Dear T: I Really Need to Tell You Something...Part XXXIV

The quality of mercy is not strained....

hey I hope our session goes okay....

Why isn't it Thursday yet? (as I do my best impression of stomping inner teenager)

I hope you don't faint when I tell you this. I HAD a NORMAL DAY!!!


I know I had normal days before, but it was in between the painful episodes. Now I am free of it. What a relief!!

I did fine at work today, granted, though, I didn't really see many people.

I decided to honor our administration with a certain thing that we are doing for them. So it became a school-wide thing to do for Friday. It felt good not being in pain and so I decided to do something for someone else.

I'm sorry for driving you crazy, if I did.

I'm so anxious. I hate this cycle of emotions every week.

I love you.

Dear T I am so not looking forward to our session tommorow. I have a feeling you are going to be mean to me.

Man T, today's session was intense. I guess if I put it out there more bluntly, I think I thought you'd disagree. I was wrong. It isn't bad necessarily...but to use the word trauma and my childhood is hard for me to swallow.

Also: Sorry i almost ran out the door when you came to give me a hug. I still find it weird, even though I was the one who said yes in the first place.

Thank you. For all of it. It still feels bottomless, but I'm okay. We'll be okay.

It's been almost 4 hours since our session ended and I already miss you. Wish I could buy all your sessions for the day and talk about nothing serious.

I hate you and never want to see you again, etc etc etc

Silenced . . . .

I'm trying. Don't you think I'm trying?? I'm not going to cry or scream or show emotion. And this smile? It's a polite, nervous smile. The one I use daily in all my interactions. If you think my struggle is only with you, then you're not very perceptive and I should find someone else.

I still don't think you believe me. I know I am withholding crucial information to believing me. Thank you for trying today and listening.

Welcome, Sienna!

Dear previous T,
That text you sent me means so much more than you know. Thank you for supporting me and encouraging me always! I miss you lots. You’re a wonderful human.

I wish you could really see me today instead of tomorrow. I feel more stable on three sessions a week, but I can't justify the cost unless I'm totally loosing it like now.

1 day, 2 hours, 15 minutes.
94,544 seconds
1575 minutes

1 day, 0 hours, 55 minutes and 37 seconds.

Terminate me. I'm toxic. Save yourself.

Dear T,
I’m not entirely sure what to talk about on the call today. Was expecting more stress and drama at this point in the family vacation. Guess I could talk about my successes this week, since I think much of it has come out of my work with you in the past almost-year. Or there’s one or two less positive things from past couple days I could talk about. Or my sadness Sunday night with H and D on vacation already. But maybe a more positive call would be nice. I’ll see how I feel when I’m on the phone with you.
Love,
LT

20 hours, 25 mins

Yep I'm just going to continue to do this until I see you. Creepy guy knocked on my door and made me feel worse without meaning to by asking my score.Is it funny if I said I scored lower then last time? I'm just stuck questioning if I can really do this or am I just dreaming?

Happy I'm seeing you tomorrow! It's funny how we hadn't even been doing weekly again all THAT long, but 2 weeks feels more like 2 months since I've been there.

Soon....

I guess I should quit
But I've already bought a birthday present for you