Couch 179: Even-numbered days in a year

Holy cow my boss just tried to give me a heart attack. I'm on the pilot project at work today and I was afraid I messed up and asked in our project chat if I messed up and he said "yes" and then our lead told me I didn't, he didn't even say he was totally joking for minutes after that!! I am going to fly to CA and bop him upside the head! Not funny!

Eta: I got him back though. I said in our chat "@hisname apropos of nothing, I know people who know people in (his city)." He said what did you hear?? I may be concerned. I sent a laughing with tears emoji.

Mess with ME...

I just had a massage. Now I'm groggy and slow.

They need a nap room for after.

I agree. The first time I got one I cried during it and had to nap after.

Thanks. He currently lives in the UAE and I've become accustomed to the distance. I was starting to consider us estranged. But according to the person who told me, he's looking for a house in or around the small town where I live

EM- will you have much contact with him, or will you be able to avoid him?

Ick.

I usually fall asleep during massages. Nobody ever minded.

If he moves into my town I'm bound to bump into him. His daughter will prob end up in the same school as my kids. I'm hoping he'll move to some other nearby town in which case the chances of bumping into him are smaller. The whole idea is unsettling.

Someone just walked in to pick up their car, older guy, who has a big Oath Keepers tattoo on the back of his calf. Ugh.

Hey couchies, I made it to Friday! Exhausted from work today and have a headache so I'm taking 30 minutes to rest before I get on with chores, dinner, and family game night. I hope you all have a good weekend!

Hope you feel better! I've had a headache all day too, blech.

If men want ALL the rights, then they have to wear long pants!

So I had three students miss the midterm Wednesday. I told them they had to be in my office at 10:30 this morning to have a makeup. One came (the one who had the wrong time or the wrong room Wednesday). One wrote and said she wasn’t coming. The third wrote me at 10:30 saying he was having trouble finding my office (not uncommon in my building). I write with directions from the main entrance. Half an hour later he responds saying “I think I’m close.” By that time the other student has left, I’ve shut the door and am working on something else. I write him and say it’s too late.

He shows up and starts knocking. I ignored him, muted my hearing aids and kept on working.

I feel a little bad about it, but he knew when and where he was supposed to be and still couldn’t manage it.

Esp since he wrote you FROM HIS BED the first time! plus i hope you gave missy plenty of baleful looks while she was writing her exam :evileye: that is such a good word! Diskens, Eyre, or Austen?

Therapy in half an hour... Already feeling anxious. I hate how things that felt really really real at the time feel silly and unimportant and embarrassing by the time it's time to talk about them in therapy.

When he wrote again after he’d given up knocking, he begged me, because “I went through a lot to get here.”

I imagine he had to slay a dragon or two en route.

Damn those college campus dragons.

ATAT, I'm glad you held the line while also not being totally rigid.

For one of the classes I TA'ed in grad school -- one of three TAs for a class of 54 students in which every single class was a student presentation of some sort or a guest lecture or group-work -- the prof insisted that students had severe (likely undiagnosed) mental health issues and so, we TAs needed to be available for more than the usual TA office hours to do well, more than TA-ing and lend an ear.

However, when a student actually wrote to say that she'd been diagnosed with major depression and so did her advisor, while the prof agreed to accommodate her by letting her take a little extra time for it, she was a solid hard arse about it. That kid was really struggling, it was obvious -- in a class where group-work and collaboration and participation was heavily prized, she'd kinda just hang out vacantly, if she even managed to show up.

When it came to grading time, I really wanted to cut the kid some slack and bump her up from where she'd be (a B-ish place) but prof totally refused and had no sympathy (too bad she's got depression; gotta suck it up kinda thing).

On the other hand, another dude -- totally obnoxious and would pick on anyone who was slightly different -- came in and just told the prof that he needed a minimum of an A- (no reasons given) and boom, he got it (although in reality, he was far from it). Prof decided that he probably had some major scholarship riding on it etc.

The only lesson I learnt -- less information worked better with her.

My last evening home alone until h gets home (around midnight tonite). I am SO tempted to go out and get into some shenanigans. Oh y'all don't even know just how tempted.

(I'm not going to, of course.)

I am going to be utterly boring and start my homework.

Is “I don’t know what love means like you do” a standard emotional abuser line?

Was reading a blog post by the recently ex-wife of an MLB player who said that was a line he used on her. Sounds very familiar.

Also the feeling that she had to change, not him.

I went to a very feminist college. You’d think I would have known better.

Homework is coming right along. 6 problems done, 7 to go. Most have 2 or 3 parts lol. Figuring variance and standard deviation. Not so sure I understand quite what the application of said things are, but I'm learning how to figure them anyway. I need to read the chapter hopefully it explains what they are used for....

H and I are going back to that same casino up north next weekend - yes Artie will be hitting the club again while h plays in his tournament - for sure for sure.

I feel like talking again lol. A dorky diatribe. Hee hee. Anyway one of the things I told t last evening is that I realize now that whatever I decide to do going forward - it is by my choice. If I stay in my marriage and work on it, or not - it will be a conscious choice. This feels very empowering. Right now, in this moment, speaking my truth re: my sexuality is about knowing myself. And right now, in this moment, knowing myself is enough. It is a joyous homecoming. It is a weight lifted from my shoulders. It is no longer expending any energy hiding from myself. I give myself permission to take as much time as I need to discover what I want going forward. At some point I will have to tell h but I will not rush into it. It's all kinda brand-new and precious right now. I don't really know what is going to happen. And for once in my life, I am ok with that. Because I feel whole at last and I will be fine whatever happens. No. I will be awesome. Dorkishness over. For now.

I'm chatting on facebook right now with some old friends we all went to sunday school together gradeschool on up and have only recently gotten back in touch on there. one of the others started a group chat thing and 4 of us are chatting right now! it's so cool being in touch with them again! we're planning a get-together next time I'm back there. One of them is woo woo like me she's talking about cleansing her space with sage and i'm all oooooh girrrrrrrrrrrrrl.... lolol