Couch 173: The Odiferous One

What rr said.

I don't know how you can hold back from going in with a large sign saying "Are you a MORON?" and then quitting right there.

I have to soul search about that. What mainly happened is I felt completely guilty for accidental stumbling on it , and now I am worried it's somehow going to make him if not angry then just regretful it happened if he finds out, and say that's it- the boundary is violated, the curtain is pulled back, we're done.

I was going to go with being dishonest = being manipulative. Of course, there's levels and degrees of dishonesty and so on.

Basically, because if one is straight-up lying to someone (even as a lie of omission), it is manipulation, in that, the other person will act in ways based on that information that they wouldn't otherwise.

But, then I think it's actually possible to be honest about one's emotions but at the same time say stuff that you know is going to make folks act in a way that they wouldn't otherwise (if they weren't made known of those feelings)? In that case though, I'm not sure how much of it is a boundary / vulnerability thing vs. manipulation.

In the latter case, I have tons of examples with Blondie -- E.g. my being disturbed (and saying it) by the door bell rung by the next client (which made her change her schedule to have me be last); my telling her that I'd had a rough time during one of her vacations (got contacted by family and so on) after which she made it a point to text me check-ins (to which I put a stop because I felt I'd coerced her into it although she said she's totally fine doing it etc); the list goes on.

Congratulations!

You know, part of what's good about all of this--your therapist's judgement aside--is being aware of your instant guilt over something you didn't cause or seek. My therapist has pointed this out with me, something I did with two recent auto accidents near me (one fatality) that I was not involved with, but because I was there, felt that I had caused them both. If nothing else, it's worth exploring that knee jerk assumption of guilt with your therapist. Maybe that's a way into the conversation?

Apparently I screwed up in buying a frozen pizza with a sourdough crust today. I seriously didn't know or remember that H doesn't like sourdough, and usually I'm good at remembering those things...So we're each doing our own dinners tonight (because I want the pizza! Figure I can have leftovers for lunch tomorrow...) Of course I'm sort of mentally beating myself up over this.

Boy he has a refined palate! Seriously is there a frozen pizza out there where you can REALLY tell its a sourdough crust? I might have to start buying them! #homemadedoughsnob #momspizzaonly

Lol. It's on the very mild side of sourdough and is pretty tasty! I think perhaps he's scarred from a trip to San Francisco for work years ago, where it seems everything is very much sourdough. He made himself some (frozen) ravioli, so I think he'll live!

This man from the home owners association on my home I'm selling, was here looking at something that needs to be fixed and he farted, loudly in my home and left. OMG terrible. I was about to gag

That's disgusting. Some people. At least he didn't **** himself. I assume.

Sounds delish, I love sourdough

Checking if shart will be starred out.

Eta - i know - you think youve had enough of me and then i go and do something adorable like this

Stop pushing the boundaries!

Then again, maybe not!

Just got off the phone with my insurance company. Remember the accident I was in earlier this month while on my trip, the guy that rear ended me in the rental car? Well apparently that employee at the rental car company who had me fill out the accident report with all the other guy's insurance information didn't do anything with it. Or, at least not what he was supposed to do. Because Thrifty's claims dept called my insurance company about payment! My agent remembered talking to me the day it happened, and told them she'd get in touch with me. I told her that I had not heard boo from anybody about the accident since - that the only contact I received back was from Thrifty verifying that they indeed got their vehicle back, and that was the only callback I received. So anyway I gave her all the info that I had already given Thrifty back on 7/7 and she said that she'll get Thrifty's claims dept in touch with the other guy's insurance company so they can work it out and told me not to worry. She said this is very typical of rental car accidents. I'm doing my best not to worry. Worry has been my constant companion for 56 years, it's hard to break that, y'know? But I want to. I want to not worry 24/7 so bad. So bad.

I am having to deal with an incredibly poisonous person irl. I tried the “how miserable she must be to act this way” route, but now I’m just losing patience.

They are there to be pushed.

@@, I work with some people like that. I basically interact with them in small doses and remind myself I get to leave that mindset behind when I go home, while they carry it around 24/7. It doesn't make it any easier for me because I'm still forced to be cordial at work, and they get to be flaming a-holes. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

I'm thinking about going to see Madame T. (Just once)
After all, she's my only living enemy and one attempt at reconciliation every five years doesn't seem excessive.

Sorry you have to deal with that, that really sucks.

Wilson to House: I'm your friend and I don't like you.

I used to use that route on the phone with angry members all the time at work - when they were really angry but not to the point of cursing at me it usually worked, but once they started in on the f-word and calling me names and stuff then it no longer worked.

This what i imagine an ageing superhero would say.

In other news, I threw my hat in the ring today for a Quality Analyst position at work. We'll see what happens! This would be a promotion/raise if I get it.

I wasnt pushing anything, i was LEARNING.