woman to look like if that is not one's taste, is more a sign of not being comfortable. I think it can be read in more than one way. Not that your way is wrong - just that there can be multiple rights.

One time the woman had some foot problem or ankle surgery or something - I did not ask and she did not tell me what was going on (she did berate me for not asking - that just dug us both into our respective positions further) - but she did make a disparaging remark about the fact she was wearing sneakers rather than fashionable footwear. Since I always wear sneakers except to court or other business places, I did not see the problem - it did, however, concern her - vanity or her sense of professional attire or what ever was involved. I figured it was her problem not mine.

I really should put my syllabi together - but I just keep procrastinating.