Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

One of the best things I ever did for myself both as a woman and as the survivor of an abusive marriage was to quit apologizing as much as I was—which was a lot—except when I really had done something worth apologizing for.

My PDOC told me last night that he loves me. I know it is in a non-romantic way as he spent a large chunk of time talking about his wife and what he's learned through her (apparently she's a T). It felt good to hear it from him and it probably felt good for him to say it. Sometimes I think there just has to be good human connection. It did feel a little weird, I must admit, but mostly it felt lovely.

I have to teach tonight, but honestly I just feel like going home and hibernating. I know that's not a choice though. I have to teach tonight like it or not.

I do need to work on not saying "I'm sorry" for everything, but this time it was warranted, even though the irritation was minor. I do apologize especially egregiously just for having feelings.

Happy Birthday, BCM! I hope you get some cake.

Awww thanks a lot

Thanks only if i buy it myself and i have just come home from shopping and the thought didnt occur to me.

I apologize way too much for everything even for apologizing too much. Part of it is just who I am I guess, a guilty conscience cultivated by never feeling like I was good enough growing up, and being raised to believe my feelings must be apologized for as well, but I think it's also been further entrenched as an adult from working in customer service for so many years. I mean even now, answering emails from members, probably 80% of the responses I send every day begin with "I apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced" or in chat "I am so sorry that this happened to you" or whatever. H gets really aggravated at me for apologizing so much. "I know, I'm sorry I do that. Oops."



i don't know how to stop...

I’m exhausted. Today was long. Tomorrow is going to be longer. The one good thing about this job and working all these hours is that there is absolutely no time to eat. Then when I get home I’m too tired to bother so no binging has been happening. Today I didn’t even sit down once. When the kids were napping I was folding their laundry. By the time I got done cleaning up the kitchen from their lunch, folding their laundry and doing their dinner prep-the infant woke up. Then I fed him, but away the laundry and the other kids woke up, played for 45 minutes, then it was time to cook the dinner I prep for them. Toddlers ate,I fed the baby dinner, sent the toddlers outside, cleaned up dinner mess and then their mom came in from work and I left. I got home at 6:30 it’s after 8 now
And I have to be back at 7am tomorrow.

Rambling. Shut up, Jersey.

But it sounds like you got them on a nap schedule? Yay!

ETA: So after work I stopped at the pharmacy. I was heading for the pickup counter when I could see a woman walking right on my heels out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly she accelerated, banging into me as she passed on my right. (No, no excuse mes or anything.) She wanted to get to the pickup counter first.

However, I'd been blocking her view of the pickup counter, which would have shown her that the one clerk was occupied by a woman with a lot of questions. So bang-woman tapped her heels for a couple moments in front of me, then made a beelines for the dropoff counter to try and get ahead that way. The pharmacist must have told her to get back in line, because she turned around, saw the line (a few people behind me now), saw that I'd moved up when she left the line, and probably figured I would not be inclined to let her back in, because she left.

I'm sure she had some reason to justify her hurry, but why not just say to me, "excuse me, would you mind if I go ahead of you, I'm running late"? Instead of elbowing me in the side.

Yes! They are all on schedule. The infant and 2 year old takes a nap from 1-2:30 and when the 4 year old gets home from preschool (he goes for 2 hours in the afternoon) he is required to Have quiet time in his room for 40 minutes.

@@, It Certainly would of helped if she would have asked to go first.

Not trying to make some grand announcement or anything, but I'm going to take a bit of a break from PC, at least from posting. Just think I need to right now. Take care, all, and I'm sure I'll come back at some point.

We all take breaks. Come back when you are ready.

You'll be missed LT. Hugs Kit

BCM

Happy birthday BCM!!!

Hello couch you comfortable thing you! Have a good evening everyone.

My pharmacy ladies are like seinfelds soup nazi, no kidding. No cuts in line allowed! Sometimes if its a super long wait i step out of line to sit, and they still call me up in the right order.

Jersey, i wanna take a nap when you say!

The title of another thread reminded me of a joke I heard recently: "If psychotherapy is an art, why isn't the NEA* funding it?"

*National Endowment for the Arts in the US.

My daughter laughs because whenever the cats try to push in before i have finished feeding them i yell 'No soup for you!' It amuses me.

Happy birthday, BCM!

I was finally productive in the evening and was sweeping and mopping at midnight. i couldn't relax or wind down. I've been incredibly restless and wanted to do more...more cleaning, more homework, etc. I ended up going through my class schedule for the last 4 weeks of class and wrote down all the discussion questions and assignments that are due. I'm trying to stay ahead as much as possible.

I did punch a wall tonight. My 10 year old is really struggling. I met with his therapist today at his school and spent almost 2 hours with her.
I wasted my entire session tonight with T talking about my son. I blanked out everything else that's been on my mind besides that. I really want and feel like I should tell T about the SH and SI thoughts. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with the wound care clinic....I haven't been in 2-3 weeks now because I missed the last appointment and the dr was out last week.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes my eldest texted me to say its a good thing i am immortal. I will never get old. I wish i hd her optimism

I been lying here laughing at this. Its like your my sister city.

One of the bad things about online classes. My college is apparently updating the website or something right now I can't get on!! Grr. We have stuff due today and I need to be sure mine's all done.