Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

I just called a crisis line and the recording said they record all the phone calls so I hung up. I don't want to be recorded. That's just wrong.

There are some peer lines, have you tried one of those? I don't have it handy anymore but if you need it, I can try to find it.

no way! i teach 2 year olds, and a child the other day saw me drinking water out of a can (energy drink), and goes "What are you drinking? A beer?" LOL.

I also had another child last year who used to always use this wooden milk bottle we have, slam it down on the table, go AHHHHHH and say "This is good beer!"

Yes, this was the county hotline. I've used the national one before, but they reroute you based on your phone number and I never changed my phone number when I moved here. I get rerouted to a Southern US state and I know it's being picky, but I'd just rather not. The last time I did that the woman put me on hold while I was talking without telling me. I hung up that time too.

Maybe I'll just sit here and try to quit feeling sorry for myself.

you forgot that we were carrying the bus on our back also

NP hope you get the support you need tonight.

When my girls were in daycare we were asked to bring in store bought birthday cakes as they have incidences of parents putting drugs in the cake. Wtf?

With no shoes and piece of burlap to cover us

I am sure the girls in the office will be glad that I am there.:. She tried really hard to get me not to cancel all of my appointments and reassured me I could call at any time and come back.. maybe it will just hurt my pride a bit!

That is wrong.

I think I forgot to mention that last night I finally told t how a while back, h had threatened to leave me if I didn't quit t. And how I responded what the **** do you think I've been trying to do since august? And he shut up about it and now has conveniently forgotten that he said it. She was so shocked and sympathetic that he had said that. She said boy he is really threatened by your growth isn't he.

I am so very glad I went last night. One of our top 10 for sure, maybe even in the top 5 sessions.

Ok I'm back to this. Maybe that's what she was talking about last night about that whole I've bought the ticket thing... my self-work really pretty much DID start with therapy, I was so unconscious before then... I dunno. That yes it IS my life now, but until I stop fighting that fact (why I do that I don't know, ego as she said?) and LET it be, it's gonna feel like this?? Am I rambling nonsensically or making any little bit of sense at all?

Thank you.

When my daughter was only about 3 she thought that anything adults can drink but children cannot was called "beer." And thus she cheerfully told another mom that her dad drinks beer every morning. It was coffee, of course.

My son called apple juice "kid beer" when he was little....

lol! 2 year olds drive me innssaannneeeeee...but they can be awfully cute and funny

Hey, happy new year, granite! I used the other day and i thought of you

I feel like my mood swings are getting worse. I woke up with heavy anxiety yesterday and it changed to this crazy happy phase for no real particular reason. I sent R an embarrassing email telling him that I loved him and some other ramblings about flowers. Everything was just better and it was intense but within an hour I came crashing back down again. By 4pm I was wiped out emotionally I couldn't do anything so just stayed in bed and cried.

My exam is on Friday and I'm so overwhelmed right now.

I want to wreck my relationship with R and I'm tempted to email someone else today asking if they could see me because I feel like such a mess and don't want to wait until tuesday. I don't know how to sit with these feelings over the weekend whilst I just waste time in bed because my brain can't handle anymore.

Do you have any safety medication, like Ativan? Exams are super stressful, but they do end.
I used to have a crazy belief that got me through college and grad school. Someone taught me you just need 1 4 hour REM cycle( probably not true). I would go to bed at some crazy time like 5pm sleep until 9 pm, and then get up and study right up to exam time with tons of coffee. 4 hours sleep - rinse repeat for next exam/paper. It was eccentric but I got very good grades lol. This is the time when all that container. lock box thinking would come in handy, so you could picture your emotional stuff with T locked in Tupperware and placed on a shelf until after exams. Compartmentalized for just a few days. . .

How do you all feel about this

I saw that in the store the other day! I had kind of an ick response, but then I can't really enjoy sugary cereal the way I used to. The box kind of reminded me of The Simpsons for some reason.

Still, I would definitely choose that over red hot cinnamon Oreos...

I think YUM!

I have emailed my therapist about taking a break and she said she understands that therapy gives me some of what I need, but misses the mark, that I know how she works and what she has to offer. All of that is true. She also said that when she's had clients take breaks, it helps to have a plan in place. Mine is to lose myself in work and be glad for the extra time and money not spent...but that will probably wear off after a few days. Has anyone who's taken a break worked out some kind of plan? Does anyone even know what that means?

I don't understand what "pink donut" flavor is...strawberry??

When I took my longest break which was around 3 months or something several years back, I set up an email address for myself called "inner-therapist@xxxx.xxx" and emailed stuff to that instead of to t, and then would open them and spend some time working with the stuff once a week or so in place of a session. I also had 'artists dates" with myself (at the time I was working through "The Artists Way" thing) and did things like went to a florist and just wandered among the fresh flowers enjoying the scents and then bought myself a bouquet.

I'm on a break again now (that I briefly interrupted with a couple of sessions haha) and I think I'm going to 'make a plan' for it again, because it was helpful when I did that before. To me, having a plan for it means having "stuff" to keep me present, from getting "all up in my head", and to keep my process going.

No I don't have any medication and to be honest I'm weary of starting anything again. I slept a little bit cried a bit more and hurt myself. I;m going to force myself to get up and shower then just do what I can.