Couch 179: Even-numbered days in a year

I’m having a hard night.

I'm sorry, @@. Can we help? or at least listen and send hugs....

Yes. And yes.

And, as my t tells me from time to time: It’s not fair to judge your past self by what you know now. (Naturally, I’ve totally taken this to heart.)

Sorry you’re having a rough night. Need a virtual...or real...glass of wine? Cup of tea? Chocolate? All of the above?

Your campus has dragons? Lucky duck.

We only have swamps and barbed wire and yawning chasms in the office mazes.

(((@@)))

Got whisky, thanks everyone. And Gillian Anderson. And new cat has grudgingly offered snuggles.

I am considering a moat around my office. Maybe a three-headed hound guarding the door.

At least get your hound from a rescue or reputable breeder. Not from some random three-headed puppy mill.

It's 1:30 here and I just finished editting a paper for H for his class. I'm exhausted beyond belief but can't sleep. Got $75 worth of free gift cards for Amazon for my birthday in 2 weeks, but have no idea what I want to buy. H keeps telling me to buy things for myself, but I keep thinking about the kids.

yes you go girl! I love seeing how far you've come.

Do ittttt!

You were more than fair with those students.

Is there anything that you could get that you could enjoy together with the kids? Idk how old they are, but like a board game to play with them or like something for an outdoor activity you could enjoy together?

Spent most of the day laying on my bed being empty. My T hasnt left town yet.

Thank you so much!! I really have. This seeing t weekly with the in-my-head ending in late october is making me work my butt off in there! In my head cuz ending is not set in stone even though initially when I went back we agreed to 3 months. But we did briefly mention it thursday, that a dream I had about her Wed nite may just have been a termination dream.

Lemoncake, I just want to say how awesome you are. You celebrate other's successes all over the place here and I just wanted to celebrate that about YOU!!

I'm awake early on a Saturday cuz we have to take h's car into the dealer for a couple recalls, gotta have it there when they open in 45 minutes then we're going out to breakfast on the way home. He got in last night around midnight as expected.

I read this first as "yearning chasms in the office mazes" (just woke up and yet to ingest sufficient quantities of coffee) -- which wouldn't be quite grammatically correct yes but fits......just poetically, poignantly right.

My big misread yesterday was seeing a sign that I thought said Huge Kids for Sale. Then I saw that there was no "for" in the sign. I think it must have been for clothing or toys. Not sure. But I do think sign makers should be more precise.

It only took me 10 odd minutes to figure out that “Huge” was with respect to “Sale” and not “Kids” — I’d already gone down a merry lane of thinking about my childhood clothing size issues.

You may have... just driven past... a yard sale in... The Twilight Zone...

I am glad I put my tea down before reading this page of the Couch. Today has been rather bizarre, a day of rest with my mind going at one hundred miles an hour...not so much fun.

My partner and I each ate way too much hash. Both threw up and had to call a doctor. We‘re starting to eat again now.

Make sure you take it slowly on an upset at stomach. Maybe some chicken noodle soup?
(Sorry. I really do hope you feel better soon)

Waiting to hear back from my sister to see if she has time to chat this weekend. She's always got something going on and it's so hard to get ahold of her.

Fml and **** hurricanes. So, classes have so far been cancelled for 3 weeks at my uni. We are "tentatively" going back October 1. Somehow, though, commencement is going forward as planned. That means we somehow have to "make up" all the time that was missed, without the semester actually being extended at all. They cancelled fall break and reading day, but that's only 4 days. I am so anxious. I've been doing my best to keep up with my schoolwork, but I don't have assignments for two of my classes available. One of those is English, which I hate because I have a perpetual case of writer's block that I can't seem to break out of. Writing just makes me so anxious at this point that I become paralyzed.

The other thing that's killing me is that I haven't been able to see my T since I evacuated on 9/11. And apparently, she's going away for a vacation right when I'm planning on coming back to town - so I'll have missed seeing her for 3 weeks, too. I'm seeing my longtime T, which is lovely, but I really wish T was going to be there when I return, as the return is really stressing me out. I'm dreading it, actually. My relationship with my mother isn't great, but staying with her in my hometown, I don't feel isolated. In my new town, I feel completely alone and despairing. Although it's of course not as bad as solitary confinement, for me, it has had really devastating effects. I mean, I go for days without talking to anyone, and for weeks or even months without anyone touching me, unless I go have a random hookup. I've regressed so much and have avoided hospitalization by the skin of my teeth (and by withholding...).

Ok, that turned into a rather long rant. Sorry. Just had to get it out.

No, no, no! There should be a stipulation that birthday gift cards must be spent on you!