Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

Nothing. It's not on her. It's all me, all my fault, like everything else.

Why do I even come here.

Because you love us. Or because we love you.

So, how does that make you feeeeeel

Yeah, I tend to journal. It usually works for me. I also don't have a definite end with T3, but I am just not happy with lack of progress. Actually I am not happy because I think I am making backward progress, and she just suggests meds. Note: I am not against meds other than I have tried many (like 20) and they don't work other than Xanax. And I am against that due to my history of alcoholism.

Where did this come from? I never said it was all your fault. I don't even know how fault would work into it.
All I was asking was if you had an idea of what would demonstrate to you that she was respecting your decisions?

I'm sorry if I contributed to this. I hope you come here because you're loved and adored here.

My dogs are eating the cat's catnip.
Clearly they have species identity problems and I need to find them a therapist.
__________________
And for some reason I had originally put this in a different thread where it made no sense at all

Omg, that's exactly what is happening to me right now! It's 81 in my bedroom and should start snowing (um, outside) any minute now...

They can do SIT (species identity therapy).

I am not going to stop seeing T2 until he retires, if that makes you feel any better.

(T1 serves one purpose only, which should run its course this year. Thank god.)

I would write, "I don't trust scales that range from 1-10."

(It's a serious pet peeve of mine.)

That sounds like some intense paperwork, btw.

Am I the only one who read the description of the paperwork and thought "yay lawyers"?

Yup, art similar to this (no offense intended, Picasso):

I was wondering exactly where they fit into the paperwork.

Tell me he wasnt on drugs!

We are the reason paperwork exists. I love lawyer writing.

SD I hesitate to actually write or say the word snow lest I speak it into existence. Sorry! We didn't get any in my area, but proponents at work were practically begging for it. I'm not a fan.

So, I am sure I'm over-thinking this but....

It's snowing here and well, let's just say the area (state, really) is not even remotely made for it. People freak out, traffic sucks and it's all round crappy.

My session's in a couple of hours (9.30 to 10.30pm).

Current T mocks folks here for not knowing how to deal with snow (apparently she grew up in snowy places and so on).

But, given the general batshit craziness (I am totally okay with the snow), I am wondering if I should offer to current T to skip my session -- her car's parked in the open air and it'll be a pretty solid amount of accumulation by the time we get out (since she has sessions back to back all evening).

I kind of feel bad about her having to scrape out all that crap after a really long day anyhow -- I know it's none of my business and for what it's worth, I'd feel the same way about anyone I'm meeting, including random acquaintances.

So, I was thinking of either cutting short my session early or skipping altogether but not quite telling her why (since then we'll get into the whole "You don't have to take care of me blah blah" thing).

I am guessing conventional wisdom would dictate that I should just shut up and attend my session as normal and go on?

I was really hoping it was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Do it if you think it'll be helpful. It's been helpful for me, I think. It's certainly intense at times. I do wonder if he gets sick of me though. Or if they actually like seeing people more frequently.

Don't mind me, couch. I'm just trapped in the "what I want doesn't matter" complex or whatever.

But it does matter I want to scream! It matters to me!!!!

Maybe I should scream that at an empty chair or something.

I could copy and paste but there's no way I'd ever be able to spell that!

I got to session and he had made progress but still hadn't finished reading my journal. Not sure how I feel about that. It was only 7 pages. Anyway, I told him I was anxious and to stop reading it. We talked about it for a while. He offered to finish reading it right then so I could stop being anxious. He wrote something down while he was reading. He wanted to know why I was so anxious about it. I couldn't really put it into words. When I got back to work, I printed the thing out and highlighted all the passages that made me anxious or that I never would say out loud to him. I plan on showing it to him tomorrow. Maybe it will help if we can discuss why these particular things made me anxious to share. I hope so because I still feel some anxiety over it.

I found this did help me. I hope it helps you.

And yeah, 7 pages not much. I gave my T 17 pages yesterday and I see her tomorrow. Granted we talked about a lot of what was in those 17 pages yesterday. I'm not sure she'll get through all of them. It was a rough weekend for me. I really do try to keep it closer to that 7-9 level with 3-4 of them being session notes. I don't really count those too much because I figure it makes her job tracking stuff much easier.

If you are comfortable driving (which I think is the most important thing, and it sounds like you are), then I would assume she is as well unless she cancels, and just go ahead with it.