What's wrong with my therapist?

Thank you Kitty !! Me toooo.


She's my age, so she gets what I have been going thru. She seems someone I can nestle down with and enjoy my experience with her.


She doesn't miss a beat with me either.


Birdie

Hi Humminbird!

I am sorry that I didn't get back to you before you went to your new psychologist. I wanted to wish you well and to tell you to hang in there. I knew you must have been very nervous and scared! Congratulations on finding a much much better one than the last one!!!!! I am really happy for you.

If you don't mind me asking, did you get to tell her about what happened to you. I know that that was so traumatizing. I wonder if you can get your money back for that visit. That was not a visit. But, I am happy and relieved for you that she seems like someone you can work with. At least, she doesn't have 2 heads, you know.

I'm sorry about the financial struggle regarding the new psychiatrist. You know if you get into a Day program, you can more than likely get assigned to a psychiatrist there. I hope you can get either one soon. In the meantime, if you are already set on your medications, you can ask your primary care doctor to prescribe them for you. This would be until you find a new psychiatrist or enter a day program were they would more than likely have one available to you.

Thank you for updating us! I am happy for you!!

That is such a good idea Going, thank you !! I never thought of going back to my primary and asking for my psych meds until I get straightened out with a new psych doc. She did order me a months supply of Klonopin in the hopes I would get settled with a new psych doc. So, will send her a text tomorrow to inquire if she will agree to this. Wow, you have such insight and great ideas !!!

Once I was in the car and traveling and chatting with my volunteer driver, one of my favorites, I calmed down and enjoyed the ride there. I am very familiar with the location of this office as it's right across the street from where I used to live.


She had a beautiful office, very large with lots of sunny windows looking over a sunny pasture. Very comfortable chairs and pretty wall hangings too (no scary pictures) and she was funny and I immediately relaxed and then..................came some of her tough questions............. and it scared me that she might decide not to see me again, so I did not tell her everything. She kept trying to get me to admit I dissociate, but I kept deferring to the fact that it might be absonse seizures I have as actually there is really no test to determine either. I did not tell her I have BiPolar ll, but she knows my s. ideations and my many hospitalizations in the past. I have had two instances in the past where a therapist has turned me away due to my diagnoses which has made me very gunshy, so I slowly want to let her know about being BiPolar. She got stuck on my former spouse, the sociopath and she kept asking if I was still in contact with him and had I seen him recently and looked hard at me when I told her about going thru a domestic violence women's shelter for safety against former spouse. So, I got most of the worst over with. She did agree to see me on Thursday and the following Thursday and she really didn't seem to want my co-payment, she said it will all come out in the wash, she was not worried. But the three issues she is concerned with is ... do I dissociate, where is the former spouse and not knowing I have BiPolar. Other than that, the whole hour went smashingly well.


No, I did not tell her about that other therapist, yet. We did talk about the peculiarities of my former psych doc and his business arrangements which were very odd and worrisome and she concurred that it was best not to go back to him.


So, I am looking forward to seeing my new therapist in two days, yay !! I hope she will continue to see me, feeling very vulnerable over this.

Birdie

Hi Hummingbird1950!

Thanks for the update! It sounds like there is a good chance that your Primary Care Physician will agree to prescribe your medication for you. I am sure that she will understand your situation. I wonder if it might be a good idea to go and see her. It might be easier to explain everything in person than in a text message. I hope she agrees to it!

I am so very sorry that you have been in a domestic violence relationship with your ex-husband. I am sorry for the trauma that he caused you. Your psychologist is very, very concerned about you. I am too. I am glad that you shared all of that with her. Please be safe.

What a nice change! She is a keeper. She is more concerned about your safety and you getting the help that you need than getting paid. On top of that, she is funny and she makes you feel very relaxed. I am really happy for you! I agree that you should tell her about your bipolar 2 diagnosis. I get the impression that you can trust her. I hope all of your appointments go well with her. I think that she will continue to see you; otherwise, she wouldn't have agreed to another appointment! But, I understand your being nervous and anxious.

Good luck to you with everything. Also, please be safe.

Hummingbird1950!

I forgot to mention this in my previous post. Have you ever read The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker? It is a very informative book that I believe you might find helpful. The author is a world widely know expert on violence and protection. He runs an enormous security agency and has also provided his expertise to police departments, the CIA, and other government officials.

Here is a video of him giving a talk to college students:

I have THAT book, and it's my bible !! What a coincidence !! WOW I always felt any woman should give this book to their daughters before venturing out into the world. It's such a smart book and gives very wise information. It helped me believe in gut instinct.

This book is no longer in print, I believe. I listened to the author on a book tape, then had to buy the book. When it was on the book shelves, I used to buy this book and give it to women I knew would help them.

Interesting that you brought this up Going !!

Just so you know, I had a very beneficial visit with my new therapist today. She has alot of training and expertise in the areas I need help. Today, we went back into my history and it's her feeling since I never actually was able to talk about my childhood trauma issues with any therapist, I am still carrying alot of that with me now which is causing soo much disruption in my life. Where I only wanted to start today going forward finding a life worth living, I kept telling her (first visit) to stop as I needed to practice grounding skills before we went forward. That gave her a clue that she needs to go back and look at some of my early trauma before I can go forward. I only wish she could use EMDR, but she is not trained in that. She used to run groups for women with my issues thru the county and state. She has opened my eyes to alot in only two sessions.


Tomorrow I travel to the new psych doc, fingers crossed that will go well and then I will be set for awhile.


Thank you for keeping up with me Going !!!



Birdie

Wow! That is kewwl that you find the book to be very helpful to you. And that is very nice of you to be buying it for people that you care about.


I find that if I apply his knowledge even to other areas of my life, I understand things better. Many times I refused to believe something because it was an unbearable thought. I didn't want to believe that a so-called friend of mine for 37 years had been gaslighting me. But, I suspected it within that last 2 years. Have you read his other books? I am waiting for them to come to the library, so I can read them without having to buy them.


She sounds like a very, very skilled therapist. I hope she will let you use your grounding techniques more.


That is awesome that you got a new psychiatrist! That happened so fast! Yes, I will keep my fingers crossed for you that he will be great too. Good luck with the new psychiatrist! Please let me know how it goes.


Thank you for following up. I really appreciate it.

Hello, Hummingbird--
I think you described your reaction very well and thoroughly. I don't think I can tell from your description of her behavior if she's ther therapist we should all avoid or whether there's some subtle technique going on here, but the most important thing is she's not meeting your needs. (She wouldn't be meeting mine either if she asked me why I wanted to be depressed.) I hope you communicate your feelings to her in more explicit detail. And, by the way, thanks for mentioning the trouble you have finding services that accept Medicaid. Interesting, isn't it? We're in some ways disadvantaged anyway by being old--and now the healthcare system disadvanatges us in relation to staying psychologically healthy.
This is my 1st post and I don't know how to send 'Hugs', but please accept them from me in this form.
Best,
Party of One

Medicare will only cover a partial hospitalization unless your coverage us through a private insurance company. The program I work at offers both.

I really hope it works for you! The program I work is called a day program. It is an umbrella term because we offer both an IOP Partial program. really the only difference is the people in the PH must attend a longer day and be billed totally differently than anybody in the IOP program.

Hello nottrustin ~ I have been trying to get into Partial Hospitalization, but all the local hospitals do not accept Medicare anymore, so I am sol. I have attended PHP before and it was very beneficial. But as long as all my local hospitals no longer accept Medicare patients for this program, I won't be able to access it.

Take care

Bairdie

Thank you Wishing my local hospitals cover PHP thru Medicare, but they no longer are working with Medicare, it's all self pay now.

Birdie

Hello Partyofone ~ Welcome and your post come thru clearly. I am a newbie too and it took awhile to allow the Smilies. I think you may need to go to your profile and see if you can check that you allow Smilies.


Yes, it has taken months and months of looking and trial and error finding Medicare providers and the ones that accept it actually are very inferior and poor patient standards so far. Even though the Medicare.gov website hosts pages and pages of "available psych docs and therapists", 99% of them are either out of network, no longer accepting patients or not in business anymore.

I think our aging population has become a burden to Medicare now. I am hearing from a lot of providers I interview that the reason most no longer accept Medicare is the reimbursement rate being soo low. I live in a high-cost area, so most of the providers here are now concierge (meaning they charge a monthly fee of $2,000.00 and you get easier access to them ).


I have contacted my State Federal Senator for help navigating all this, but I doubt he will be able to help me. It's worth a try.

Birdie

Hello Going ~ Well the new psychiatrist kanked out. They wanted the 20% of their rate not the medicare rate at time of service going forward, so I left the appointment. I came home and called Medicare about this and since I have what is called "cross-over", providers who accept medicare are not permitted to do this. At the very least, they may be allowed to ask for 20% of the Medicare rate, not their rates.

So, spent the rest of the afternoon and finally found a teaching hospital that, after begging them and letting them know I have 15 days left of a controlled substance, they scheduled me before I loose the rest of my medication, otherwise their first was December . That was a tense afternoon and of course, now coming down with a migraine. This is much further away but after calling 24 psych docs on the Medicare website and finding no one, I thought I was doomed. .Of course, there is your suggestion to go back to my primary but she made it clear to me she would only give me one months supply of Klonopin.


I did not know that the author has written more books, will check that out at the library. Thanks for the heads-up.

Wow, you mean a close friend of 37 years has been gaslighting you? If you want to, start a new thread on this and we can talk about it there. I'm really sorry to hear this !!! I understand the depth of betrayal you must be feeling.


Yes, my new T is practicing grounding with me, I had to teach her, lol. Oh well, it's a work in progress.

Take good care,

Birdie

Hi Hummingbird!

I'm sorry that the psychiatrist did not work out due to the issue with medicare. What a relief that the teaching hospital agreed to see you soon! Too bad it has to be so far. Is this a permanent arrangement or is this only temporary? I sure hope it is permanent. It is such a hassle having to keep looking because of the no answers. I can imagine how stressful dealing with all of that must have been. It is certainly understandable how this could all cause a migraine. Too much stress!!!!!


Oh, you had to teach her all the grounding skills that you have learned?! I think what matters is that she understands that you need to use them as you both work on your trauma together. You have so much trauma to deal with including the weird therapist that you just saw.

Thank you very much for your support about my so called friend. I will eventually write about it.

I hope you feel better. All that stress sure can cause a big time migraine!

Hello Going ~ Please let me know when you start a thread about your friend who is gas lighting you. I am an expert on that topic, years and years of experience, sadly. It's a betrayal of one of the deepest levels. That is one of the behaviors I can usually bead on right away.


I don't know if this new psychiatrist will be permanent. But I liked the customer service rep heard me and moved some things around to fit me in. I know this hospital has issues prescribing benzos, so will just have to wait and see, it's only two weeks away. Sooo glad I am getting away from that clinic with the dreaded psychologist. I did call Medicare about their demanding a 20% copay off their fees, not medicare approved fees. Medicare wanted me to call this special reporting agency, but will wait and think about that.


Just beginning to function from the migraine, it was a doozie. Bringing up soo much of the past too quickly is really too much. It's like pandora's box got opened and out poured my past. She did sit and take notes and asked for clarification on somethings. Today, I have been flooded with memories and dreams too. Dreams are where all my trauma memories come out. I do want her to go slower, but she wants a quicker pace, much quicker than I am able to cope with. We will talk about that next week. I wish I could see her twice a week, but she is not suggesting that, so have to be patient and manage these flooding emotions thru art.


Thank you for keeping up with me

Take good care,

Birdie

Just checked out the new psychiatrist I will be seeing in 2 weeks. He has only been practicing one month at this teaching hospital Probably why it was soo easy with this large teaching hospital to get an appointment, just a guess.


However, I won't pre-judge at this point. I am lucky to get an appointment with a psychiatrist this quick who takes my insurance.


Birdie

I will definitely let you know about my thread. I wonder: can I PM you about it. I think this forum is only for psychotherapy issues. But, we could talk by PM, if you are open to that.

I hope you can stay with this psychiatrist on a long term basis. It is too much trouble to have to keep searching endlessly.


Did the medicare office say that the clinic is not supposed to be demanding the 20%? And that you may report them. Did I understand it correctly?


Is the psychiatrist still a resident or is he an attending physician? In my experience, if he is an attending, I wouldn't worry about it. In residency they work with hundreds of patients before they graduate from residency. If he is still a resident, at least he will be supervised, although he would have much less experience than an attending physician would. I really hope it works out for you.

I really hope you feel better soon. I can imagine how going through all that trauma can cause the migraine. I am not attacking your therapist. But, she should understand why you can't go through it so quickly. I mean you have many traumatic situations to process. Again, I am not attacking your therapist at all.You might want to ask her if you can come twice a week. See what she has to say.

Thank you for following up with me too! It means a lot.

Yes, you can PM me. Looking forward to your new thread !!

Endlessly is the operative word for all the searching I have been doing. I hope I can settle with him.


This psychiatrist is a doctor, or that is what the customer service rep called him. When I looked him up, I see he has only been in practice a little under one year, so not sure really what status he is, will ask him when I see him. Thank you for the heads up. This is a teaching hospital, so he is in the right place for just starting out. Hoping he is supervised, I will ask him that as well.

I asked for twice a week and her response is that she's booked, so will take what I can.


Migraine is done, thank goodness !!!

How are you ??

Take good care,

Birdie

Often young just starting doctors (any professionals) are still full of energy and new ideas and might be even better than experienced ones in some sense. You never know

Hello Divine ~ Nice to hear from you

I am hoping this is the case as I have a very completed diagnoses.


I am also hoping he is supervised. Then I also hope that he will get me into a DBT group. I seem to keep saying I am hopeful. Will know in two weeks.


Birdied

Hi Hummingbird,

This is just to give you a brief background on a physician's training. I hope you don't mind. This might clear things up a little.

First of all, a person is considered a doctor as soon as they graduate from medical school and become an MD. From this point, they do a residency in their chosen field.


During residency the doctor acquires many, many hours of training seeing and treating patients. As they advance in a residency program, they also train medical students and lower level residents.

When doctors graduate from residency, they are new attending physicians. At this point, they have a lot of experience with treating patients and training med students and lower level residents.


The psychiatrist that I see is a new physician, and he has already seen hundreds of patients. I would definitely not worry. My new young doctor also teaches medical students and residents.

Sorry about the long explanation. I hope it helps a little.

I hope it works out with him. Please let us know how it goes.

I am doing alright. Thank you for asking. When I get the chance, I'll PM you about what happened. I am no longer friends with that person. But, I'll let you know.

GL on your new appointments!

No, I don't mind at all, thank you for the explanation, thank you !!


Looked up this doctor again and his license showed under Interns and Residents which expired 6/2019. Under Medicine and Surgery, he's listed as his initial license being 2017. Doing the search under the hospital, it is showing he is Board Certified in Psychiatry and his years of practice is 4 and he completed his Residency 6/2019, started 7/2015. Undergrad in another country and that ended in 2015, so there are no gaps in time that I can see. There are no ratings when I googled him either. So, will inquire what his status really is when I see him. Being soo new to this, I guess I am his clinical experience, I hope he is supervised.


Sorry to hear about your "friend". Yes, pm me when you get a chance. Have a nice Labor Day


Birdie

Hi Hummingbird1950!

I just sent you a PM about my friend. I wrote about some of the things that happened but not everything yet.

If this new psychiatrist is board certified, he is more than qualified to treat you. That means he has graduated from medical school and residency. He is definitely an attending physician. He is probably teaching medical students and residents which means that he doesn't need to be supervised.

On top of that, he has been working for four years as a board certified attending physician.. He has probably treated hundreds of patients by now. At this point, he is very, very qualified. Hands down. He does not need supervision.

See if he can help you. I hope it works out well for you!

Thank you for your very appreciated information about medical professionals in the psychiatric profession. I'll be asking him questions when I see him if he is supervised, just thought I would ask this anyway. But then, don't want to get off on the wrong foot with him, lol.

I'll respond to your pm. Have been off the computer due to the storms we are having now that Hurricane Dorian is reaching us (the outer bands that have the wind and rain and thunderstorms). Really weird weather, barometric pressure all over the place. Affecting all the birds and my cat too.



Birdie