Is T saying sorry important?

I had a time of feeling so unsupported in therapy session. Things got said by my T that hurt me. I wrote her a letter but i realize that she never apologizes. Sometimes that hurts. Should i expect an apologize or is it bad for a T to apologizee for some reason. It would just feel nice.. like she really understood. I feel so very hurt today. The worst part is that when my T hurts me... I feel I have no one else to talk to. :-(

i can totally relate to that. T said some pretty hurtful things to me too but all we talked about was why i felt hurt by it, and she never apologized. the closest thing to an apology was when she said i have a right to feel that way.... i don't know why they don't apologize, i mean they are human too so they do wrong things....maybe most of the hurtful things are about our own insecurities though, i'm not sure.

thats sorta what i get too. It makes me sad for some reason. Like I'm wrong.

My T apologizes for stuff she shouldn't! She's very aware of herself, me, and my feelings. If she at all feels like she may have done something she asks about it and apologizes either way. I do think it's important that when they do something that hurts, that they recognize it, and if they did wrong apologize, like any other human being.

Mine is quick to say "I made a mistake, I'm sorry. You're right."

This is of course after I point out the error of her ways.

I relate ((((((((((( esthersvirtue ))))))))))))

My T is very quick to apologize. Sometimes too much, lol.... Once I told him, "Okay enough, it wasn't that bad!!!"

I don't think T's apologize for hurting unless what they said or did was an accident or a mistake. Sometimes what others want us to know can hurt but usually T's tell us something because it is "important" for us to know it. I'd rather work with understanding what they said, as hurtful as it feels, than needing that information later and not having it. I think of it as being a little like debriding wounds; sometimes you have to make things hurt so they heal better.

Do yo uthink it should bother me if she doesnt or is it pushing to much.

If an apology was warranted EV, it would bother me.

While falling over yourself apologising isn't very good neither is not apologising when an apology is warranted. It would be a problem for me, yeah.

Hi EV, I think since you sent your concerns to your T in an email, you might not receive a written apology back right away. I bet your T would want to talk about this in person so she can better understand what went wrong. If she sees she did wrong, I would hope that she would be able to apologize. It is so hard when our T doesn't understand us.

I can't think of a time my T apologized to me. The closest was when I got angry at him for a past session that didn't go well. And we talked about that and he explained from his point of view what had happened and I explained from my point of view what had happened, and together we made sense of it all. But neither of us said "I'm sorry." We just came to appreciate better what had happened. There was one time I did apologize to my T for something, and he took it very seriously. He did say at one point that I didn't have to apologize because that sort of thing happened in therapy, but he also said he wanted to honor my apology and he let me make my apology and said thank you and that he accepted it with his heart. The fact that he was so honoring, makes me think he would apologize to me if the situation called for it.

I dunno - sometimes i get weirded out by it. I felt she appologised for things and then i'd have to say "it's ok." maybe it was ok , maybe it wasn't. but i didn't like to say "it's ok" because i feel like i've been saying it all my life for things that aren't ok and that this is just more conditioning for me to continue. i never told her that.
tho on my last session with her, she said some hurtful things. i finally wrote her an email saying i was recovering from my ***** kicking. She wrote back that she was sorry I felt it was an ***** kicking, but she was glad I told her.
I never told my former T when she hurt me. I know a child alter got pretty mad at her one day, but that was it. I don't thing she ever said sorry for it.
kiya

My T has apologized to me a few times, but I'm never sure she really means it when she does. She probably does, but it's never for something I want her to apologize for. I think it's nice and it feels good to get an apology if they make a mistake, and we all need to be willing to apologize when needed (even "I'm sorry that you are hurt" or something like that if we aren't owning the problem). But to expect an apology from anyone is setting yourself up for potential hurt and disappointment if you don't get it. Not everybody apologizes.

It would bother me!

(((((((((((( esthersvirtue )))))))))))))

EV, If an apology is appropriate, then yes she should apologise.