Addicted to T

I sleep with an appointment reminder card from my T (sometimes). I used to sleep with my treatment plan. I do weird things like this because thinking about T helps me to relax. I don't know why thinking about T soothes me as much as it does. Sometimes, when I get real stressed out, I miss T so much. Trying to write this is making me cry. I have complained to T about my addiction to her. She replied that there is such a thing as a positve addiction. I don't need her advice. I just need her to believe in me when I can't. I have known her for almost two years. Why am I so attached to her? I never told her about the appointment reminder card or treatment plan thing. I'm too embarassed to tell anyone about this in real life. I have an appointment reminder card in my work uniform and my practicum folder (I'm learning to be an addiction counselor). Is there anyone out there as addicted to their counselor as I am? I sometimes think of her as my inner-child's mother. I don't like to depend on others because then I have to trust them not to hurt me. Boo! Hoo!

I kept a "note" (actually just directions on how to climb the stairs to her office, like I couldn't have figured that out LOL :-) that my T taped to the front door of the business park "townhouse" she was practicing in for me for over a year and then gave it back to her and told her I "didn't need it" anymore.

I kept her old business card even after she gave me her new one; the information on the old one wasn't any good anymore. It's fine to have reminders and things like that that soothe one. You won't need it forever, it will become less important. I saw my T for 9 years!

Sounds like a therapeutic relationship that works!

On a lighter "note"... remember that 80s ? song Addicted to Love? Fill in instead: You might as well face it, you're addicted to T. It's a good thing.

Hey. Sounds like a transitional object to me.

Little kids... Are soothed by their parents presence. But then sometimes they can't be in their parents presence because their parents need to go do something else. So... The kid gets themself a transitional object (e.g., Linnus with his blanket, or a kid with a teddy bear or something like that). The idea is that the soothing of the parent is transfered (in the kids mind) to the object such that the kid is soothed in the presence of the object. Maybe... By thinking about the parent and the object helps the kid feel soothed (in the presence of SOMETHING)

What happens next?

The kid 'internalises' the object so that the kid is able to soothe themself.

Can take some time... But we will get there.

My t is a p-doc. I got him to write me a prescription for a medication that I don't really need. The jar of pills is my transitional object. I keep it someplace by my bed so I can look at it... I also have one of his cards in my wallet... Hang in there.

When my T was on vacation I slept with the book he gave me.

The adult read it during the day, the inner-child slept with it at night.

I have these CDs that he made for me in which he wrote the name of the compositions on the CD-- sometimes I enjoy looking at his handwriting more than listening to the music.

These objects can be very comforting and soothing.

i feel the same way. I have what i feel is too much of an addiction or a dependence. i wish i didnt need my T. I have lots of fears related to needing her. I wonder if I will ever be able to let the relationship go

i'm only just starting to feel this "need." i have needed him in a practical way before, but i am just now starting to feel like i need *him.* i wish i had something to hold onto. i have some voicemails i play again and again which help... but i wish i had something visible, tangible. That need is very strong.

Alex, i feel like that kid is sitting there with nothing, just bare floor and empty space. No parent, no object.

Hopefull... maybe you could ask for a voicemail or some other objects. She seems to understand how you are feeling... maybe you can agree on an object. If it troubles you to feel this way, then maybe you could work with her to develop ways of keeping your "addiction time" limited. Allow yourself an hour for example during which the object is yours and you can focus on it alone.

dunno.. just throwing out ideas.

I can't say I'm addicted to my t but i worry that someday she will move away ot something similar that will force me to find another t.
For me, she is the only person who listens AND understands. I'm getting the positive attention I have not received.

I'm just like the all of you too. If he writes anything down I keep that piece of paper like he was a rock star. I'm glad I'm not alone.

I never had the experience of sootheing myself using a thought of a parent. (I don't think but I have no memories before the fourth grade). I mean I have read of the idea of internalizing these things but I wonder if I will be able to get back to sootheing myself without an appoinment card, the copy of the treatment plan ( I memorized most of the words because I used to read it before going to bed. Seeing her writing makes me think of her and her office. It soothes me and makes me feel relaxed.)
My sweet T made me a relaxation tape. The sound is poor at best. It doesn't even sound quite as good as an old voice mail that I kept for a month or so before I allowed it to be automatically deleted. But, I know that I will play it to death because she says that I am a good person because of who I am. I am not used to "praise for being" rather than praise for what we do. I like feeling like I can be a good person in her eyes even if I screw up in some way. Why couldn't my parents be more accepting of me? Boo hoo.

Thanks for responding. I am glad to see that I am not the only person who develops a strange technique of sootheing oneself using things connected with T. Why are T's so sootheing when they don't sit around and soothe us? I mean she just suggests different ways of looking at whats bothering me.

I didn't want to leave her office today. I told her that I want to wrap myself around her and never let her go. I hugged her on the way down the hall way from the office.