Couch 179: Even-numbered days in a year

Definitely not.

Today I came home and went for a nice brisk afternoon walk (so if any couchies suddenly felt briskly cheerful and/or slightly autumnal, you're welcome), walked in to see that someone had washed all of the dishes without being asked, and I found fifty cents in my pocket.

I call this afternoon a win.

You have inspired me to go for a walk. Off I go.

I'll get a t-shirt and be right on the poster with you, Art, and feel that I'm in good company.

My (completely unsolicited ) advice: Embrace the kind bubbly enthusiastic curious person you are. Start there. Everything else has to take its place around that.

well i went for a walk, but all i did was think about how messed up i am, and then came home and ate a big bowl of feelings. now i feel sick to my stomach. ugh.

and i just remembered i still have 5 homework problems to finish for statistics class! eek! i better go get on those.

Was it mint chocolate chip feelings? Those are the best-tasting feelings.

Even tastier. Limited-edition peppermint stick...

eta: and it is scary how well you know me.

no wonder i left off where i did on my homework. they want me to sketch the distribution and guesstimate the mean and standard deviation from x's and the corresponding z-scores. in the immortal words of cher horowitz "as if!"

Who knew cats like the smell of pumpkin spice...NOT. So now we will have a rash of cats peeing outside the box since they cannot pinch their little noses without opposable thumbs.

I hate pumpkin spice flavored--or scented--everything. I do, however, like all real pumpkin foods and made a really good pumpkin quick bread over the week-end.

i feel that smashing a real pumpkin right now would benefit my psyche.
oh wait. you were talking about real pumpkin foods.

My cat once chewed through a ziplock bag to get to a piece of leftover pumpkin pie.

well i guess the distribution isn't going to sketch itself. i need to go at least attempt it so i can get full credit on my homework. she doesn't grade it, as long as you attempt it and show your work, you get full credit which is 15 points. that plus the 10 points for showing up each class, I am going to need every point I can get. it's starting to get harder.

my cats are stoopid. one of them eats paper, another one chewed a hole in a little sample thing of neosporin and ate the contents. at least yours ate food. lol

You can do this Artie.

I'll bet it was the butter in the crust.
My cat doesn't really like much people food, but does like to give everything I eat the smell test. She doesn't like wet cat food at all. People food she gets a taste of: butter, cream cheese, sardines and mackerel fillets and tuna, fresh spinach, and lettuce.

Neosporin is scary; but I wonder if, like many cosmetics, it has a fish ingredient?

Not quite as good as smashing a pumpkin, but it's The Smashing Pumpkins.

(venting. just venting. i promise. i am not trying to get someone to rescue me like t said i do.)

i somehow finished my homework. finally. just now. it was "only" 5 problems left, unfortunately each of the 5 problems had multiple parts (like an a, b, c and d). I am in over my head. i drew the distribution, but totally guessed at the mean and standard deviation. i have no clue.

the study group i joined turned out to be one guy posting the answers he got on a free forum he created. i am not in it anymore. i don't want to cheat. i'm going to try to get a different group together. and may take half a day off work and go over to the tutoring center later in the week for help. our 2nd exam will be handed out tomorrow and then due a week from tomorrow. what have i done taking this class????? i thought i was doing ok until this homework....

Last session we talked about me having the desire to call my dad and sing this song that he used to sing to me when he would tuck me into bed at night when I was little. But I also feel a little self conscious about it because my mother would also be listening (he doesn't seem to understand how to hold the phone and talk into it much anymore) and this feels private to me. My therapist suggested that I record something and send it to him. Of course my mom would still hear it but at least it's not live. Tonight I recorded a 2.5 minute message for my dad including me singing the song and I'm no Maria Callas for sure. The recording feels intensely private and intimate to me but I'm really feeling like I want to share this recording with my therapist, singing and all. Does that sound like too weird of a thing to share with him?

I’m not rescuing you, art, I’m just trying to offer some encouragement—which is not rescuing you, to me.

If it’s the grade you’re worried about, how badly can you do if you get full points for homework, right or wrong, so long as you try and show your work and full credit for attending class?

My mother had a pre-med course she had to take and it was calculus or some such. Math is not her thing. Bunch of engineers in the class. (She still talks in awe about how they would get there early for an 8 am class and argue about the formulae.) But she had to take it. Got a C despite her best efforts, just enough to get by. And this is a Phi Beta Kappa initiate. My point is, if you have to take this course, it is OK not to be perfect. It is OK just to get through it as best you can.

not weird at all. i sang twice for my t - once a song I wrote (on a phone session) and once a melissa etheridge song that perfectly speaks to who i was before i started therapy with her (sitting in her office). both times felt very private/intimate.

it's the exams that are graded and are the largest part of our grade. you're right though. i care too much about the grade. i just need to pass. i don't have to be perfect. (omgomgomgyesidoihavetobetheperfectgoodlittlegirlornobdoywilllikeme) oops
i mean
i just need to get through it the best i can.

thank you.

They still haven't served my restraining order and for some reason it's making me anxious. No idea why. I called my county's sheriff's office today to make sure I had done due diligence. They said they had sent the papers to the county the husband is in. How hard is it to serve papers to someone locked in a cell? It's not like they can't find the guy. They know exactly where he is. I wish for this year's ordeal to be over now.

What a lovely thing to do, to record yourself singing for your dad.

I don't think it would be at all weird to share with your therapist. It was his suggestion, and my guess is that he will feel honored you'd be willing to share something so deeply personal with him.

There is only one way to master anything new. Practice. Practice. Practice.
(Or is that three ways?)

I'm a trained mathematician but even now I make a lot of mistakes. However, my experience tells me when something is wrong and I go back and fix it.