Couch 183: Stroopwafel salted caramel.

That's awesome, Artie!

that's great! you remind me of me throughout my entire school experience. every test i took i was convinced i failed, and i NEVER did, nor did i ever come close...and was always shocked and decent scores.

Funeral is tomorrow afternoon for the girlfriend. New details are slowly being released about what happened and I just can't comprehend it all. T offered to see me tomorrow but between the services and my daughter's field trip, it's likely I wouldn't be able to make it anyway to see him. I really wish I could take him up on it though. Really really wish I could. I'm going to be a wreck tomorrow.

I am making a squash-carrot soup with apple and nutmeg and chipotle. And I've got rolls warming too. My kitchen smells AMAZING.

Thinking about my Christmas candles and now the soup makes me realize I've become a lot more aware of how the way things smell can lift my mood. With a house of teen boys, lots of times it just smells like feet. (That's mostly a joke, though sadly not entirely.)

Maybe I'll get an essential oil warmer or some such froo-froo nonsense, or splurge on a set of beeswax candles to burn on any old day I want instead of saving them for Christmas.

During the 70s, my mother used to make candles - I think they were called ice candles - they involved pouring wax over ice cubes in a milk carton.

#44? I think. *Sigh*

It sounds like an awful lot to have to deal with- would it be possible to ask T if they would be willing to do a 10-15 mins phone call?

Day 5 of trying to get rid of flatmate.

I set my alarm for 5am and was at the gym by 6.10am.

.

The building manager woman came up. I told her that I was allowed to cook whatever I wanted in my area, she said she understood and that was it she just left.

And they had toffifee on sale again at another store!



I only have class today in the afternoon at 1.45pm then I'm ding the extra stuff at the hospital with the surgeon I really like.

Why did he go in this time? How is H's job search going? Has the psychiatrist said anything other than just trying medication on him?

Ooooo I googled. The small size is nice and there's also quite a few with colour. Burn time might been 4 hours.

Can I come over for dinner? I've never tried apple in soups.



Go for the froo-froo nonsense and splurge a little bit. I'm a big beliver of aromatherapy.

Session in two hours. I want to hide even more than usual, and I'm not usually conscious of that. Anybody up for pocket riding?

YAY!

I'm very happy for you. I think this is just a testament to all your hard work!

I'm always up for anything and spend more time here than I should.

I hope it goes well. Do you have something specific you want to bring up?

Ooooo that sounds lovely. Thanks for idea! I only became obsessed with candles after skim reading the Little Book of Hygge.

I'm sorry to hear this.

In light of what happened last week (at a guess, I spent a third of the session crying...highly unusual for me...) the Critic is rebuilding the barriers. I don't want that to happen. I will likely show her the picture, and hope that I'll be able to talk about it.

She left with another sticky note in the bathroom, which I photographed for "evidence".

I think if you reframe it a bit, the fact that you did cry shows you felt safe enough to do that in front of her and that's never easy. I think recognizing the barriers is uber important. Are you still doing the pottery?

Indeed. I haven't felt that safe (mentally) in a while, so of course it's going to feel strange. I am still doing pottery, but that's difficult when I'm not really aware of what's going on below the neck. Thankfully, I have an event at work tomorrow, so I will not be going to pottery.

He did say I could call him tomorrow if I need to, but I would rather have a face to face session if I can. Would just depend on what he has open.

That soup sounds delightful! I really should start cooking again (something other than my lentils which I am still obsessed by lol)

Why does the Critic steal my words?

I'm on a 5 hour Webex training for work that just started.... Yawn.....

I'm sat at in the back row the back of my pharmacology class, and just counting down the time.Weve been here for the past two hours and it's a four hour class.

R said he would write to me on tuesday- so far he hasn't. I sent him the following email yesterday. I don't think he will even reply to be honest, and that makes me so mad at him. I just find the waiting so humiliating. He can't say I didn't give him a chance.