Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

I feel like maybe I am having a break down. I don't know if it is the anxiety or not having taken my medications. I'm scared.

Hugs, SK. Can you contact your psychiatrist or T?

Well, I'm officially on an indefinite break from Dr. T (am welcome to come back whenever, even if just to have another discussion about things, vs. officially coming back). Today's session did not go well. One of my parting comments was to take good care of his fish. I gave stone back, too.

I think they slipped you a used test so you’d pass!
You know, like getting someone to pee in your cup?

ETA: So sorry, LT.

Thanks, @@. And he also made a comment that with any other T, I'm either going to bump against their boundaries like with him and be unhappy or else end up in a boundary-blurring relationship like with ex-MC. I was like, "There must be a middle ground." T: "Maybe?"

(I'm just trying to block the used poop test out of my mind...sorry, Una...)

I got over my immense fear of calling my PDOC and I'm going to be able to see him tomorrow at 5:30 PM. I'm supposed to teach a class tomorrow night but I called one of the group and they are going to take over the teaching for tomorrow in case I'm not back, or I'm not up to it. I feel like I'm having a break down. Now I just have to get through work for the next two days.

There is such a thing as a middle ground. It's not a maybe.

Are you at home now SK?

Can you get into bed?

No, I'm at work but TBH I'm not working that much. I'm doing what I have to in order to get by. I'm contemplating taking tomorrow off of work but maybe it is better if I have something to focus on rather than ruminate. I feel pretty physically ill on top of emotionally messed up. Both of the medications I stopped have a pretty long half life so that's good, but I'm at the end of the half life. I would have been really sick if I would have stopped the ADHD medication. I have skipped that before on accident and by like 9 in the morning was really sick. I'm just getting shaky though and light headed and nauseated.

Thanks, this helps to read. T just seemed so sure. He can be so arrogant at times...

Do you have anyone else who could keep an eye on you after work?

Yeah, I'll be going to my parents house. I'm supposed to volunteer tonight but I don't think I'm up to it.

Thanks. I didn't even think of asking that, so I'll bring it up tomorrow. I really want my Friday back too.

I cried today during session which is unlike me. My T asked if the psychiatrist called in more meds for me and I told him what I was told this morning.

To me anyway it would make sense that a client would reach out to their therapist when they really didn't feel well and it should be expected with a client with higher needs.

You need as much support as you need. I hope he has a free slot on fridays for you.

It's perfectly okay to cry. you have been under a lot of stress.

Problem student snapped his fingers at me when I didn’t hear him and was slow to respond.

I’m done here.

Other lessons R taught me:

It's okay to put yourself. I hope you can let them know you can't come in today.

Bloody hell, ATAT - that's the height of rudeness. Please tell me you haven't reached the limit of escalating this at this point?

Wow. I'm pretty speechless. In what situation would that ever be okay?!

(never)

I would be ashamed to raise a kid who behaved like that with a teacher.

OMG. That is so rude of that student. HUGS!!!

No, I held off on making a formal report until the Student Advocacy woman got a chance to talk to him this afternoon and report back. If he shows (he wasn’t answering her emails or phone messages).

But, now planning to write a formal report as soon as I can. Of course I’ll still be stuck with him for probably a month while that goes through.

Ouch. I hope it goes through ASAP.

Garçon?!

Omg. I would be sooo tempted to call him Sheldon.

Is he still alive? I am not sure he would be if he did that to me. That is ridiculous. He needs to go back to kindergarten and learn some basic manners.