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#76
Jun 28, 2018, 04:13 PM
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 The committee's meeting again...I can barely find the words to explain what's going on in my head.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
 Echos Myron redux, Lemoncake, SalingerEsme
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#77
Jun 28, 2018, 04:13 PM
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Dear T
You are very reliable and you always tell me to contact you if I need to. You are always there to offer extra support whether it’s by extending the session, sending you text messages, emailing you, or calling you. I’ve only ever e-mailed you and only when it’s been really unbearable, which happens about once every two months. But as we dig deeper and deeper, I hope I don’t get too dependent on you. Because I don’t want to add another issue I need to work on. |
| LonesomeTonight
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#80
Jun 28, 2018, 06:09 PM
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Dear T,
Of course now I'm slightly worried that you may have misunderstood something about what I shared because of what I prefaced it with, about ex-MC. But I don't need to e-mail you about it. Even if you are wondering about that, I can clarify it Monday. I need to take you at your word that you would talk about anything that was bothering you or making you uncomfortable. And even if you do that Monday, you're not going to kick me out. (The only client you've ever kicked out physically threatened you, and there's no way I would do that!) I'm going to keep repeating that to myself as needed. (Let's see how long that holds!) LT |
| fille_folle, Lemoncake, SalingerEsme
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#81
Jun 28, 2018, 06:11 PM
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So, we hugged
and I didn't spontaneously combust so that is good. |
| ElectricManatee, elisewin, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
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 Anonymous45127
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#82
Jun 28, 2018, 06:13 PM
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There are so many feelings to process from yesterday. It feels like things have shifted, for the better. I want to ask you for a hug.
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| Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
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#83
Jun 28, 2018, 07:32 PM
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Dear T
So today I called you for 10 mins which is the first time in 24 hours I haven't panicked. I feel better, and understand a bit more what you mean. You told me that what you meant is that one person alone cannot support you all the time, that you need multiple people, that it is ok if my o/h isn;t my person all the time. You told me that you weren't rejecting me or forcing me to talk to others. You also told me that you will be on my team, that you can't be my 2am person but you will be there when you can. |
| Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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| junkDNA, SalingerEsme
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#84
Jun 28, 2018, 11:42 PM
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Oh no, sorry about the email 😔😳
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| Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
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#85
Jun 29, 2018, 02:15 AM
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Hi T,
I figured that you're on vacation somewhere... Are you home yet? Where were/are you? I should have asked. Would you have responded? Probably, even it was just because I cought you off guard. TW SH
Possible trigger:
I guess the issue is that I won't trust you for at least 2 weeks when you're back, and then there'll be no point in bringing it up because you're gonna leave again 2 weeks later, and after that you'll be away for 2 more weeks... + Again 2 (if not more) weeks until I start trusting you again... That makes at least 2 months...
Possible trigger:
Anyway... You better be good when I see you again on Tuesday... I want to bail on you though, soo... |
| LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, SummerTime12
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| Anonymous45127
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#86
Jun 29, 2018, 03:07 AM
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So, my window of tolerance is tiny. Last week marked the first time I've basically shut down in response to a major trigger. (If you recall, I was able to run last time.)
Would be useful to talk about this, so I don't have to repeat 'I am safe, I am safe, I am safe...' (Not that I had the power of speech in that moment anyway.) Hoping you'll get back to me sooner rather than later.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
| LonesomeTonight, winterblues17
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| Anonymous45127
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#87
Jun 29, 2018, 03:46 AM
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I wish you were here for me to tell you.
But it doesn't matter. How can someone do something so awful to a child? I just don't get it. Why would they do that? Why???????? |
| Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight
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| Anonymous45127
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#92
Jun 29, 2018, 07:16 AM
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I've been busy. You'd be proud.
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| Anastasia~
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| LonesomeTonight
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#93
Jun 29, 2018, 07:57 AM
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Quote:
Stay safe... |
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#94
Jun 29, 2018, 08:05 AM
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Dear T,
Didn't e-mail you last night! (Were you surprised?) Still feeling OK about things (even that one little concern isn't eating at me too much). LT |
| Anastasia~, SalingerEsme
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#95
Jun 29, 2018, 09:05 AM
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Dear T
Should I replace you? You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, you’re a perfect match for me. I like our relationship. I’m attached to you in a way where it helps during sessions, but not too much that it becomes painful in every day life. So everything is great. So why do I feel like trying out other therapists? Other methods! It’s just an unecessary expense. I don’t get it at all. |
| Anastasia~, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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| SalingerEsme
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#96
Jun 29, 2018, 09:19 AM
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Don't let me fall off the edge. And definitely be careful not to push me.
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| Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight
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| SalingerEsme
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#98
Jun 29, 2018, 10:38 AM
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Dear t,
I've got voices in my head telling me to be mean to my mother.
Possible trigger:
-Butterfly |
| Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, unaluna
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#99
Jun 29, 2018, 11:10 AM
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I know I can trust you, so why do little wobbles like yesterday make me doubt that? Thank you for coming through for me...see you Tuesday. Looking forward to putting all this crap down.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
| Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight
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#100
Jun 29, 2018, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
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| LonesomeTonight
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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