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  #1  
Old Jun 15, 2018, 04:41 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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I cry several times during almost each session since a couple of months and even if I know therapy "is the place" to cry at and itīs seen as normal to show all kinds of feelings I at the same time realise that so much crying wouldnīt be seen as normal if it was "outside therapy".

Itīs not that my T shows thereīs something wrong about it but I feel I end up at session and cry like a little child over things that wonīt get better even if I cry over them. I for example cry about me being unemployed and as most adults find work, go to work and cope with that I feel like an incapable child that cry instead of doing something.


I have done a lot but it hasnīt been enough but it can easily be perceived as feeling sorry for myself and going into "child mood" which I partly do in therapy. Not that I act like a child or talk like one but more the feelings of helplessness.

I also donīt like dependence on my T that come with this, Iīm not a child and she canīt fix my problems like with unemployment. At the same time as sheīs very supportive itīs like she supports me on something that I as an adult should be able to fix myself. Like finding work, having an intimate relationships.

Can anybody relate to this?
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  #2  
Old Jun 15, 2018, 05:01 PM
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mcl6136 mcl6136 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden View Post
I cry several times during almost each session since a couple of months and even if I know therapy "is the place" to cry at and itīs seen as normal to show all kinds of feelings I at the same time realise that so much crying wouldnīt be seen as normal if it was "outside therapy".

Itīs not that my T shows thereīs something wrong about it but I feel I end up at session and cry like a little child over things that wonīt get better even if I cry over them. I for example cry about me being unemployed and as most adults find work, go to work and cope with that I feel like an incapable child that cry instead of doing something.


I have done a lot but it hasnīt been enough but it can easily be perceived as feeling sorry for myself and going into "child mood" which I partly do in therapy. Not that I act like a child or talk like one but more the feelings of helplessness.

I also donīt like dependence on my T that come with this, Iīm not a child and she canīt fix my problems like with unemployment. At the same time as sheīs very supportive itīs like she supports me on something that I as an adult should be able to fix myself. Like finding work, having an intimate relationships.

Can anybody relate to this?
So....only children can cry/feel helpless/be dependent?
Is this really what you mean or am I taking you too literally?
Why do you think you should be able to "fix" these things and not cry?
Cry!
Wallow!
Be dependent!
Part of what we want/need/deserve from therapy is unconditional positive regard and maybe you need to cash that check and enjoy?

You won't feel or be this way forever, but maybe you just need a lot of support right now and what is really wrong with that?

Just my two cents on a Friday afternoon.
Thanks for this!
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  #3  
Old Jun 15, 2018, 06:02 PM
ChickenNoodleSoup ChickenNoodleSoup is offline
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Crying is a normal part of being sad and feeling and processing that emotion. I don't think crying in therapy makes me a child. It helps me feel emotions I should have long ago about things that I have troubles with. And sometimes I cry about current things, and that's okay too, since if I would not I would probably just repeat my old pattern of ignoring my feelings until it surfaces as some kind of ugly volcano trying to kill or hurt something or someone.
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  #4  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 12:46 AM
maybeblue maybeblue is offline
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I cry all the time in therapy. I'm not sure it has anything to do with feeling childlike though. Mostly it just happens when I'm feeling sad or anxious or angry...which is a lot of time in therapy. I used to be kind of embarrassed about it, but I've gotten over that. Now I just make sure that the kleenex is placed within reach as soon as I get there.

I don't like the dependent feeling though. I don't like feeling that I need someone who doesn't need me. It's so one sided. It doesn't entirely feel safe because I know that she could decide to quit or whatever and I'd have no say in it.
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  #5  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 07:21 AM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. No, it's not that I mean that only children can cry and feel dependent but thatīs how so much crying makes me feel personally.

The reason I think I should be able to fix things is because the things I see a therapist for are problems that most adults solve on their own. I donīt have any diagnosis besides depression which I also havenīt had for all of my adult life, just for three years or such.

Iīm nearly 40 and I sit there crying about that I donīt have a job and that I never have had a intimate relationship. I havenīt experienced any trauma like abuse which could explain this.

To look for a job and to get a job and being able to find a partner and have intimate relationships is something most people manage but obviously I donīt. (Iīm already evaluated for different psychiatric diagnosis and I have none besides depression and light anxiety).

Even if I get emotional support I donīt engage in looking for work or seeking a partner, perhaps itīs because I need more therapy first or itīs just that Iīm too afraid and lack the emotional strength to cope with adult things. I donīt have any driverīs license either, itīs another thing that makes me feel like Iīm stuck in my teenage years but in an adult body.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mcl6136 View Post
So....only children can cry/feel helpless/be dependent?
Is this really what you mean or am I taking you too literally?
Why do you think you should be able to "fix" these things and not cry?
Cry!
Wallow!
Be dependent!
Part of what we want/need/deserve from therapy is unconditional positive regard and maybe you need to cash that check and enjoy?

You won't feel or be this way forever, but maybe you just need a lot of support right now and what is really wrong with that?

Just my two cents on a Friday afternoon.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
  #6  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 07:22 AM
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seeker33 seeker33 is offline
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I cry during about 75% of my sessions and it's also sometimes weird for me because in my real life I almost don't cry at all. I've always been tough or frozen, suppressing my emotions. Since I've began therapy, I cry and cry, as if trying to compensate all times that I should have cried in the past but didn't.
What I find though is that the me I cry the more positive emotions I feel and the more energy I have. I've learned to "enjoy" crying in a certain sense.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, SarahSweden
  #7  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 07:50 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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I cry quite a bit in therapy, too (and some outside of therapy). I think it's actually more of a good thing because it's a safe place to let those emotions out. When I was a kid, I was taught to keep my emotions inside, which I don't think is healthy.

This would be a good topic to discuss with your therapist, how you associate crying with being child-like. And how you feel you can't do things that "normal" adults are able to do.


Also, out of curiosity, is ADHD something they screened for? It's something that can interfere with doing some things like finding/keeping jobs. And it often presents differently in women than in men. Just a thought!
Thanks for this!
SarahSweden
  #8  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 07:53 AM
nicoleflynn nicoleflynn is offline
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Crying is healing.Did you know that the components in tears of sadness and pain are different than tears of joy and happiness?
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  #9  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 11:03 AM
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cinnamon_roll cinnamon_roll is offline
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Been there. It does get better. Eventually.

Still, being in the middle of it really sucks. It's painful. It's unnerving. It's exhausting.

Can you try and find some more compassion with yourself? You're feeling a lot of pain right now. Maybe you're allowing yourself to feel this pain for the first time ever. So yes, this can be unsettling. And confusing. But crying is a pretty "normal" reaction when you're feeling pain. And maybe you're grieving as well, for the things you never had growing up.

I don't want to sound cold or unempathetic. But feeling the pain is actually a "good" sign - because you're allowing yourself to feel this. Up to now you held it mostly in, I guess. Maybe you *knew* you were sad, but you didn't really *feel* the sadness and the grief. Allowing yourself to actually experience those emotions is a step in the right direction, I feel. At least it was for me.

And please, don't feel silly for crying. It makes you human. And that's a good thing.

All the best, c_r
Thanks for this!
feileacan, LonesomeTonight, SarahSweden
  #10  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 11:22 AM
Tryingtoheal77 Tryingtoheal77 is offline
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Quote:
The reason I think I should be able to fix things is because the things I see a therapist for are problems that most adults solve on their own

I can relate to this, and I would wager that many people, both in and out of therapy, feel like they can't handle things as well as everyone around them. I try to remind myself that most people around me are probably not handling everything in their lives as well as I think they do. We all tend to want to present our best selves to others, and hide our insecurities.
Thanks for this!
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  #11  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 01:23 PM
feileacan feileacan is offline
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Sarah, it seems that you are really making progress. It feels painful but I fully agree with cinnamon - it definitely sounds like a step in a right direction.
Thanks for this!
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  #12  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:21 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. I can relate to what you write about like "compensating" for not crying that much during childhood nor adulthood. I have never cried at any therapist or counsellor before except for when I got frustrated with the person herself and in situations when I know I would leave and didnīt come back anymore.


I agree crying to some extent can feel relieving and my T says she sees is as being authentic and honest. I though sometimes feel like too much crying isnīt constructive either, I now refer to myself, that I sit there crying instead of us discussing things.


Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker33 View Post
I cry during about 75% of my sessions and it's also sometimes weird for me because in my real life I almost don't cry at all. I've always been tough or frozen, suppressing my emotions. Since I've began therapy, I cry and cry, as if trying to compensate all times that I should have cried in the past but didn't.
What I find though is that the me I cry the more positive emotions I feel and the more energy I have. I've learned to "enjoy" crying in a certain sense.
  #13  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:25 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. Yes, Iīll perhaps bring that up to her but as she always says itīs a good thing that I cry and that she feels touched herself I donīt want to talk about crying in a negative mode. I feel itīs positive that I "dare" crying but it can also be too much when I cry so much I canīt answer her or to hold on to a discussion.

Yes, Iīve been screened for different diagnoses, among them ADHD and I donīt have any of those.


Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I cry quite a bit in therapy, too (and some outside of therapy). I think it's actually more of a good thing because it's a safe place to let those emotions out. When I was a kid, I was taught to keep my emotions inside, which I don't think is healthy.

This would be a good topic to discuss with your therapist, how you associate crying with being child-like. And how you feel you can't do things that "normal" adults are able to do.


Also, out of curiosity, is ADHD something they screened for? It's something that can interfere with doing some things like finding/keeping jobs. And it often presents differently in women than in men. Just a thought!
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LonesomeTonight
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #14  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:27 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. Yes, I actually read somewhere that one can analyze the content in tears and see "which kind" it is. Rather fascinating.


Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleflynn View Post
Crying is healing.Did you know that the components in tears of sadness and pain are different than tears of joy and happiness?
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #15  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:36 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. I find it hard to find compassion on issues that most people have handled themselves and that I cry over things that I could have handled better. Itīs another thing to cry over someone who died for example, then itīs beyond my control and itīs something final, itīll never change.


I also think I find it a bit embarrassing and "too much" as in relation to my T, she partly has what I lack; a job and a partner and itīs only 10+ years between us.

Youīre right I also grieve, I grieve things that were better when I were a child and I grieve that I donīt have better relations with my family now as an adult. I agree itīs a good sign and especially in therapy as it shows trust in the T and that something "happens" in therapy. Even if crying isnīt nessecary for all clients of course.

I know itīs inevitable to cry and to feel things in therapy but lately I feel noone else had sat there with me and see me cry, noone besides a therapist and that makes me feel it's not completely normal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by cinnamon_roll View Post
Been there. It does get better. Eventually.

Still, being in the middle of it really sucks. It's painful. It's unnerving. It's exhausting.

Can you try and find some more compassion with yourself? You're feeling a lot of pain right now. Maybe you're allowing yourself to feel this pain for the first time ever. So yes, this can be unsettling. And confusing. But crying is a pretty "normal" reaction when you're feeling pain. And maybe you're grieving as well, for the things you never had growing up.

I don't want to sound cold or unempathetic. But feeling the pain is actually a "good" sign - because you're allowing yourself to feel this. Up to now you held it mostly in, I guess. Maybe you *knew* you were sad, but you didn't really *feel* the sadness and the grief. Allowing yourself to actually experience those emotions is a step in the right direction, I feel. At least it was for me.

And please, don't feel silly for crying. It makes you human. And that's a good thing.

All the best, c_r
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
  #16  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:39 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. Yes, I think thatīs a good thing to do, I mean imagining how someone else cope in their everyday life, how they struggle with things like planning dinner, arguing with their partner or similar.

I try to think that way when it comes to my therapist even if the picture I get of her is that she has reached important goals in life, she likes her work, sheīs married and such. But thereīs a lot I donīt know about her.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtoheal77 View Post
I can relate to this, and I would wager that many people, both in and out of therapy, feel like they can't handle things as well as everyone around them. I try to remind myself that most people around me are probably not handling everything in their lives as well as I think they do. We all tend to want to present our best selves to others, and hide our insecurities.
  #17  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:41 PM
Moment Moment is offline
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Crying is also a form of communication. You say you're crying and so you can't answer or continue a discussion, but crying is a form of expression and your tears probably say more than your words would. It is meaningful that you are crying in the presence of another person. Something my therapist asks that is useful sometimes is, "What are your tears saying? If you could put words to those tears, what would they say?"

I see no reason to be concerned about crying a lot in therapy. Crying in therapy is totally normal. Even crying *a LOT.* It's an intimate act and a good thing.
Thanks for this!
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  #18  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:41 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. So the crying could be seen as making progress? Do you mean in opening up to my T or progress in other areas? My therapist tells me itīs a good thing to cry but when it comes to her I know she should be supportive and understanding even if she perhaps thinks a client cries too much, complains too much or similar.


Quote:
Originally Posted by feileacan View Post
Sarah, it seems that you are really making progress. It feels painful but I fully agree with cinnamon - it definitely sounds like a step in a right direction.
  #19  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 04:50 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. Thatīs an interesting view on this. Sometimes I canīt specify exactly why Iīm crying, sometimes I cry just because my T is nice to me and cares about me. (But I donīt tell her that, I always have other reasons to cry besides crying because of her).

I think my T has asked me something similar and she says things like "it's the little child in you that now cries" when I cry over something that concerns my childhood for example.

Hopefully my T feels compassion and a deeper connection to me (as a therapist) and not that she thinks I cry too much. She doesnīt seem to but one never knows.

Itīs a nice thing to read what you say that itīs meaningful to cry in the presence of another person. Iīve never done that before, to anyone except when I was a child.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Moment View Post
Crying is also a form of communication. You say you're crying and so you can't answer or continue a discussion, but crying is a form of expression and your tears probably say more than your words would. It is meaningful that you are crying in the presence of another person. Something my therapist asks that is useful sometimes is, "What are your tears saying? If you could put words to those tears, what would they say?"

I see no reason to be concerned about crying a lot in therapy. Crying in therapy is totally normal. Even crying *a LOT.* It's an intimate act and a good thing.
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  #20  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 09:31 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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SS: I rarely cry, and have never cried in therapy, BUT I do understand what you mean. In some ways I am similar.

I am 37 and while I had a few boyfriends in my young teenage years, I haven't dated anyone since I was 22. I am still a virgin. Except one high school boyfriend, I was never serious about anyone, and that HS boyfriend was a very young "love," or what I thought of it at the time.

So, while I may have more "experience" in that area than you, I get it. I also did not experience any abuse or any overt trauma growing up as well. I also am depressed, but "nothing" else. While I am lucky I have a job and like it (and it is one thing that I DO feel lucky for), I also feel liek my T can't really help me in being an adult like the rest of the "normal" population.

I talk about it frequently. She argues back that it is the depression talking. It is hard, and I do agree with others that it is healthy you can cry about this stuff. I can't.
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  #21  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 10:59 PM
stahrgeyzer stahrgeyzer is offline
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Crying is healing. Especially deep crying. About 8 years ago when I was 45 (45ish) I went through a long period where I cried a lot every day. It had to come out. It's that feeling you get in your throat, like pressure in your throat or something's stuck in it, and there's nothing that makes it go away until you burst into tears. Looking back now it just amazes me how it healed me. Even on a physical level. From my teens up until after the crying phase I always had problems with acne. If I didn't apply acne medicine all over my entire face every night I would break out bad. After having to put medicine on my face for decades I just couldn't imagine life any other way. After the crying phase I never had to do anything my face. No more acne. It's like deep crying removes stuck trauma and emotions that are inside of you.
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  #22  
Old Jun 18, 2018, 06:40 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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I have an emotional disorder and cry oceans outside of therapy. I stopped trying to get therapy because the experience with the therapists were not good for me, boo hoo too.

Now I have to tell people about the disorder because I won’t be able to control my crying in certain circumstances with my family (for example, my son’s wedding which I am not happy about). I’ll have to hide in the back like a ghost while crying my eyes out or don’t go.

So, I’ll just tell people I have a disorder and cry like an idiot. What else can I do?
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  #23  
Old Jun 18, 2018, 07:29 AM
yellow_fleurs yellow_fleurs is offline
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Just chiming in that I would also say if you are depressed, you are probably feeling extra sad and like crying more than you would if not depressed, and if you suppress it often then it doesn't surprise me that you would cry a lot in T. When I think of the same things from my life that make me sad, I can feel moderately sad or hysterical/sobbing depending on my mood state, for example. It still upsets me either way, but my view of the situation, myself, etc is much darker when I am depressed. I do think crying is healthy, too, but you could always discuss with your T if you feel it is getting in the way of making progress because you spend too much time doing it in your opinion. I am not sure what could be done, but either way there is no reason to feel bad about crying!
Thanks for this!
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  #24  
Old Jun 18, 2018, 09:24 AM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. For how long have you seen your T? Itīs just recently I began to cry, for several months I never cried and I felt we sometimes discussed more about the therapeutic process than emotional things. Would you like to cry in therapy or do you feel embarrassed about it?

I donīt think having no experiences from intimate relations or sex has only to do with depression, when in midst of depression you donīt feel like looking for a partner but if one doesnīt have a chronic depression there are more to it than that. What does your T say to you about intimacy, does she give you advice or do you work more on an emotional level?

I think itīs very embarrassing to talk about sex and lack of such experiences as my T is married and sheīs more than ten years older than me and of course she has rather a lot experiences from it herself. At the same time you doesnīt talk to a T and ask her about her (his) own experiences.

I think it can be healthy to cry and it also seems that several people cry from a lot of reasons in therapy.


Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
SS: I rarely cry, and have never cried in therapy, BUT I do understand what you mean. In some ways I am similar.

I am 37 and while I had a few boyfriends in my young teenage years, I haven't dated anyone since I was 22. I am still a virgin. Except one high school boyfriend, I was never serious about anyone, and that HS boyfriend was a very young "love," or what I thought of it at the time.

So, while I may have more "experience" in that area than you, I get it. I also did not experience any abuse or any overt trauma growing up as well. I also am depressed, but "nothing" else. While I am lucky I have a job and like it (and it is one thing that I DO feel lucky for), I also feel liek my T can't really help me in being an adult like the rest of the "normal" population.

I talk about it frequently. She argues back that it is the depression talking. It is hard, and I do agree with others that it is healthy you can cry about this stuff. I can't.
  #25  
Old Jun 18, 2018, 09:31 AM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Thanks. Yes, I agree it's healing and at the same time I want to feel my T and I also have time to discuss things and her knowing more about me and my problems. Itīs great having her supporting me, she gives me a cleenex and say nice things but I also want to progress in other ways.


But of course itīs impossible to just decide not to cry, I sometimes feel I want to cry already in the morning the day Iīm going to see her even if there arenīt any new issues that make me sad.

As you mention, having mental issues can sometimes lead to physical ones like on the skin or somewhere else in the body.


Quote:
Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer View Post
Crying is healing. Especially deep crying. About 8 years ago when I was 45 (45ish) I went through a long period where I cried a lot every day. It had to come out. It's that feeling you get in your throat, like pressure in your throat or something's stuck in it, and there's nothing that makes it go away until you burst into tears. Looking back now it just amazes me how it healed me. Even on a physical level. From my teens up until after the crying phase I always had problems with acne. If I didn't apply acne medicine all over my entire face every night I would break out bad. After having to put medicine on my face for decades I just couldn't imagine life any other way. After the crying phase I never had to do anything my face. No more acne. It's like deep crying removes stuck trauma and emotions that are inside of you.
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