[hopealwayz]

Instead of emailing T daily, I could write what I want in a thread and send it on Mondays and Thursdays.

[ScarletPimpernel]

That and/or journal, and read it together during your sessions.

I find it helpful to journal in a word document to my T.

[fille_folle]

I have a blog that I post in most days. I bring select posts to session with me for T to read. I find that helpful.

[confused_77]

Hmm I like the idea of a word document but I think emails are not really intrusuve, not as much as other ways of communicating online. Its not in your face. Even if there is an instant notification on the phone the recieving person can chose to ignore it.
Obviously I asked about emails here so much and once I got to the conclusion that I dont need to feel guilty about sending them the frequency didnt change it just became even more enjoyable to write them. I like to imagine that T cares, that she reads the with interest, I like to think that my thoughts matter. I like to think that there is someone out there who want to know them. I cannot imagine a single person who would do that from real life...

[Cornucopia]

I think that would be a good idea, maybe you get some input from people here as well. That might make it easier to sort out what you want to send T, or read for him/her in session.
Getting thoughts out and on a paper often helps me, I write journals for myself all the time.

You could make a thread and keep your journal there maybe

[seeker33]

This is how I do it (my therapy is online consisting of chat + messages, but mainly chat twice a week).
I write everything I want to in a word document to release the tension and urge. Then I make it shorter and only leave the most important points. Imagine you're taking detailed notes from a textbook. I make sure not to write more than one page in a document, usually I keep it about half a page. I make sure to use paragraphs and proper formatting for easy reading.

I would like to message every single day, to chat with my therapist all the time. But I realise less is more and that sending too many or too long messages would cause my therapist to burn out and become fed up with me. So that would lower the quality of the therapy.

I message about 2-3 days a week in addition to chat sessions (when the therapy takes place). I use mails mainly to send the "homework" and comment on previous and future sessions.

[MoxieDoxie]

Do your T's respond to the messages or emails you send or do they wait to discuss anything in session?

[hopealwayz]

My T responds to some of them but he did say that he reads all of them though.

[HD7970GHZ]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

Instead of emailing T daily, I could write what I want in a thread and send it on Mondays and Thursdays.

This is a very good idea for a number of reasons. It is a healthy boundary and it is a great suggestion for others too.

Emails that you send to your therapist can and will be used against you in a court of law if ever they are to be subpoenaed.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

Instead of emailing T daily, I could write what I want in a thread and send it on Mondays and Thursdays.

That's a good idea.My main concern would be privacy issues though.No way would I share here what I talk about with my T,but that's just me.

If your T is fine with emails,and reads them,why do you want to stop doing that?Instead of sending one daily,if that's what bothers you,why not just save it in your drafts and add on daily then send it once or twice per week?

[DP_2017]

I agree with above. Thread idea not good for privacy
Plus do you want him to know your name here and possibly read old posts?

I would say write up emails and print. Bring them in or wtite down in journal some stuff and bring it in. After
His last reply you gotta be very careful on emailing.

When is your break over? When do you return?

[hopealwayz]

He says my emails are not a problem. I’m confused.

[hopealwayz]

I hope he doesn’t recognize me from my posts now.

[DP_2017]

Well he willl if you show him a thread. Yes its ok to email but not exsessivly. I cant remember his exact words but yrs he basically told you to cut down or he may terminate. When do you go back? You can discuss all this then

[hopealwayz]

I asked him if he was planning to terminate me.

[seeker33]

Why would he terminate you if you respect the boundaries?
You're a good and intelligent person, Hope. Just practice social skills, that's all. Therapy is the right place to do that. Ask him to give you a specific number how many mails and how long can you send a week. Then respect the boundary. You'll feel so much better! And you'll be proud of your progress! 😉
Wish you all the best!

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by seeker33

Why would he terminate you if you respect the boundaries?
You're a good and intelligent person, Hope. Just practice social skills, that's all. Therapy is the right place to do that. Ask him to give you a specific number how many mails and how long can you send a week. Then respect the boundary. You'll feel so much better! And you'll be proud of your progress! 😉
Wish you all the best!

Agree. I only mentioned it cuz she wss contacting him multiple times a day on weekends or something recently and he was not happy based on the email she shared. Mentioning something about that if she kept doing that.

However yes setting good boundaries will not get termination and yes you feel good about yourself when you can

Hope...what did he say? Did you see him recently?

[hopealwayz]

I got bad news yesterday and called the office to see if he would call me but he never called.

I’m about to quit with him.

[hopealwayz]

He got upset about phone calls to him not emails.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

He got upset about phone calls to him not emails.

I thought it said both. I cant remember. Well quit if you want. Maybe he isn't the type of t you need.

If you do. I suggest a male t with strict boundarirs or a female. Either way be open right away about your struggles with contact and discuss boundaries so you are prepared

If you stay with this t. I hope you can make progress. Seems like you cut back.contact already so awesome progress for you

Sucks he didn't call and kind of rude. Maybe give him another day or two. He might be super busy

[musinglizzy]

I don't Email my T as much as I used to, but sometimes what I used to do, especially when she's on vacation and I feel like "venting" while I'm in the moment, I'll start an Email, and just keep adding to it throughout the week. She liked my doing that. She pretty much knew that whenever she was on vacation, she could expect a long Email when she got home.

I thought the T told you directly what he could and could not do for you? Then you said you decided to take a break in one of your other posts. Are you going back now?
I’m trying to follow along.

[SalingerEsme]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I got bad news yesterday and called the office to see if he would call me but he never called.

I’m about to quit with him.

I sympathize with testing him and then wanting to quit if he doesn't pass, but that is so damaging to relationships both real and T ones. Try not to test him. Give him the freedom to react as he needs without you quitting or abandoning the relationship. Try to receive what he DOES give you, and let that grow. Please don't quit. You have practice getting mad and quitting, so what you need more practice at doing is staying , not quitting, without making such big demands on the other person that you set them upon to fail you.

[scorpiosis37]

How often do you see the T? Maybe try to limit yourself to one e-mail only between sessions and no phone calls, since you said he got upset about the phone calls. In between sessions, try what you suggested about writing a thread or journaling to get your feelings out. I know it can seem like every new feeling or thing that happens is important so you have to tell T right away— but it’s reakly not. Get out your feelings by journaling and then bring it to session. Learn to sit with those feelings for a few days without having to call or email T. Or call a friend. Or go for a walk. You’re a strong person; I know you can keep those boundaries if you put your mind to it!