Couch 179: Even-numbered days in a year

Having said all that - when I first posted here and quickly discovered that it wasn't the safe place I'd hoped for, there was someone who stepped in and defended me against the group of people who were attacking me. She doesn't post here any more and hasn't for a long time, but we have spoken every day since and she is now one of my closest friends (not the only close friend I've met here.) We will finally be meeting in person next Easter! So I guess I don't regret a thing. There are some wonderful people here.

I always feel unwelcome on the couch and try not to read or post. I agree about a cliquey atmosphere and other things.
But in general joining PC was a great decision. I've met some cool people here, I've read a lot of beautiful and honest stories etc

I don't think an anonymous online site would be any more or less "safe" than any other place. I don't know what is meant by "safe" in this context. Some people are going to agree with others, some people are going to disagree, definitions of words are not going to be universally agreed upon and so forth. People will naturally find some other people they like and some they dislike. Some pleasant to interact with and others not - and not everyone will agree with who fits into which category. Over sensitivity occurs in everyone at some point and in some people it is a constant state of being.
Taking care of one's own self is always a good idea.

Yes. I agree to this as well. I take care of myself by taking a step back and evaluate what is in front of me. I don’t leave myself in uncomfortable situations, unless it will benefit me in the long run-like say-a promotion at work or something. But I am not really sure a forum would have that much of an impact unless I form solid relationships here that carry over in my real life-like Luco did above.

I've been and read this forum a lot over the past year or so. I don't post much really, and k think this may be my first post on the couch, but I just wanted to say that I really appreciate reading everyone stories and it helps to put my own into certain perspectives. I've made a couple of good friends from this site in my time hear, would like to chat to others aswell although Its hard as others have said to come into an already formed group, have opinions and strike up chats!

I need to go get the cats some more dry cat food before I completely run out. They have plenty of canned food, but one of mine prefers the dry although he will eat canned if under duress.
Cats become quite displeased when the minions fail.

Really, a cat who prefers dry food? What rare beast is this?

And that one's triggers are one's own problem and not that of others.
I admit I am not even quite certain what is a trigger versus just something one doesn't like.

I need to go get stuff for my cats as well. The cats told me my needs can wait and as long as they have clean litter and food to eat I can starve all week.

And that people inadvertently get triggered and trigger others all the time. Here and in the real world

Perhaps just assuming the best of everyone and that they mean no harm to us (unless of course they start calling names/being verbally abusive and making threats) is the way to go. And practicing self-care.

I define a trigger as feelings that come up for me from my past experiences as a child. Maybe everyone has their own definition though.

He is an odd little furry guy. He adores the dogs, won't get in people's laps, and prefers one rather cheap brand of dry food. The time I bought him an expensive "better" bag of cat food I think he may have started advertising for a new home. He refused to eat anything for a whole day and spent much of his time telling me how I failed him - I relented within 24 hours and ran out and got him his purina.

One of my cats loves to play with brown packing paper and is staring pointedly at me to indicate she needs more (we’re down to a last piece torn into thirds).

Falling down on the cat minion job I see.

Then off you go to local supply store! Quickly! Hurry or your fired!

Yes... a trigger for someone with PTSD is something that reminds them of their trauma and so can send them right back into the experience. With complex trauma strong emotions can be triggered by relatively innocuous input, because the person is sent back into the emotions they had in the past, often as a child. I am very easily emotionally triggered by what I perceive to be snide and/or b****y behaviour, and cliques, and there's a lot that I perceive that way around here.

Mine loves to sleep in paper bags which can be unfortunate because the dogs love to grab the bags with the cat inside of it and drag it around. My older cat really does like to play with dogs a lot. It is interesting to watch the dogs be more gentle with him than they are with each other. Newer cat tolerates the dogs but is less amused by their attempts to engage with him.

I received my annual performance review last week.

“Needs Significant Improvement.”

I am working on turning an old android tablet into a digital picture frame. I know people do it but mine is not cooperating at the moment. I have to figure out if I need to change the settings or if I need a specific app.

I think of a trigger for me as something that leads me to have a much stronger emotional reaction than I would expect to have in the situation. It could be going back to something from childhood (a phrase my mom would use) or someone using the exact phrase that, say, an ex who really hurt me used. And the person making the comment to me might be fully mystified by my strong reaction.

No raise for you. It appears you are barely able to hold the job.

For me, the couple times I've felt really upset by what's been said on the forum have been when I've created my own thread to ask about something. A couple times, there ended up what felt like personal attacks, either toward me or just sort of infighting in the thread. I'm not talking so much about someone disagreeing with me--that's fine. It was more someone attacking me as a person (without really knowing me). It got so bad in one thread I started that the moderators shut it down (they eventually reopened it). So use caution and be prepared if you start your own thread (not just you, anyone on here!)...

Oh, but I just bought *two different colors* of packing paper! Surely that should at least get me up to “Needs Improvement”?

At least enough to ensure you don't get put on a CAP (corrective action plan).

I would say this is hopeless minion sucking up =but cats tend to expect that as their due.