Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

When do you see T next?

Monday evening. Not horribly long but didn't get to see him today since he went out of town again this weekend.

Would you be able to go without H?

The thing is it takes as long as it takes to get there. Someone else may be done with just two sessions- but it's YOUR therapy.

I so wanted to paint today but I was in too much pain and my ponytail got in the paint and I have paint down the back of shirt and on my neck and I had stand in the shower on one foot crying because I was stupid enough to get paint in my hair and I was driving in my car and this song was on the cd and I started crying and had to pull over. So a large part of my day was spent in tears which is unusual as I hardly ever cry but since being discharged by exT I seem to be able to cry easier

There's no harm done with the paint and it doesn't mean your stupid. You washed it off and it's something I would probably do.

It's okay to cry.

I was just thinking back to earlier with my exT I used to make myself bleed by digging my nails into my arm rather than cry in front of him towards the end I used to let a few tears trickle down. I hear you saying it ok but I don't believe it
Thanks

I needed to hear that. I've been blaming myself for someone else's actions and beating myself up for the last 7 or 8 years. Instead of taking responsibility for my part and letting the guilty party take responsibility for their part, I've been vilifying myself and my health has suffered for it.

The couch is better than therapy.

Ugh, woke up at 3am and can't get back to sleep.

It's okay not to believe it now, but I hope one day you will see it for yourself.

Can you still contact GP to help support you?

If you do your letting go WITHIN therapy, you should be OK. The tornado will blow itself out if you give it a chance.

To switch metaphors: let T be your lightning rod. Even if you burn her, there will be no harm done in the real world.

Therapy really does take that long. You needn't beat youself up about THAT.

What use is it if you never spend it?

Would you guys see your T if he offered you a session during his holiday?

(He did the same thing last year too. )

Yes, I would. Mine allows email when he's away, and I've used that, so I imagine I'd use a session as well. The way I see it is, they could always choose not to offer. If they offer, it's OK to use it.

I hadn't thought about it like that. I said the 'f' word in there yesterday and quickly apologized for it and she said this is my space and basically i can say whatever i want or need to in there. Will it? Blow itself out if I let it? It's pretty damn big. Can she handle it? Will there really be no harm done in the real world? Good things to ponder in the next 2 weeks (I already had a little vacation planned next week before I went back for the summer, so no session again til 7/25)

I ran out of time to respond to y'all earlier but I will throughout the day. Just wanted to say a quick thank you overall. I so appreciate couchies!

Thanks. I guess I know that in my head but have trouble feeling it....

Thank you so much for all of this. L and I actually touched on the whole "it's not perfect, but is anything?" stuff yesterday a little bit. And thank you for the reminder that I don't have to put a time limit on myself.

Difficult question.

From a standpoint of 'is it okay to take the session' I'd say yes. If he offers it, it's okay. He has to know how much he can take on and is willing to give, and if he want to then that's okay.

However, even though I intellectually know that, I could never agree to such an offer myself. I'd feel it'd create so many issues down the line for me that I'd not want to deal with that.

If the woman offered and I was willing to pay then I would take the appointment. I let therapists take care of themselves and believe if they offer then I will take them at their word that they are willing to do it.

Can't wait to be done with this damn presentation. It'll be over in two hours!

The therapist wouldn't offer a session during her holiday. If I had one who would, I don't think I'd take them up on it. However, I think I recall you saying that the one you see is going away for a month or something. That is a long time. I don't really know for sure what I would do in that situation. To be honest, I probably wouldn't want a therapist who went away for so long - especially when it wasn't the only vacation they took every year. It just wouldn't work for me.

SheHulk, there isn't a set way that voluntary admissions are done in my experience. I have always been voluntary - but as a minor, maybe it's different. Anyway, the first time, there was no ER. C went to the hospital and talked to someone. It was agreed we needed a rest. Had to sit in a wheelchair and went right up - luckily they had a bed. A couple days before that, we had also almost been admitted somewhere else - a private mental hospital. However, I hated the intake person because she was rude and my dad took pity on me and didn't make me stay. There was no ER there. Two other admissions were through the ER. Actually, one of them may have been involuntary because we overdosed (so obviously ER), but I'm not sure. After I was released from the pediatric ward, the cops handcuffed me and transported me to a private mental hospital. Then one other was straight to a private mental hospital, and those don't have ERs.

I think maybe the first one changed to involuntary because C stayed suicidal and kept SI'ing while we were there. And I think sometimes they do it for insurance purposes.