Couch 172: Couch me if you can

One of my neighbors took it upon themselves to come into my yard and "weed". They removed these plants that had lovely blue flowers in the spring. I feel so violated. Thanks neighbors for reminding me what a total ****ing failure at life I am right now.

I was gonna say look under the bed!!!

Someone please make today go away?

I'm really close to a big meltdown, bigger than anyone on this forum could cope with.

Everything's pissing me off today.

Am I dead yet?

Clearly you know how my mind works!

T is being really nice to me. Because of my sister's drama, my dad's dog attacking our dogs, him talking to me about sex, him berating me for something that was an accident, and my H's health problems, I'm feeling very suicidal. I saw her yesterday and she's allowing me to see her next week. I had a bad night last night and I called her. She called me back today and talked me through some things. I feel bad because right now she's my only support and I know she doesn't like that. But I can't live without her. I'm so grateful to have her in my life. I just want my H back too. I really need him right now. I don't think anyone is taking it seriously except my T. She knows I'm serious.

(((Whispershadow))) please stay safe. I wish I knew what to say that would help and I value you and your contributions to the couch.

(((Scarlet)))

I sat in T's chair. He didn't get mad just laughed and said that was his.

There will be times when you need your T more than others, in those moments I don't think the old "rules" apply.

Thank you for asking. I had a sore throat last night, but that was gone this morning. Not feeling well otherwise. You know it's bad when the therapist proactively asks if I need to come in again this week 🙄

Thanks Artie

Am I allowed to cry?

((( whispershadow ))))

Yes, you’re allowed to cry

I got to confess, I did something to myself

I don't deserve to be shown kindness.

Yes you do. You deserve compassion and kindness.

Why do you think you don’t deserve to be shown kindness?

Do you think that Fuzzybear does not deserve to be shown kindness?

Feel free to ignore my questions

Personally I think that all in this thread “deserve” to be shown kindness :-(

Tending to the garden would be at the bottom of my list when I'm not well same with cleaning. Your doing your best right now NP. I would tell them the next time if you saw an unannounced intruder in my garden i would be calling the police, that's just me, but I can totally understand feeling violated.

You deserve to be shown kindness, Fuzzy

You DO deserve kindness, love and compassion.

A quote from Dr Phil in response to a girl who was SH'ing that made me cry : "You've been hurt enough".

Why am I so ****ed up and .... apparently.... not “deserving” of good treatment.

Hmmm (headscratch)

I think the above - the words I posted above in this message..... is a lie :-(

Everyone here is deserving of kindness, love, and compassion. (Though I will admit it's easier for me to think that of other people compared to myself.)

Great post, I agree <3

I want some chocolate...

brings Fuzzy some chocolate

I am going to be so embarrassed seeing t Thursday. How do I face her? That I actually thought I'd come far enough to not need therapy anymore and quit, then went back a month later. Again. Now it feels like I'm frickin' starting over. Again. I hate that it's all still so damn circular. I know it's only for 3 months but still...

Stupid brain.

I'm wearing dark glasses and a big floppy hat. Maybe a fake mustache too. Heh.